The non-pot-dealing Mayor’s dead dogs are just the latest victims of misplaced use of deadly force by a local SWAT team.

Remember Sal Culosi? He got gunned down outside his house by a Fairfax County SWAT team member while being arrested for alleged football gambling offenses. He was unarmed. He had no police record. He was an optometrist.

Culosi’s killer said it was an accident. He kept his job.

Why would SWAT teams get involved in pot and gambling busts? My guess is there’s not enough of the work the whole SWAT concept was designed for to justify the teams’ existence, so police chiefs send the gung-ho specialists into situations where gung-ho is wholly inappropriate.

Thanks for nothing, Steve Forrest…

A red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK (I didn’t get the state or even see the driver) went out of control on wet pavement this afternoon and smashed into the car I was sitting in at a stoplight on New Hampshire Avenue just north of the DC border.

The red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK then took off through the stoplight.

Nobody in my car was injured, but my driver’s side door was pried open and the whole left side mangled as a result of the impact with the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK.

My car would still move. So while calling 911, I tried following the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK into DC.

But the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK was in extreme getaway mode and lost me almost immediately.

The 911 system put me on hold. And kept me there.

Before anybody at 911 picked up, I’d found a cop in a Metro Transit Police car stopped at a stop sign on Kansas Avenue. I tried telling him about hit and run with the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK, but he said he was on another call.

I told the Metro Transit cop 911 was keeping me on hold and asked if he could call for another officer. No, he said, he was on another call.

Before 911 picked up, an Officer Maloney of the Fourth District of the Metropolitan Police Department pedaled up on a bike and, seeing the condition of my ride, asked if a red Jaguar did it.

I said yes, and told him about the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK.

Turns out Officer Maloney had almost been killed by the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK a minute earlier while speeding away on Kansas Avenue.

If the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK had just hit and runned me in PG County, I’d bet a lot of money the driver would get away with it.

But Officer Maloney seemed pretty on the ball, and pretty not too happy about what the red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK had almost done to him.

I think anybody driving a banged-up red Jaguar with license plate Z63 CJK around here is in trouble.

And my neck’s hurting.

Today’s Washington Post has another front-page story about the evil doers in China. This one focuses on speed skater Joey Cheek, who was denied a visa to attend the upcoming Olympics.

The implication of the story is that Cheek won’t be allowed into China because of his efforts to call attention to atrocities in Darfur.

Not great.

All of these anti-China stories should make us feel better about us and worse about them.

And I might, if only I didn’t know that we put Cat Stevens on our no-fly list.

Cat Stevens!

Yeah, Homeland Security actually diverted a London-to-Dulles flight to Maine and arrested Stevens just to keep the guy who wrote “Peace Train” out of the country.

And by “the country,” I mean the U.S.

Not China.

And nobody really gave a rip. (The Post’s story about the singer’s detention and deportation only got a few paragraphs on page A10.)

And I’d get more worked up about Joey Cheek if he could write a protest song that was also a pop hit.

Sing with me:

“Now I’ve been crying lately/Thinking about the world as it is…”

Turns out Babe Ruth was black.

Well, at least that’s the selling point of novelist J. Anderson Cross’ latest work, “The Bambino Secret.”

In press releases for the book, Cross says the story is “based on the true story of Babe Ruth,” and that part of that tale includes going through life passing as a white guy.

Ruth’s non-whiteness has been rumored since his playing days, and has always been based mostly on his physical appearance and unknowns surrounding his parentage.

But Cross now claims that he found the “key link” to prove the Ruth race rumors in a “handwritten journal entitled: Colored Marriages from 1853 to 1859″ that the author found in Abingdon, Va., while researching for the novel.

Tough to refute that sort of evidence.

Cross’ incredible discovery knocks 714 home runs off Caucasians’ historical home run total, and forces whitey to read all the way down to No. 8 on the all-time list ( Dead Balls Era™ spokesmodel Mark McGwire) to find one of their own.

Oh, well.

In April, lawyers for both sides of WAKA LLC v. DC Kickball filed
paperwork with the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia asking for the case to be dismissed.

The motion was granted.

And so ends the Greatest Kickball Lawsuit of All Time™.

The federal case was originally filed in February 2006 and involved the folks responsible for turning DC into the adult kickball epicenter.

WAKA, also known as the World Adult Kickball Association, alleged that Carter Rabasa, founder of DC Kickball, had violated copyright laws because his league used the same kickball rules as WAKA.

Those are also pretty much the same rules used by third graders everywhere. No third graders were named as defendants.

The complaint also alleged that Rabasa, a former WAKA volunteer, defamed WAKA by calling the group “the Microsoft of kickball” in a 2005 City Paper story.

Rabasa countersued, alleging in his filings that WAKA used monopolistic tactics on the way to becoming, um, the Microsoft of Kickball™.

No terms of the settlement are included in the court filings.

However, the DC Kickball website holds clues that Rabasa, who lacked the deep pockets of the, um, Microsoft of Kickball™, hit his knees.

First, there’s a disclaimer from Rabasa saying that no “defamatory and/or disparaging remarks regarding WAKA” will be allowed on the DC Kickball site.

Then there’s this syntax-challenged announcement labeled as “Apology to WAKA“: “Carter Rabasa, DCKickball and DCK Sports LLC regret and retract the defamatory and/or disparaging statements made regarding WAKA Kickball. Those statement were in error.”

(“Those statement,” huh? Is that a typo, or some sort of juvenile,
kickball-age appropriate “I had my fingers crossed when I said I’m
sorry!” trick?)

Even with Rabasa’s apparent fold, it’s hard to declare any winner here.

But the losers are legion: Anybody hoping that this case would reach a trial stage, so grownups would argue in a public courtroom over kickball—or Kickball™—is diminished by its early denouement.

The Washington Post went all Chandra in covering the weekend inductions of Art Monk and Darrell Green to the NFL Hall of Fame. Saturday’s paper contained several stories about the players, and each was given a full-page layout that included career highlights and pullout quotes in big type hailing their accomplishments.

Monk’s page included a blurb from Stump Mitchell, the Redskins new running backs coach, in which Mitchell goes on about Monk’s clutchiness:

“It was third and seven and opponents knew that we were going to him, and they couldn’t stop him.”

What did you say, Stump? “We?”

Come, now.

Stump Mitchell was never even on a sandlot, high school, college, pro or Pro Bowl team with Monk, as a player or coach. Mitchell played nine seasons in the NFL, but all with the Cardinals, then coached for nine more in Seattle before signing on as a Redskin a few months ago.

It’s bizarre enough that the Post would go to Stump Mitchell for thoughts about Monk, but it’s even bizarrer that he’d say “we.”

How dare you, Stump?

‘Course, my greatest memory of Monk is when we were playing Denver in the 1988 Super Bowl, and he made a 40-yard catch early in the game when everything was going wrong for us and going great for the Broncos.

That catch helped right our ship, and the day ended with us crushing them.

Dan Snyder’s ante-liquidated theme park chain, Six Flags, has been hosting a game of chicken for investors this week.

Snyder’s company will release its second-quarter 2008 earnings on Monday. Six Flags is way over $2 billion in debt. Its stock (SIX) has lost more than 90 percent of its value since early 2006.

And, geez louise, the Frighttorium™ just burned down.

A lousy report, therefore, could mean the end of Six Flags’ as a solvent outfit. Good numbers will mean Capt. Snyder’s ship stays afloat for a while longer.

Those who have bought in recently or are still holding onto shares, in other words, are gambling that the end isn’t near.

The money people don’t seem to know what Monday’s report will hold.

The stock sold for as little as a quarter last month, after board member and Snyder partner Dwight Schar dumped TWO MILLION shares.

But SIX climbed back above a dollar last week and has stayed there, despite the demise of the Frighttorium™ (a haunted house and the big attraction of the Halloween season at Six Flags America in Largo) and an announcement on Wednesday from Six Flags that it won’t meet an obligation to pay a dividend to holders of preferred stock. The Wall Street Journal described that move as just “the latest sign of trouble” for Snyder et al.

SIX closed the week at $1.12.

So, what’ll the report say? Or, in memory of the departed Frighttorium™, will Snyder be handing out tricks or treats to shareholders on Monday?

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

Dan Snyder’s spooky theme park chain, Six Flags, suffered some big setbacks yesterday in its fight to keep from going all Bennigan’s and Steak and Ale on us.

The haunted house at Snyder’s Largo outpost pretty much burned to the ground last night. No cause for the blaze has yet been disclosed.

The Frighttorium™, as Snyder’s marketing folks used to refer to what is now merely a charred carcass, was expected to be the centerpiece of the Frightfest festival come Halloween season.

Speaking of horror stories and Six Flags, just hours before the Frighttorium™ was reduced to a Shittorium™, a judge in Kentucky set a trial date for the lawsuit filed by Kaitlyn Lasitter, the teenager whose feet were cut off on the Superman ride at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. The case won’t be heard until January 5, 2010.

That date gives Snyder’s chain plenty of time to collect depositions, or to just go all Bennigan’s and Steak and Ale on us.

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.

The most famous homer ever hit in Washington has gotten a lot of press lately. It was hit by a New York Yankee more than 50 years ago.

Mickey Mantle crushed a pitch from Senators hurler Chuck Stobbs over the left centerfield bleachers at Griffith Stadium in April 1953.

The ball completely left the stadium, and was later found in the yard of a house on Oakdale Place NW. Legend holds that Mantle’s shot had traveled 565 feet.

Despite time and the Dead Balls Era™, it remains the longest HR in baseball history.

Stobb’s death earlier this month brought the homer back in the news. And of all the pieces written, none was more fascinating than the one posted on the washingtonpost.com’s PostMortem blog by obituary writer Matt Schudel.

After the Post’s Stobb’s obit appeared, Schudel got a call at the paper from Donald Dunaway. Back in 1953, Dunaway was the 10-year-old kid who found Mantle’s homer on Oakdale Place.

The official story had long been that Yankees PR man Arthur “Red” Patterson had left the stadium after Mantle’s at-bat and brought it back after paying a local kid $1 for finding it.

Dunaway was that local kid, and his version, which I had never read before, is that he was the only person even looking for the ball, and that he brought it back to the stadium by himself, and for doing that he was paid $100 by the Yankees. Dunaway says he also was given another baseball.

Apparently, as much as has been written about the homer through the years, nobody had ever bothered locating the guy who really found it.

Kudos to Schudel for getting Dunaway’s tale out there. I want more!

George Michael and Larry Craig in the same town for one night only!

WTOP is reporting “anxious” atmosphere in area men’s rooms.*

*WTOP isn’t really reporting this. But George really is at the Verizon Center tonight, and the U.S. Senate really is in session.

Getting past security at Redskins games can take as long as getting past security at Dulles Airport. Only the guards at FedExField, home of the $5 bottle of water, are frisking for illicit peanut butter sandwiches and Makers Mark pints, not weapons of mass destruction.

Now, Dan Snyder comes in to save the day — or at least half an hour of it.

For a price, of course.

Snyder is introducing the FLO Card to the NFL. That’s the same I.D. system used at a lot of U.S. airports, where those who register and pay a fee get to buzz past the hoi polloi and get waved past security.

“I am excited to bring red-carpet treatment to FedExField on game day for thousands of loyal Redskins fans,” says Redskins Chief Operating Officer Mitch Gershman in announcing the FLO Card rollout. “This affordable and innovative new service enables the average fan to enjoy premier fast lane-access, a service not available at any other sports venue in the country. This fan-centric membership helps to advance our ongoing quest to improve the total fan experience on game day.”

This particular improvement on the total fan experience will cost $100 a year.

Presumably, fans who shell out for the FLO Card can more than make up its cost by sneaking in all the hoagies and beer bottles they can stuff down their inseam.

Dans Snyder and Steinberg are still playing the feud!

First Dan Sn. banned Dan St. from using video from inside Redskins Park on his washingtonpost.com blog.

Now Dan St. gets one of Dan Sn.’s own pets, Chris Cooley, to invite him over to shoot video of lunch at his mom’s. Since the video comes from outside the gates of Redskins Park, Dan Sn.’s odd ban doesn’t apply.

So Dan St. throws it up on his Bog.

This has gotta hurt Dan Sn.

Especially coming so soon after Dan St. spurned Dan Sn.’s effort to hire him.

Is Dan Sn. just gonna let Dan St. do him like that?

Full Disclosure: Steinberg is a neighbor and I still owe him money for a bag of coffee beans from Costco.

Washington Mystics officials and coaches told the Washington Post how disappointed they were by Tuesday night’s Detroit/L.A. brawl.

“I don’t think it’s good for our league,” Mystics GM Linda Hargrove told the Post.

I used to try to follow the Mystics, but this was the first and only WNBA story I’ve read this year. Highlights of the melee are the only WNBA highlights I’ve watched this year.

There’s not even a “Mystics” category on our blog.

It’s good for the league.

The brawl might not be good for Rick Mahorn, however. In every story about the fracas, the former Bullets Bruise Brother and current Detroit assistant coach gets sort of accused of hitting a woman.

Maybe not all publicity is good publicity.

The Redskins would pick a fight with Gandhi.

He’s not around, so they’re going after Dan Steinberg.

The team ordered the DC Sports Bogger to stop posting videos he’d taken from inside Redskins Park on washingtonpost.com. Steinberg tried to get around the ban by embedding videos from other local media websites, but the team contacted the paper’s lawyers and made him stop that, too, if the videos include training camp footage.

The prohibition recalls Snyder’s banning WJLA-TV from shooting inside the Park in 2000, while at the same time allowing news crews from other local network affiliates to shoot and air such footage on newscasts.

WJLA had refused to pay a fee demanded by Dan Snyder, who had only recently taken over the team, to become a “partner” of the Redskins.

Other local stations paid the fee, so, for example, George Michael of rival WRC-TV did his spots from the practice field.

But WJLA sportscaster Rene Knott would show up during each night’s telecast standing outside the gates in the Redskins Park parking lot.

Some of Steinberg’s best work comes in parking lots. But still…

This latest round of bizarre vindictiveness wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Steinberg rejected the Skins’ effort to lure him away from the Washington Post and onto Snyder’s payroll several weeks ago, would it?

Full Disclosure: Steinberg is a neighbor and I owe him money for a bag of coffee beans from Costco.

Dan Snyder’s penny-stock-or-bust theme park chain, Six Flags, today announced the launch of a voter registration drive at its parks.

To help publicize this democratic effort, called “Voice Your Vote,” Snyder has partnered with, ahem, Seventeen magazine.

It’s been a few years since I’ve read that publication or the Constitution. But, based on my recollections of both, and, well, the magazine’s name, I’d wager that Seventeen’s readership is as eligible to vote as the inmate population at Gitmo.

With marketing moves like this, how hard is it to believe Six Flags will be Chapter 11 by election day?

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder’s Six Flags soap opera.