California's crusading for tougher vehicle emission rules is often credited with raising the bar for a new national auto emissions standard. Will the same be true for TVs? Or will the ban just ruin some people's enjoyment of big-screen rituals such as Super Bowl Sunday?

Yesterday, beer lovers were devastated to hear global warming is hurting beer production. While that news was bad, the Washington Post followed up with a dispatch today suggesting that we can solve global warming if we stop having kids.

Put the two news items together in time-honored “news analysis” tradition and what do you get? A solution! To assure a lasting supply of quality beer, forget about having that The Waltons-style family you were considering. In fact, better not too have any of the little darlings, according to a crack team of researchers at the London School of Economics.

That’s right, if we stopped having kids, we’d pretty much wipe up the climate change problem, according to the U.K. study. And, we’d presumably still be able to drive around in Hummers, live in sprawling suburban McMansions, shop until we drop, and spend every evening at the pub - mugs of a top of the line pilsner in each hand.

I’m not making this stuff up, I swear.

Scientists in the Czech Republic say they think warmer temperatures caused by climate change are hurting the quality of Saaz hops used to make celebrated pilsner beers such as Urquell and Gambrinus. And, they aren’t the only ones claiming that global warming is taking a toll on the brewskies. Last year, Australian scientists predicted that climate change will drive up beer prices by making it more expensive to grow malting barely.

On the baby carbon front, the U.K. researchers aren’t the first to calculate how many pounds of greenhouse gases each child adds to the world. Check out these fun facts compiled by Mother Jones. 

In synthesis: If you want to keep drinking good beer, forget about having those kiddies!

There’s a definite gross-out factor in letting the doggies in for a dip. Though I’m not quite sure who should be more grossed out - the pooches or the people - particularly given the footage of a happy-go-lucky mutt named Taxi Dog lapping up the pool water. Decide for yourself: We’ve got photos and video courtesy of Wayan Vota and the Petworth Listserv. Thanks Wayan!

The Food and Drug Administration may launch its own nutritional label in response to Big Food’s “Smart Choices” logo that has begun arriving in grocery stores on boxes of Froot Loops and other foods that are high in sugar, salt and fat, according to the New York Times.

Kelloggs, Kraft and PepsiCo are among the foodmakers backing the initiative. But F.D.A. officials aren't the only ones that find it unpalatable. Nutritionists and food activists have also panned the labeling program for slapping its big green checkmark on items of questionable nutritional value; Each box of Froot Loops, for instance, is 41 percent sugar by product weight, according to the Times.

I occasionally think it might be a good idea to create a kit and come up with a plan since we live in a place terrorists most likely dream about bombing, burning, crashing into, or … well, I think you get the picture. And, now with Swine Flu poised for a comeback, there seems even more reason to stockpile the canned food and water, though I don’t know where one is supposed to put all those rations in the average D.C. apartment. You’d need a separate storage unit. And, wouldn't that defeat the purpose? But some provisions seem appropriate.

Anyone know where I can get one of those face masks?

The indoor pool at the University of the District of Columbia was closed Mar. 4 “for leaks,” according to DOH spokesperson Dena Iverson. Apparently, water has been seeping out of the pool and into the ground for years prior to the shutdown, says UDC spokesperson Alan Etter, who says school officials have hired a contractor and hope to reopen the pool next spring.

“For years, they’d patch it,” he says. Now, “they just want to fix it right.”

The other four pools closed this year were inside apartment complexes, and the managers are none too eager to talk about their public shaming.

Eliot Bernold, manager at Brookland Manor, blames bureaucratic red tape for the June 25 closing at his complex on 14th Street NE near Rhode Island Avenue. 

“It was one day when there was a bureaucratic issue that was resolved within a few days,” says Bernold, before adding testily, “I have no more comment.”

Bernold was downright cordial, however, compared to the response from the Capitol Park Plaza apartments in Southwest, where manger Pat Rooks hung up the phone after insisting her pool was the victim of false allegations.

“There was nothing wrong with the pool. Someone made an accusation so the pool was closed for the day. But they reopened it,” Rooks says.

We’re still waiting to hear back from Iverson to confirm Rooks’ and Bernold’s characterizations of those two closings. About 48 hours after we first starting pestering DOH to check its records, Iverson said the department was still “investigating.” She did not respond to follow up question inquiring as to what there was to investigate since the closures took place some time ago.

Meanwhile, managers at two ritzier complexes---Vaughan Place at McLean Gardens and Market Square West---did not return phone calls.

Vaughan Place, which has a Web site prominently displaying a photo of a guy diving into clear blue pool water, was closed on July 21, according to the health department. Officials shut down the pool at Market Square West, near the Mall, back in June and still haven’t signed off on its reopening, according to Iverson.

Even though the school's environmental record doesn't suck quite as much this year, it hasn't exactly entered the “ivy league,” so to speak, of eco-friendly campuses. It is now ranked 81 out 135 universities around the country; hardly a passing score even with grade inflation so common at colleges these day.

Still, the Sierra Club’s third annual Cool Schools report didn’t even consider other D.C. colleges such as Georgetown University, American University and the University of the District of Columbia. So, there is no way to establish the true pecking order, environmentally-speaking, of D.C.  higher-learning institutions. The only other area schools included in the ranking also received uninspiring grades: The University of Maryland beat G.W. with a 67, while George Mason University brought up the rear with an 89.

Check out this set of instructions for building your own wind turbine. OK, most of us aren’t going to rush out and erect one of these above our row house or apartment building. But isn’t it nice to know you could?

The NRDC found the nation’s beaches are befouled by raw sewerage and floating debris that is not just seriously gross but a serious health hazard. This is the 19th year that the Washington-based environmental group has published its annual seaside report card, and things aren't getting any sunnier. For the fourth year in a row, it tallied more than 20,000 closing and advisory days at popular beaches around the country.

Public health officials say swimming with sewage can make you sick and sometimes kill you. The list of waterborne illnesses includes stomach flu, skin rashes, pinkeye, ear, nose and throat problems, dysentery, hepatitis, respiratory ailments and neurological disorders, according to the NRDC. The group's advice: To minimize risk, don't go in the water after heavy rains when raw sewerage and polluted storm runoff is often swept out to sea. 

But the report also has a tiny bit of good news: Out of 200 beaches around the country, only about a dozen received top marks based on five water quality and testing measures. We’ve got one of these “five star” beaches within driving distance: Ocean City in Worcester, Maryland.

To read the press release and full report, click here. Here is a USA Today story too.

Beyond the obvious and very icky implications, the feds are wringing their hands because the lack of hand washing can lead to the spread of food-borne diseases such as hepatitis A and E. coli.

Their particular form of protest comes from poking fun at serious issues such as world trade rules, corporate greed and the human role in global warming. And, they are so good at it that the suits usually don’t know the joke is on them until it’s way beyond face-saving time.

They’ve pinioned officials at the World Trade Organization, FEMA and Halliburton. In my book, I included their 2007 antics at a Canadian oil convention. Impersonating executives from ExxonMobil and the National Petroleum Council, The Men had a roomful of industry types on their feet and solemnly lighting candles made from what they claimed to be the next big renewable energy source: Vivoleum, a “fossil fuel” supposedly made from the human flesh of people killed in hurricanes, floods and other global warming-related disasters.

Given what's on TV this time of year, there are many worse ways to spend a Monday night. But even before seeing it, I have a complaint for the filmmakers: the title. The Yes Men certainly make it more fun to fret about corporate corruption and lack of political will, but change the world? At best, they call attention to its many dysfunctions.

1. Chile used almost 350 times more antibiotics in its farmed salmon in 2008 than Norway, its chief competitor.
2. Chile is the biggest supplier of salmon supplier to the United States. So, if you’ve purchased the pretty pinkish fillets lately, they’ve likely come from Chile, though the story does note that Safeway and Wal-Mart, have reduced purchases of Chilean salmon due to concern about the fish illnesses that require producers there to use so many antibiotics.
3. Some of the antibiotics used in Chile are not approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

They’ve been rocanroleando – rocking – for decades. And, for this weekend only, you can catch performance artist Quique Avilés, backed by the local band Machetres, in a unique combination of the history and music. El Canuto del Rock is a one-act play featuring Don Amadeo Martinez, a campesino-turned-DJ, who transforms a radio station deep inside rural El Salvador into an outpost of Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin and The Beatles. 

Avilés, a Salvadoran native who wrote the script, has been producing thought-provoking theater and poetry in the District for decades. This time around, he offers some backstory on our local Salvadoran community. But don’t go for the schooling! Avilés delivers a belly-achingly funny performance accompanied by the hard-rocking covers of Machetres, our own Latino version of an almost-famous rock band. Besides rocanroleando around town, Machetres has played with Café Tabuca, Fugazi and Molotov. Interesting bit of trivia: The band is named for the machetres, a machete tied to a rifle that became a weapon of choice during Central America’s civil wars that brought D.C. its first wave of Salvadoran residents in the 1980s.

I’ll admit I’m a fan of rocanrol, a gusto developed during my rookie foreign correspondent days in Mexico City, where I covered rock bands during lulls in the breaking news. I’ve also written about Latino rockers in this country. 

But you don’t need to know the history or even the language to enjoy El Canuto del Rock. Like its story, the play unfolds bilingually. While it helps to know some Spanish – particularly to pick up on the many marijuana jokes – subtitles scroll across a screen above the stage. 

There are only two more shows – tonight and tomorrow night – at el Teatro Hispano GALA in Columbia Heights. For $20 a ticket, it’s money well spent. So, find out for yourself how well roc + rol go together. 

Come to think of it, meatloaf and guacamole might not be a bad combination either.

According to the latest NHTSA roadside survey, drivers caught with blood alcohol concentrations above the legal limit fell to 2.2 percent in 2007, compared to 7.5 percent in 1975. 

Until 2007, the feds were only equipped to measure boozing - 0.08 blood alcohol concentrations or higher mean you are legally drunk. But now, the NHTSA has spiffy new screening techniques that detect drug use too. Of the nighttime weekend drivers tested in 2007, 16.3 percent were on drugs – mostly marijuana, with cocaine in second place, followed by prescription pills, the NHTSA says.

Yeah, but how scientific is a survey of 300 stops nationwide?  What about all those others who weren’t caught up in the dragnets, would they be more likely to be drugged or smashed? And, the NHTSA has segregated out the "nighttime weekend" druggies, while the boozing data apparently includes stops at all times of day and night. Perhaps the announcement's true intent is to put drug users on warning that toking and tweaking no longer goes undetected.