Author Archive for Arthur Delaney

Bloody Murder Near Police Cameras

To report part of "The Watchmen," this week's cover story examining the uselessness of the D.C. Police Department's surveillance cameras, I went to the Major Case/Unsolved Homicides page of the department's Web site to check out the addresses of unsolved murders from 2007 and 2008.
Then I went to the Locations of Neighborhood Cameras page to [...]

Single Beers Out; 3-Packs In

A new ban on single beer sales took effect in many parts of the District yesterday. I'm super sour-grapes about it, because sometimes you just want one, and now, if you are in that situation, you are forced to buy an immoderate quantity. Nothing's worse than being forced to consume six beers when you just [...]

Expert Predicts Low Turnout for Inauguration

Tens of thousands of people showed up to glimpse president-elect Barack Obama at several stops along today's train trip to Washington, but will anybody bother to show up for the actual inauguration?

Sister Act

I heard what sounded like a nasty fight outside my apartment in Southeast D.C. today. I looked out my bedroom window and saw three boys punching and grappling each other. It was really violent. I hustled toward the door so I could go out there and tell them to knock it off, but the moment [...]

Reading the Comments with Shawntaye

Shawntaye Debrew called me up tonight to say she'd read "In Loco Parentis," my long, long story about her. She wanted to tell me she's been off weed for about a month, and that she got herself a more aggressive lawyer to help her win custody of her two kids, Paris and London.
"I know if [...]

Christmas Eve In Washington

It is currently Christmas Eve in Washington! Savor the moment by listening to this song, "Christmas Eve In Washington," by Maura Sullivan.
Sullivan wrote this diddy right around when I was born, and I've never missed a Christmas Eve in Washington...but I'd never heard the tune before this year!
This is an excellent song.

Of Mice and Men: Onion Op-Ed Mimics Real-Life Mousecapades

The fictional author of a Dec. 10 op-ed in the Onion writes about his elaborate plan to exterminate mice in his kitchen. He's so crazy that he set up a decoy mouse and a video camera "to capture the remorse" of the vermin when he catches them.
What's really weird about this is that my real-life [...]

Man Vs. Mouse

My insane friend Tony is waging war against a mouse. He set up a series of elaborate traps and motion-activated surveillance cameras to catch the varmint on the stove. It's pretty weird. And pretty great!
Start with Chapter 1, "First Contact," and click NEXT to follow the demented tale from there.

Completely Frivolous Blog Post About Subway Sandwiches

All my friends keep asking me, "Arthur, why do you say you'll never eat another chicken sandwich from Subway?"
I frequent all the cheap sandwich shops near my downtown corporate office. Yesterday I wanted an empanada and beans & rice from Julia's, but they weren't selling beans that day. So, since lunch was a bust [...]

Delaney Loses Bigtime; Single Beers DOOMED

According to the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics, 34 people voted for a write-in candidate in ANC 6B08 yesterday. That might mean 34 people voted for Arthur Delaney, the pro-single-beers candidate.
Unfortunately for single beers, over 800 people voted for four-term incumbent Neil Glick. He sent an email bragging about it to his family and [...]

Delaney Campaign Update!

From the D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics website: Incumbent Neil Glick has 39 votes. "Write In, if any" has two votes...only one of three precincts reporting.

Last-Minute ANC Write-In Campaign Announced at Last Minute!

This afternoon Southeast Capitol Hill resident Arthur Delaney kicked off his write-in campaign for a spot on the local advisory neighborhood commission. Delaney, who is me, is campaigning entirely on a pro-single-beers platform for 6B08.
Lately, the local political establishment is united in its insistence that corner stores not sell single cans or bottles of beer [...]

Judge Denies Protective Order for Easily Accessible Document

Yesterday a Superior Court judge denied a request by the D.C. Attorney General's office to seal exhibits entered into public record by two UDC professors as part of a FOIA lawsuit. The professors sued for the Department of Corrections' emergency plans at D.C. Jail, the city said releasing them would cause a terrorist attack, and [...]

D.C. Jail on Lockdown; Secret Terror Document No Longer Googleable

The D.C. Jail is on lockdown. A Sept. 24 release announces that the Department of Corrections (DOC) has instituted a "non-emergency security procedure" at the D.C. Jail until October 6. Inmate movement is restricted. A sign on the visitor's door says the lockdown started on Sept. 22 and that no visitors are allowed.
DOC spokesman [...]

How Christopher Savage Died

The autopsy report is in for Christopher Savage. According to the Office of the D.C. Medical Examiner, Savage died of "acute intoxication" from the combined effects of "Methadone, Morphine, Hydrocodone, Diazepam/Nordiazepam, Carisoprodol and Meprobamate." Manner of death: accident.
Savage died on his friends' couch in the early a.m. of April 19, a few hours after [...]