Check out this epistolary documentation of one man’s attempt to pay his utility bill with a drawing of a spider. Now that I know simplistic sketches suffice as payment, I will never call Pepco, WASA, or Comcast regarding bills again.

For those of you following the rash of shootings in Petworth this weekend, Police Chief Cathy Lanier left this post on the MPD 4th District message board at 7:59 PM — less than a half hour after rounds were fired on the 800 block of Crittenden St., NW:

Let me assure everyone that this weekends violence in Petworth will not be tolerated. Since Friday, based on a number of other indicators that led up to this violence, we have redirected a number of citywide resources to attempt to prevent and curb the violence in Petworth. I have citywide vice units, warrant squads, intelligence units, and many more officers teaming up to address this recent spike. We will not stop until the individuals responsible for these senseless acts are brought into custody. In addition to the citywide resources, Commander Brown is ensuring we maintain a saturation of Fourth District patrols in the neighborhood. We will get this under control.

I ask anyone with information on this violence to please contact use on 202-727-9099 or 1-888-919-CRIME (2746).

The reference to “a number of other indicators that led up to this violence” certainly raises some questions about the nature of these incidents. I can say that there has been a visibly increased police presence in Petworth since Friday night, particularly near the crime scenes.

So far, no one from MPD has been able to comment on whether the three shootings we’ve reported are related, and if so, to what extent.

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According to a message that went out to the MPD-4D listserv this morning from Lt. James Cullen, there was a fatal shooting last night on the 4500 block of Georgia Ave. NW around 9:00 p.m:

On Saturday, Nov. 8th, officers responded to the front of 4506 Georgia Ave., NW, for a shooting victim at about 9:00 pm. A black male subject was found suffering from multiple gunshots. He was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead. The 4500 block of Georgia Avenue will be closed to vehicular and pedestrian traffic through some of the morning hours on Sunday so that evidence technicians can finish processing the scene.

Anyone with any information about this case is asked to call 1-888-919-CRIME.

This after two men were found shot on Friday night not too far away, near the corner of Marlboro Pl. and Taylor St., NW. According to the MPD, both of those victims were in local hospitals as of this morning: one in critical condition, and the other stable.

If and when more details about either of these incidents come in, we will keep you updated.

Has anyone else noticed that the birds in this city have been acting rather strangely of late?  In the last few weeks, wherever I happen to venture after work, the trees seem to shake wildly with flocks of excited birds. I’m talking about excessive chirping, wing-fluttering, branch-vibrating, leave-falling action, all of which contributes to a palpable and unnerving sense of foreboding in the air.

I’ve seen this phenomenon all across town–from the waterfront to Farragut to Petworth–although largely confined to the hours between 6 and 8 p.m.  The other day, one bird went so far as to dive out of a tree and nearly collide with my face as I rode down Princeton Avenue on my bicycle.  

I’m telling you, there’s some seriously sinister stuff going on in the airspace these days.  

I am convinced that it has something to do with the markets.  With global warming confusing birds’ migratory habits, I think they have turned to the Dow for some sort of guidance.  This is obviously ill-advised, but I suppose birds, not unlike many human beings, just don’t know any better.

Yesterday, at her fifth annual Blessing of the Animals in Frederick, Pastor Andrea Ernest advised the members of the Bethany Lutheran Church that during these dismal financial times, we humans need more than ever to emulate our furry and feathered brethren in the Animal Kingdom.

“Animals don’t care how the stock market closed today,” she said in front of a congregation of canines. “Thank God for their place in our lives, which would be poor indeed without them.”

Fine, Pastor Ernest, I see what you’re saying — animals are swell, God bless the critters, and darnit they’re cute too! — but if they are so carefree, if they’re such good role models, if they truly don’t give a hoot or a tweet about the global economy — then why is it that every evening during the last month, as one financial calamity has tumbled on top of another, shortly after the stock market closes our winged comrades have routinely gone berserk in the branches?  It’s as if the floor of the stock exchange has been hoisted into the trees, and when I hear the ominous Hitchcockian rattling at dusk each night, I can’t help but think it a harbinger of some sort of apocalyptic event — financial, environmental, ornithological, or, God help us, even worse.

According to Mary Kane at the Washington Independent, over the past few weeks a deeply disturbing letter has been distributed to residents of Clarendon and Lyon Park who display “Obama for President” signs on their lawns.

This piece of correspondence attempts to make the case that “ostentatious support” of Barack Obama is an act of subconscious racism on behalf of the “Dearest neighbors” to which it is addressed. It goes on to compare Obama supporters to “those who pretend not to stare at an inter-racial couple,” to alert the recipient that “voting for Obama does not absolve you from from racism, it may even confirm it,” and then makes an exhortation to “cleanse your soul of the last vestiges of racism,” presumably by not supporting Obama.

Against my gut instinct, I have decided to refrain from dignifying this letter with any sort of impassioned declamation. Not to mention that the logic, aside from being reprehensible, is damn near incomprehensible. (The punctuation and hyphenation are equally so.)

Just read the letter. Whatever side of the aisle you sit on, I imagine you will find it terribly deflating.

Kane says that the neighborhood listserv was overwhelmed with inquiries as to who was responsible for the letter — to the point where the moderator closed the thread. I am interested to know if this mailing has made it anywhere other than the neighborhoods Kane mentions. If you’ve heard of any “Dearest neighbors” receiving such a thing outside of Clarendon or Lyon Park, please let us know in the comments.

Yes, that’s right–you kept putting it off, putting it off, and now you’ve only got three days to get to all those shows you meant to see. Or maybe you never meant to see any shows at all. Maybe you were just lying to yourself. Whatever, here’s a roundup of some recommendations from the Fringe & Purge blog (in addition to the ones I listed here last week). And if you’ve got any of your own, put ‘em in the comments. Because we value everyone’s opinion.

Prototype 373-G
Trey Graham says:
See it if: You’re attracted to frivolity for its own sake — or you’re an sucker for tight ensemble work.
Skip it if: Whimsy makes you queasy, and no quantity of stagecraft will settle your stomach.

Born Normal
Glen Weldon says:
See it if: Your bookshelf leans more Chris Adrian and Kevin Brockmeier than Clive Cussler and Nicholas Sparks.
Skip it if: In your estimation, the complex psycho-social terrain of the Normal-Child-in-Wacky-Family dynamic has already been mapped, and definitively so, by The Munsters.

Slave Narratives Revisited
I say:
See it if: You like stuff that’s good.
Skip it if: You dislike stuff that’s good.

Carnal Node
Brett Abelman says:
See it if: You’ve never seen anything with more risk – and possibility of reward – than a bar band.
Skip it if: You don’t go listen to music live unless you can already sing along to the CD.

Children of Medea
Sheffy Gordon says:
See it if: You love your mother.
Skip it if: You’re a budding female playwright and dramatic solo performer but you can’t handle new competition in town.

Week one of the Capital Fringe Festival has come to a close, and we’ve reviewed 35 shows and counting on the Fringe & Purge blog. There have been some gems, but there has also been some, well, crap. As you head into a weekend packed with more theater than the frickin’ City Dionysia, here’s a smattering of the best and worst Fringe offerings we’ve seen thus far:

FUEGO
7(x1) Samurai
Trey Graham says:
See it if: You grok that, far from being an outdated discipline to sneer at, the rich nonverbal language that is mime informs contemporary entertainments from Broadway’s Lion King to Pixar’s Wall-E.
Skip it if: You’ve got better things to do than be charmed by a witty concept and a first-rate performer.

The Chalk Boy
Glen Weldon says:
See it if: Um… you have a pulse? Look, I got nothing: Just see it, is all.
Skip it if: You were totally on your high school’s Spirit Week Committee, and Crazy Hat Day? Your idea.

MANIFESTO!
I say:
See it if: You’re bored; you’re excited; you’re sad; you’re silly; you’re angry; you’re happy; you’re rich; you’re poor; you’re communist; you’re magical realist; you’re on the verge of death; you’re a newborn; you’re sick; you’re sullen; you’re sullied; you’re Santa Claus….
Skip it if: dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada.

Mothers of Invention
Tabitha Kenlon says:
See it if: You still have nightmares about Olestra.
Skip it if: The stuff George Jetson ate always looked good to you.

Black Jew Dialogues
Sheffy Gordon says:
See it if: You liked Avenue Q but didn’t understand that the “monsters” were people of color… or if you want to learn how to wear a yarmulke on a Fro.
Skip it if: You’ve got something else so important that you can’t take an hour from your busy schedule…I’m not your mother so I can’t tell you what to do, but you’re only hurting yourself (and you’ll be haunted by Jewish guilt for the rest of your life).

After the jump, the stuff you may want to avoid.

Read More “Fringe & Purge Roundup” »

What do smoking a cigarette outside the 9:30 Club and the recent “Access Hollywood” interview with Barack Obama’s family have in common? Read former City Paper editor David Carr’s column in today’s New York Times to find out–a good-humored look at what he calls “presidential blowback” (with a CP shout-out to boot).

The third annual Capital Fringe Festival opens tonight with a slate of 120 productions over 18 days at 20 venues in theaters, bars, tents and defunct Italian restaurants around town.  City Paper will be covering the chaos on its Fringe & Purge blog, with veteran critics like Trey Graham and Glen Weldon, online producer Ted Scheinman and myself, as well as a phalanx of guest bloggers who will help us report back on the good, the bad, and the ugly of this year’s festival.  

I’m actually at Fort Fringe as I type–formerly known as A.V. Ristorante Italiano–which the festival folks have artfully transformed into their guerilla headquarters, complete with offices in a crumbling bar, a two-tiered tent deemed the Baldacchino in the parking lot, and a permanent black box theater in what used to be a meat-curing pantry.  I will be blogging live from here until the shows begin this evening–so if you want to know if the toilets will be working in time for the opening night party later, you know where to look for updates.

Oh yeah, there’s a party: 9 PM at Fort Fringe, 607 New York Avenue NW.  But really this festival is all about the performances, so turn off your computers, get off your rolling chairs, and go check out a show or two or twenty.  Then visit Fringe & Purge and let everyone know what you thought.  

I just got hit by a car. I was biking across Euclid at 16th Street NW, and everything seemed to be in order: I was in the crosswalk, Euclid had a red light, I had a walk signal. Prime crossing time, I thought, dutifully looking both ways. Nevertheless, a bouncy old Cadillac, which was stopped at the intersection long before I started crossing, still managed to lurch forward just as I rolled in front of it, thereby hitting me.

It’s not a huge deal. I didn’t fall over; I didn’t lose consciousness; I simply extricated myself from his grill and made my way to the corner.

What surprised me most was my own reaction to the incident. I’ve never been hit by a car before, but had you posited the scenario to me in the hypothetical, I would have certainly imagined myself enraged and vengeful. This morning, however, once the hypothetical became a gruesome reality, I found myself timid and awkward. As I waited at the corner for the light to change, I could not bring myself to make eye contact with the driver who had just hit me. Even though I was in the right of way, I still hung my head in a backwards kind of shame. It felt like the moment after a drunken hookup at a bar that both parties regret and neither wants to talk about.

So, in order to take my mind off a mildly throbbing right hamstring, I wonder: was I wrong? Should I have put this irresponsible motorist in his place? Pounded his hood? Kicked his windshield? Twisted his tailpipe?

And the question that is truly pestering me: if I, the hapless victim, was catapulted into such a moral quandary after this encounter, what is going through the driver’s head? Anything? Anything at all?

On June 4, the North Columbia Heights Civic Association held a meeting regarding the park at 11th and Monroe. All were welcome, and all were heard, as evidenced by this item in the very comprehensive minutes: “Anonymous resident (self-described drunk who hangs out in the park): people in the park aren’t that bad, come on into the park, we welcome kids, we welcome the church.”–Brian Reed

There was a block party on Pennsylvania Avenue this morning–complete with confetti cannons, a very smart bald eagle, several acrobatic roller-skating newsies, and a bevy of young women with televisions affixed to their brassieres–all in celebration of the long-awaited opening of the Newseum.

One moment of irony stuck out amid the fanfare, when a man handed several schoolchildren signs expressing opposition to the Iraq war. The kids displayed them proudly–that is, until a woman who seemed to be their chaperone brusquely confiscated the anti-war signage.

“You can’t give signs like this to kids,” she growled, and tossed the posters aside.

The kids looked disappointed. I comforted them, and told them that she had no right to take the signs away. She scowled at me. The scene was brought into vivid relief by the 50-ton marble tablet directly behind the children and their ward, on which is engraved none other than the First Amendment.

For more pictures of the Newseum’s opening, along with some words from Gene Policinski (vice president of the First Amendment Center), check out the slideshow below.