In case you missed it: For the brings-home-96-to-98-percent-of-the-bacon-but-is-nevertheless-shunned print edition this week, I wrote about Will Dunham, an Arlington resident who has been hosting “Inside the Squared Circle” (ITSC), a weekly program on pro wrestling for 20 years. Dunham has had his pro bono pro wrestling program longer than Jay Leno had “The Tonight Show” or Tim Russert had “Meet the Press.” There’s never been any money or fame in it, but Dunham keeps at it for the noblest of reasons: Because he wants to.

I’m in awe. For real.

***

Saying the Redskins PR machine is screwed up is pointless at this point. It’s operating now exactly as it has operated for 10 years. So it’s likely that machine is operating just as somebody at Redskins Park wants it to operate.

But stuff still comes out of that place that boggles the mind. Any sane man would say the Redskins response to John Riggins’ characterization of Dan Snyder as “a bad guy” who has “a dark heart” was just plain wacko. Riggins is a pundit. The more outlandish the things he says, the more he is rewarded.  A big boy or wise man would have just taken Riggins’ slings and arrows and shut the hell up. There’s no way to rebut Riggins’ charges without looking dumb or guilty.

So what does Dan Snyder’s organization do? It trots out Silent Greg Blache to rebut Riggins charges. Blache, who just a couple weeks ago said he would no longer talk to the media, talked to the media about how Snyder doesn’t have a dark heart.

And to make everybody but Riggins look stupider, the Redskins PR office then produced a press release with Blache’s silly comments transcribed. A press release! Wha?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Redskins put out how many documents saying “Dan Snyder Does Not Have a Dark Heart?” Mark Rypien comes back to DC? Can he suit up? He only got sacked how many times? DC Divas hold tryouts? The Divas GM used to be on “Inside the Squared Circle”? Is that fab or what?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Redskins PR Machine Spreads the Word: Dan Snyder Doesn’t Have a ‘Dark Heart’!” »

For all his media hatred, Dan Snyder stuffs his staff with media people. Karl Swanson was in newspapers. Larry Michael was a radio executive. Even Vinny Cerrato came back to the team after a stint at ESPN, where he spent a season in exile after being banished by Marty Schottenheimer (who looks more like Vince Lombardi every season for what he accomplished here.)

Turns out the latest attack dog added to Snyder’s pack, David Donovan, fits the pattern. Donovan’s complete lack of respect for the media or the truth or both comes out every time he talks to a reporter these days. For but one example of Donovan’s outlook: He’s the guy who told the Washington Post a couple weeks ago that Redskins officials “don’t see any difference” in “the way our actual fans are behaving” this season.

But, there was a time when Donovan was way into newspapering. It was all spelled out in a 2007 feature story in the Daily Times Herald of Carroll, Iowa, his hometown, to honor the local boy made good when he took the job as General Counsel with the Redskins.

Make that the local paperboy made good.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Iowa State gave DC David Donovan AND Vinny Cerrato? What did DC ever do to Iowa State to deserve that? Why did David Donovan join the dark side leave journalism? Snyder’s media appearance starting to smell fishy? Ripken statue stolen by guy named Stoneburner who hangs out with a bunch of stoneburners?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: David Donovan, Snyder’s Latest Newspaper Hater, Was a Paperboy?” »

Dan Snyder came out of hiding or France or wherever he went while Rome burned to say he’s sorry. Well, to say “we” are sorry.

“We feel frustration and we feel sorry for our fans,” Snyder told a crowd at an event the Redskins organized. He was standing at a podium in front of a gang of players in jerseys and behind a placard that said “Children Come First.” As I noticed during a shot of the owner’s box in last week’s Monday Night Football broadcast, Snyder looks smaller these days than he ever did. (Seriously: Check out this video from WUSA.) Reminds me of what happened to Rev. Dimmesdale in the Cliff’s Notes version of The Scarlet Letter.

(AFTER THE JUMP: 2% of WRC viewers are “Thrilled!” by Dan Snyder’s mini-contrition? The Bathroom Diaries are looking for a few good places to squat? Have they considered FedExField’s beer-friendly head? The EagleBank Bowl adds a conference? Wes Unseld gets a street named after him? Will it be clogged in the middle at all times?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Why Is Dan Snyder Shrinking?” »

Joseph White of the Associated Press reports on what he calls a “rare, in-season interview” with Dan Snyder.

There’s only one quote from the media-hatin’ Redskins owner in White’s dispatch: “We’ve let everyone down, including ourselves,” Snyder said, “and we know that and we’re just apologetic.”

More to come?

More proof that everybody but Highlights Magazine is writing about the Redskins: Now, even the military/industrial complex is going after Dan Snyder. Military.com, a website for the forces, ran a story “Redskins Owner Dan Snyder Doesn’t Want You to Support the Troops in His Stadium.”

The piece takes a photo of a poster taken by FedExField security guards before the Eagles/Skins game that says “Hi to my huband in Afghanistan,” and runs with it. The Great Dan Steinberg made that poster famous after fishing it out of the trash near the stadium entrance.

To be fair, Snyder has shown support for our National Defense. Well, he put out a Commemorative Sept. 11 Redskins hat that had a red-white-and-blue Pentagon stitched on to the side in 2005.

And he sold that hat for only $23.99. Plus shipping. And he kept the money. But still. Bottom line: When Military.com lowers the boom on you, something’s gotta give.

And everybody’s favorite magazine geared toward an audience of corporate counsel people, Corporate Counsel magazine, also jumps in this week with “Not Exactly a Banner Season for the Washington Redskins.”

The publication interviews new Redskins COO and total BS’er David Donovan about the new policies at FedExField prohibiting signs and banning interviews in the parking lot, and he was also asked about fans at the Eagles game having to remove their t-shirts if the message on the garments was anti-Snyder.

“We’re not trying to limit what anyone wants to say or chant or wear,” Donovan told Corporate Counsel.

Wow. Thus continues Donovan’s awe-inspiring streak of just saying stuff so dishonest that not even he could believe it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Not even Corporate Counsel magazine can stomach David Donovan’s whoppers? David Donovan and Dan Snyder, adrenaline rush buddies? How does a Redskins win compare to a class action lawsuit? Skins are only the third-worst team in the NFL? Bono had a hand in Cooley’s wounding? D.C. United coach bails?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Win Over Dallas Was ‘Better Than Asbestos Litigation’?” »

The Washington Nationals took out a full-page advertisement in Sunday’s Washington Post.

Sure, the Nats season ended a while ago. But it makes sense that the Lerners would reach out while local sports fans are planning their sports ticket budgets and deleting Dan Snyder and Redskins.

But this Nationals ad is horrible.

After an all-glowing recap of the 2009 season — two of these three made the cut: Zimmerman/Dunn had big homer totals, Stephen Stasburg signed, and the Nats had THE WORST RECORD IN ALL OF BASEBALL — the ad copy climaxes with “[W]e can all see why Washington, DC is truly becoming the home of the National Pastime in the Nation’s Capital.”

Washington, DC is the home of baseball in the Nation’s Capital? Who knew?

And who wrote that?

***

WUSA is also kicking the Redskins when they’re down.  Advertisements for the local CBS affiliate that ran during the Ravens game yesterday urged Skins fans to “sound off ” about the team.

“We won’t throw away your signs!” said the voiceover.

Ouchie wouchie! Didn’t you WUSA guys used to be covert “partners” with Snyder and help him out with all his infomercials? Guess the contract’s up.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reebok boasts of its butt-enhancement powers? Shannon Sharpe goes after the Redskins? Dan Marino goes after the Redskins? 66 percent of CBS viewers go after the Redskins? Dan Marino says Bill Cowher ain’t gonna go for the Redskins? Heath Shuler has MVP award taken away from him by Politico? Ethics panel still gunning for Shuler? Chest bumping on the sidelines can get you suspended?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Dan Marino Says the Redskins Won’t Land Anybody Like Bill Cowher?” »

Today’s the last day to enter Dan Snyder’s Cheerleader Pride Giveaway Contest! Tomorrow, folks at Snyder’s sportstalker, WTEM, will hold the drawing to find out the five 25-to-54-year-old males who’ve won the right to have Redskins cheerleaders — armed with sponges and buckets and zero self-esteem — come over and scrub down their cars.

Come on, pervs: Get your name in before it’s too late!

(’Course, this also means time is running out on Cheap Seats Daily’s ability to run everybody’s fave photo.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Does Dan Snyder’s vacation choice mean he’s met his Waterloo? Elba is nice this time of year? Somebody wrote something nice about Dan Snyder? Really? Was it accurate? Not really? Where’d David Donovan learn to fib? Dan Snyder’s poster confiscating binge was all a prank? Will anybody get a “Goofus and Gallant” reference?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Somebody Once Wrote a Nice Dan Snyder Story? Does It Hold Up? No?” »

In case you missed it: Rocken Rollen Stewart, who showed up at televised sporting events carrying a “John 3:16″ sign throughout the 1980s, had his sign removed from a Redskins game at RFK in 1984. So he sued.

And he won. But it took eight years before Stewart was told by the courts he could carry his sign into the stadium here.

Times and venues have changed. It’s unclear if Rockin’ Rollen’s case will help victims of the Redskins latest purge. Will somebody who had their poster taken please sue Dan Snyder so we can find out?

***

Also, for the eating-disorder-looking print edition, I squeezed BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ for a few more drops. Completists will want this umpteenth revisitation upon the same story so they can see the only appearance of “oral-fecal” in a sentence. Kind of like getting the repackaged Elvis Costello’s Greatest Hits every three years, just for the remixed-again version of “Mystery Dance.”

***

David Alperin checks in with some more Dan Snyder weirdness.

Alperin was the first guy to tell me that Snyder changed the sign policy at FedExField. Before the Tampa Bay game, stadium guards confiscated a sign he made saying “Love the Redskins, Hate the Owner.”

(AFTER THE JUMP: Fake cheering at FedEx? You’re going to use “Douchewellian” again? AND the trademark sign? El Al disputes charges that its security is as Douchewellian as Dan Snyder’s? You’re going to promote the Great Dan Steinberg again? GEICO signs good, Snyder Sucks signs bad? Why would anybody go to Snyder’s “Night of the Quarterbacks”? Brett Haber plays the feud with his former boss?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Will ‘Dumb’ and ‘Dumber’ Shirts Be Allowed at Snyder’s ‘Night of Quarterbacks’?” »

When the Great Dan Steinberg ran photos of the fanimosity at FedExField during the Tampa Bay game on his blog a few weeks ago, Dan Snyder told the paper to take the shots down. And the Washington Post complied quietly, removing the photos without any explanation to readers for the disappearance.

Snyder’s heavyhanded attempt at message killing, Douchewellian as it was, worked in the short term: The censorship of fans was treated as a non-story. (Well, OK: Almost a non-story.) And, as we’ve learned over time — Jeff George, Deion Sanders, Bruce Smith, etc… — Snyder only cares about the short term.

No doubt feeling empowered after the Post’s appeasement, Snyder’s behavior had grown insane by Monday’s game with the Eagles. And the once-burned Steinberg, who now buys tickets to the Redskins games to avoid the team’s new restrictions on his reporting, became a war reporter. He embedded himself with the insurgents that night, and has continued telling their tales.

The results have been gripping.

(AFTER THE JUMP: The lawyer who whupped the Redskins on the pedestrian ban thinks fans might have some more cases against Snyder? The Redskins have lost federal freedom of speech cases in the past? One small typo for a columnist, one giant slur of Dan Snyder’s legacy? Agent Zero is No. 1? The Wizards peak?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Snyder Overstepped Legal Authority While Suppressing Fanimosity?” »

Last night’s Redskins suckage was more of the whimpering than the banging variety. I’m burned out by the dramatic badness. It’s all been said. But I’ll say it all again, once more before apathy really sets in.

The Redskins stink. Like, really stink. Jason Campbell  stinks. Dan Snyder stinks. Oh my, does Dan Snyder stink.

Chris Cooley doesn’t stink. But his different sort of attention-deficit disorder, which has in the past led him to show the world his naughty bits and film himself burning cows, is maddening.

Last night his look-at-me!-look-at-me!-ADD caused Cooley to blonde his hair and leave his helmet off while the TV cameras rolled.

Then Cooley’s ankle rolled and he’s likely gone for 2009. Cooley had been quieter for a couple weeks, seemingly aware that it ain’t cool to be cute when his team was a national punchline. But then this. So the last image of Cooley this season will be him being carted off the field with his head glowing from all that bleach, looking sad and ridiculous all at once.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Dan Snyder’s jack-booted thugs were out AGAIN? It’s harder to get into a Skins game than an El Al jet? ESPN protects Dan Snyder? Snyder’s lonely? ESPN rejects Campbell? PG County lets the Redskins walk for BeerInTheBathroomsGate™? Two free toppings? Have I died and gone to PapaJohn’s?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Two Free Toppings From PapaJohn’s Ain’t Fulfilling?” »

The Washington Post says fans are running away from the Redskins this season. The Redskins say everything about the team’s relationship with the community is the same.

Well, almost everything’s the same: “I think the relentless negative coverage in the Washington Post is a real difference from previous years,” Skins spokesman David Donovan told the Post’s Steve Hendrix. “But in terms of the way our actual fans are behaving, we don’t see any difference.”

Wait, the going’s getting tough, and the Redskins are going after the Washington Post? Novel!

(AFTER THE JUMP: How come Dan Snyder doesn’t make Dan Hellie wear licensed Redskins gear? Black Sunday for Redskins 2009 opponents? Dan Snyder curse rubs off on Tom Cruise, too? Would you go to a Million Fan March to protest the state of the Skins? Would you give money to buy an anti-Dan Snyder Metro ad? Heath Shuler gets back on the field? Gary Clark gets his RFK party, sorta?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Jim Zorn Tells WRC Newsman/Redskins’ PR Man Dan Hellie He’s the Relayer?” »

Another Redskins game that ain’t a sellout. Another Redskins game that won’t be blacked out.

The graphic above is from the latest installment of the now regular email blasts that precede every home game.

But no matter what your head tells you, remember: Dan Snyder says the Redskins have a waiting list of “over 200,000″ names of folks who want tickets but can’t get them.

And remember this, as your watching the Skins/Eagles game on local TV and see a sea of empty seats: The NFL has a blackout policy!

What’s going on around here is sorta amazing, ain’t it? A “Monday Night Football” game against the hated Eagles — a rematch of the Body Bag Game opponents! — and Skins management feels it has to lie (”visiting team returns,” “limited number,” etc.) to try to get folks to take tickets?

How low has Snyder taken the operation? Well, if the Redskins were a dance, you could lay the limbo pole on the floor and Snyder could still sneak his franchise under it.

***

Vinny Cerrato opened his radio station on Dan Snyder’s sportstalker, WTEM, declaring he wanted to be “perfectly clear” about some things: Jim Zorn is the Skins head coach for the rest of the season “and hopefully into the future.” Sure, “perfectly clear” is a Nixon tag line. And Cerrato sounded crazy while he delivered it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Snyder doesn’t talk to the media? Did anybody tell the New York Times? Snyder tells Brian Mitchell he’s sorry? Brian Mitchell believes it? Debbie Yow wants you to call her Dr. Yow? She’s a doctor? Really? Charlie Brotman can tell stories? Ron Jaworski doesn’t blame Jim Zorn, either? Why do races get such scary names?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Jim Zorn Will Definitely Be the Head Coach, Hopefully?” »

In case you missed it: For the malnourished print edition, now available in several dozen boxes around the metroplex, I reminisce about the Day Dan Snyder Tried Crushing the Message.

Redskins security seized anti-Snyder paraphernalia at the FedExField gates before the Tampa Bay game a few weeks ago, without any honorable explanation for the seizures. The guards’ heavy-handed tactics kept shots of bags on people’s heads and “Snyder Sucks!” posters off the Fox airwaves for a few hours on that Sunday afternoon, but Snyder’s strategy has otherwise totally backfired. Those whose agit-prop props were taken by Snyder’s jack-booted thugs or otherwise censored got really motivated, and are now among the leaders of some very organized campaigns to demonstrate against the Dan Snyder Administration on a much bigger stage: “Monday Night Football.”

***

The Third Coming? Mike Florio, the one-man TMZ of the NFL, rumors that Joe Gibbs will return to the Redskins to save Dan Snyder again.

The Gibbs rumors might take some steam off Snyder for yesterday’s Steve Largent blasts. Largent, a former U.S. Congressman (awesome trivia about Largent: he lost his last election because Oklahoma voters were outraged by his stance against… cockfighting!), told a Seattle radio audience that Snyder is humiliating his buddy and onetime Seahawks teammate simply to avoid paying him the $6 million remaining on the head coach’s contract. Largent says Zorn told him that Skins officials, presumably meaning either Vinny Cerrato or/and Dan Snyder, tried bullying Zorn into quitting by waving a copy of his contract in his face, and repeating the clauses that state that wholesale subservience is required or the team can fire him for cause. That sounds unbelievable, unless you’ve heard several dozen similar accounts of bizarre and mean behavior from Snyder from former employees.

Snyder was seen yesterday at practice talking to Zorn. Standing side by side, Snyder came up to Zorn’s sternum. You know Zorn would like to go to the top of the boss’ head with an elbow drop. But in his press conference after practice, Zorn simply said, “I have to hold back on any feelings.”

God god. Forget a new set of eyes. Jim Zorn needs to grow a new set of balls.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Doc Walker puts a happy face on Skins’ budding playcalling disaster? Sherm Lewis looks like Chief Zee without the headgear? Sam Elliott shills for horse racing? Horse racing leads to domestic bliss? Where’s Karl Swanson when you need him?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Will the Third Coming of Joe Gibbs Keep You from Wearing a Bag?” »

I’m hearing that yesterday ESPN jumped on the BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ bandwagon with a story of its own. I knew this was viral…

***

You don’t need to read the Washington Post;s redesigned weather page to forecast the perfect shitstorm that is heading for Raljon on Monday evening.

The rest of the paper has all the evidence. There’s no section of the Post that doesn’t hold horrible news for Dan Snyder.

Mike Wise fills up the front page of Style with a profile of The Man Who Would Be Snyder, John Kent Cooke.

Some of the bitterness from Cooke, whose birthright to become owner of the Redskins was never exercised:

“Dan Snyder destroyed the reputation of this franchise,” Cooke said. “I sure as hell don’t like the way he gutted the organization after we left. And he commercialized the Redskins like my father would have never commercialized the Redskins. People brought cushions and pennants to the games. You know how they got those? My father gave them out at fan appreciation days.”

Cooke also took issue with recent controversy over tickets. “Suing season ticket holders?” he said, incredulously. “My God, it’s embarrassing. We would have never done such a thing.”

(AFTER THE JUMP: Mike Wise dusts off Bobby Beathard to throw some jabs at Snyder? The Post’s Business section tells readers that Snyder’s a lousy businessman, just for the hell of it? The bingo caller line, again? The bingo caller last called plays for the Detroit Lions? How much would you have to get paid to go to a Redskins game? Eastern gets its first and last win? )

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: Even Bobby Beathard Goes After Dan Snyder?” »

As if vending beside urinals at Redskins games wasn’t viral enough: Jennifer Donelan of WJLA put BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ on her station’s evening news, and even took a few seconds to give Washington City Paper kudos for blowing the lid off Snyder’s newest revenue stream.

Here’s Donelan’s WJLA piece. Wait til the 50-second mark. Don’t take a pee break or beer break or both, or you’ll miss my work. And remember: TV puts on 10 pounds, and I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately.

Otherwise, I think I nailed my line. Thinking ahead: “I’d like to thank-thank…both my readers-readers…and the Academy-Academy…”

Reading between the lines of Donelan’s copy, it looks like the Redskins fired the beer man caught on tape dispensing beer in an environment teeming with second-hand poop. A commenter on City Desk yesterday wrote that he was a vendor at FedExField, and he found the bathroom vending “disgusting.” But he warned Redskins patrons who are “worried about sanitation” that they should really “stay far away from the lemonade.”

Yucky!

***

Sticking with local media, via DCRTV: Two more guys fired by Dan Snyder will have a radio show to bash their former boss. WTOP will give John Riggins and Frank Herzog at least a tryout for a weekly show called “Ask Riggo.” (The first installment of Riggins/Herzog is going off the air as we type. “We should do this again,” Riggins said to Herzog at sign-off.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Does everybody who despises Dan Snyder get a radio show? Will Laveranues Coles get a program? Timmy Smith’s out of jail? Dan Snyder benched Jason Campbell? Jeff George who? Dan Snyder will put Jason Campbell back on the field Monday night?  Night of Quarterbacks what?)

Read More “Cheap Seats Daily: WJLA Makes BeerInTheBathroomsGate™ Even More Viral?” »