To report part of "The Watchmen," this week's cover story examining the uselessness of the D.C. Police Department's surveillance cameras, I went to the Major Case/Unsolved Homicides page of the department's Web site to check out the addresses of unsolved murders from 2007 and 2008.

Then I went to the Locations of Neighborhood Cameras page to compare the addresses of cameras to the addresses of murders. I found eight unsolved murders that had occurred within one block of a camera in the last two years.

See for yourself!

A new ban on single beer sales took effect in many parts of the District yesterday. I'm super sour-grapes about it, because sometimes you just want one, and now, if you are in that situation, you are forced to buy an immoderate quantity. Nothing's worse than being forced to consume six beers when you just want a single beer.

One of the corner stores near my east Capitol Hill apartment is seeking out a middle ground. Behold, the 3-pack:

Read More "Single Beers Out; 3-Packs In" »

Tens of thousands of people showed up to glimpse president-elect Barack Obama at several stops along today's train trip to Washington, but will anybody bother to show up for the actual inauguration?
Read More "Expert Predicts Low Turnout for Inauguration" »

I heard what sounded like a nasty fight outside my apartment in Southeast D.C. today. I looked out my bedroom window and saw three boys punching and grappling each other. It was really violent. I hustled toward the door so I could go out there and tell them to knock it off, but the moment I stepped outside...
Read More "Sister Act" »

Shawntaye Debrew called me up tonight to say she'd read "In Loco Parentis," my long, long story about her. She wanted to tell me she's been off weed for about a month, and that she got herself a more aggressive lawyer to help her win custody of her two kids, Paris and London.

"I know if I’m clean they’ll give me my kids back," she says.

She said she wanted to see what people are saying about her, so I emailed the link and listened to Shawntaye read aloud the mostly anonymous comments on the bottom of the page.
Read More "Reading the Comments with Shawntaye" »

It is currently Christmas Eve in Washington! Savor the moment by listening to this song, "Christmas Eve In Washington," by Maura Sullivan.

Sullivan wrote this diddy right around when I was born, and I've never missed a Christmas Eve in Washington...but I'd never heard the tune before this year!

WTF

This is an excellent song.

The fictional author of a Dec. 10 op-ed in the Onion writes about his elaborate plan to exterminate mice in his kitchen. He's so crazy that he set up a decoy mouse and a video camera "to capture the remorse" of the vermin when he catches them.

What's really weird about this is that my real-life friend Tony already did this exact thing, in real life, and started a website about it on Nov. 21. City Desk linked to the mousecapades on Dec. 9.

"What the hell," says Tony, reached by telephone this morning for a reaction to the Onion story. He says that soon after he started his website, a friend who'd seen it told him he should write for the Onion. He thought that was a ridiculous idea: "Who writes about mice like that?"

I don't think Tony's story inspired the Onion's story, or that the Onion even borrowed a few details from Tony's website. But this isn't a coincidence, either. This is bigger than the Onion. This is a cosmic joke on Tony. It's a prank of celestial proportions. It's a higher power toying with Tony just like Tony is playing with the mice in his kitchen.

Maybe this is just a warning, and now Tony must either repent or start watching out for elaborate traps, decoy women, etc. Either way, keep it right here on City Desk for continued coverage of this ominous tale...

Photos courtesy The Onion and Tony

My insane friend Tony is waging war against a mouse. He set up a series of elaborate traps and motion-activated surveillance cameras to catch the varmint on the stove. It's pretty weird. And pretty great!

Start with Chapter 1, "First Contact," and click NEXT to follow the demented tale from there.

All my friends keep asking me, "Arthur, why do you say you'll never eat another chicken sandwich from Subway?"

I frequent all the cheap sandwich shops near my downtown corporate office. Yesterday I wanted an empanada and beans & rice from Julia's, but they weren't selling beans that day. So, since lunch was a bust from the start, I decided to cut my losses and go for a cheap $5 footlong sandwich from Subway.

I now question whether this is ever a good choice.
Read More "Completely Frivolous Blog Post About Subway Sandwiches" »

According to the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics, 34 people voted for a write-in candidate in ANC 6B08 yesterday. That might mean 34 people voted for Arthur Delaney, the pro-single-beers candidate.

Unfortunately for single beers, over 800 people voted for four-term incumbent Neil Glick. He sent an email bragging about it to his family and friends with a little note to Arthur Delaney at the bottom.
Read More "Delaney Loses Bigtime; Single Beers DOOMED" »

From the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics website: Incumbent Neil Glick has 39 votes. "Write In, if any" has two votes...only one of three precincts reporting.

This afternoon Southeast Capitol Hill resident Arthur Delaney kicked off his write-in campaign for a spot on the local advisory neighborhood commission. Delaney, who is me, is campaigning entirely on a pro-single-beers platform for 6B08.

Lately, the local political establishment is united in its insistence that corner stores not sell single cans or bottles of beer and malt liquor. Delaney has two simple questions:

1. What is a person supposed to do if he or she wants a beer but can't afford a six pack?
2. What if a person just wants one beer?

The answer to these questions is that a person who has ever been or ever will be in either situation must vote for Arthur Delaney in 6B08 tomorrow. Arthur Delaney has the necessary maverick qualities to begin to reverse the nannyish tide that will outlaw single sales in early 2009.

After the jump, more details, plus Arthur Delaney's first campaign video.

Read More "Last-Minute ANC Write-In Campaign Announced at Last Minute!" »

Yesterday a Superior Court judge denied a request by the D.C. Attorney General's office to seal exhibits entered into public record by two UDC professors as part of a FOIA lawsuit. The professors sued for the Department of Corrections' emergency plans at D.C. Jail, the city said releasing them would cause a terrorist attack, and then, after it turned out you could get the withheld document from the department's own website via Google, the District government demanded that the court force the professors not to tell anybody.

This absurd FOIA battle was the subject of a Sep. 22 City Paper story. The document is no longer directly accessible from the D.C. government's website, but please feel free to download it from the Washington City Paper's website.

The D.C. Jail went into lockdown the same day the story came out. The Department of Corrections insisted that the lockdown was routine and had nothing to do with the story, which was very alarming, because if the department believes its own statements about the security threat posed by the release of this document, wouldn't you expect them to put the jail in lockdown or something when the document was publicized? Or maybe in this case the most alarming thing would be to know the government believes its own statements.

The D.C. Jail is on lockdown. A Sept. 24 release announces that the Department of Corrections (DOC) has instituted a "non-emergency security procedure" at the D.C. Jail until October 6. Inmate movement is restricted. A sign on the visitor's door says the lockdown started on Sept. 22 and that no visitors are allowed.

DOC spokesman Anthony Diallo says there was no incident or emergency at the jail. He says the two-week lockdown has been planned for months and is in effect so guards can perform random checks for contraband items, cigarettes and stuff like that.

Legal visits are still allowed. A law student at the jail today said inmates reported that the lockdown is not routine--something happened inside the facility--but the student said client confidentiality disallowed providing further info on what happened.

Ann Keep, director of the nonprofit Visitors' Service Center, says lockdowns do happen from time to time, sometimes precipitated by violence in the facility, but as far as Keep has heard this one is routine.

On a completely unrelated note, the City Paper on Sept. 22 reported on the DOC's efforts to suppress an emergency planning document sought via the D.C. Freedom of Information Act. The department said releasing the document would "encourage an act of terrorism" at the jail. Turned out the thing was readily available from the department's own website all along.

Sometime over the weekend the plan finally disappeared from Google's easily accessible cache of PDF documents. Of course, you can still get the document from the Washington City Paper's website.

The autopsy report is in for Christopher Savage. According to the Office of the D.C. Medical Examiner, Savage died of "acute intoxication" from the combined effects of "Methadone, Morphine, Hydrocodone, Diazepam/Nordiazepam, Carisoprodol and Meprobamate." Manner of death: accident.

Savage died on his friends' couch in the early a.m. of April 19, a few hours after he'd been beaten by muggers in Adams Morgan and only five days after he'd left an unhappy life in California to make new friends and start a new job in D.C. Those last five days were the subject of an April 30 City Paper story.