There's almost no time left to board the BANDWAGON...on Sunday, the Skins' one-game winning streak will run smack into a bunch of Cowboys players pissed that they got spanked by Green Bay. The Washington team is an 11 point unfavorite in this matchup, no one thinks their coach or quarterback will return next year, and all the players with popular jerseys are hurt. So obviously we have three more days to fantasize about them running the table. Who's gonna ride the BANDWAGON with me to Miami in February? My tickets are booked, my bags packed, and I can practically taste the sweet coffee and yummy cubanos. Who's in bunk No. 2? You! You! Possibly you?

A BANDWAGON not to board: Vincent Gray's! The council chair had a terrible day yesterday. Worse, the smackdown came from the Washington Times! That's as unexpected as getting beat by the Redskins, which happened to Denver last week and could possibly happen to Dallas and five other teams in the next few weeks, practically GUARANTEEING the Skins a trip to Miami! I can practically taste the mojitos and tropical mango relish! Who's with me?

It's also not too late to board the City Paper Vol. 29, No. 47 BANDWAGON! Highlights include! McKenna on a D.C.-area chess master who will not represent the Virgin Islands in Siberia. Riggs on the Library of Congress' most celebrated pain-in-the-ass employee. Carman on the Brown Bros.' new cocktail bar, which may just be a great place to watch the Redskins beat, in order, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Oakland, the New York football Giants, Dallas (again! Had enough yet, losers?), and San Diego. Then it's off to the playoffs, which you can watch on the BANDWAGON, where we will have a TV! I can practically hear the Who geezing through an abbreviated version of "Won't Get Fooled Again"! Who's with me?

Chico Harlan just made room in his schedule to board the BANDWAGON: The Post's Nats beat writer, who got in hot water for saying he didn't like sports but then rallied and did (I think) a very good job on a very tough beat, is leaving the darkness behind. You could apply for the job, but would it cut into your BANDWAGON time? You have to be able to prioritize! WHO'S WITH ME?

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: Over the past few days, I've encountered numerous instances of life-threatening behavior on Calvert Street NW and Adams Mill NW. Amazingly, every single car that's tried to kill me--1) the SUV whose driver cut me off THEN DROVE PAST ME FLIPPING ME THE BIRD; 2) the late-model sedan in the left-turn-only lane who screeched to a halt inches from my rear wheel, honking at me and gesticulating wildly because I was waiting to turn left and she wanted to go straight; 3) the sport sedan that zoomed around me not signaling, and turned right, very nearly causing a certain insurance company to lose its shirt--had Maryland plates. WHY ARE PEOPLE FROM MY THIRD- TO FOURTH-FAVORITE STATE TRYING TO KILL ME? I love crabcakes and cauliflower! I wrote a piece about the guy from Vinyl Ink! I'm practically from there! Let us come together and board the...on second thought, bite me.

I gotta bounce! Pray for me! Follow me on Twitter!

HOWEVER! I, with 40-some other Washingtonians in stodgy coats often made of polar fleece, rode this bus to New York City yesterday afternoon, and I, with 20 or so New Yorkers dressed in spacey togs that immediately outclassed those of us going home, rode this bus home this morning.

And the conveyance was quite agreeable. There were working footrests, outlets at each seat, seatbelts if you wanted them, and WiFi if you could make use of it. My only gripe was that the seats were slightly too narrow if you didn't want your neighbor's elbow touching yours.

But the price was good, and the ride was fast, and nobody tried to get me to pray with them or screamed about all the cocaine they'd done before boarding. I will take this bus again.

Lou Dobbs has left CNN! Absent the stain of his nativist zealotry, the cable network can get back to journalism. It's too bad Dobbs' immigration obsession overshadows what was often an eloquent, and lonely, concern about America's middle class. I am a member of this group and now have no money, probably because of all those copy editors streaming across the border, but if I did, I would maybe buy this T-shirt, which reminds me of my favorite American football team.

TALK ABOUT BURYING THE LEDE! DR. DREMO'S IS BACK! OR WILL BE. PERHAPS.

If you lived in Arlington in the glory days before punk died there, which was right around when it broke if that makes any sense, there were Galaxy Hut people and Bardo/Dr. Dremo's people. You had to choose! I was a Galaxy Hut person, but I am glad that a new generation of Dave Matthews Band fans in baseball hats (full disclosure: I like Dave Matthews and often wear a baseball hat that reminds me of my favorite football team) will have a place to get wasted and smooch before they rocket past the middle class.

The Japanese don't like us? Huh. Also related, in that I came to both stories on the same Web site, LeBron doesn't want to talk about free agency anymore.

If you are reading this, you probably don't know that the CMAs were last night, and you probably don't know what the CMAs are. They are awards for country-music millionaires. One of them cleaned up last night. Guess who? No Kanye jokes, K?

The Nats pick Jim Riggleman as their manager, thus denying us not only the prospect of a winning season anytime soon, but also the opportunity to enjoy Bobby Valentine's marvelous antics. Also, Ryan Zimmerman got a Golden Glove, which is weird, because how many times did he wing one past first base into the stands last year? Maybe it's because you don't  throw with your glove, I dunno.

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: Your helmet may come with a visor. Take it off. EXCEPT! When it rains. Then those are quite handy.

IGOTTABOUNCE! Keep me in your prayers! Follow me on Twitter! Enjoy the day!

I reached out to "Sir E. Channing," one of the ride's organizers, with some concerns. The following entrevue took place via electronic letter.

Washington City Paper: I'm not too familiar with our local dandies, other than the guy who rides up and down Kalorama on an English three-speed with a porkpie hat. Is he one of you?
Sir E. Channing: The three speed pedaler in the porkpie sounds charming and fits the description of one invited. Without further details, one can't be certain. Please do inform the gentleman of our planned event.

How many people are you hoping will ride?
As this is the first tweed ride known to occur in D.C. since the infestation of the automobile, we cannot be certain of how many riders will attend. Mere mention of it over a month ago have sent dozens of dapper dandies and quaintrelles quietly in search of suitable tweed and steel. This ride will serve to announce our arrival in a city in dire need of dandified representation. The word will be sure to travel in the right circles. The spring ride should bring dandies in great numbers from both near and far.

Have you been on one of these tweed rides before [e.g., 1, 2] ? Do you enjoy the feeling of wind whipping through your twined handlebar ends?
None of our members have been on tweed rides in any other cities. We are pleased that this city will present us with our first brisk and exhilarating experience pedaling steel in style. I have been an avid cyclist for over 15 years and have been passionate about matters of style for the entirety of my existence. I've learned of these rides in other cities through the internet only a few months ago and have since set about forming an event for D.C.

I understand the prohibition against fleece, but what about bike helmets? What about equestrian helmets---would those be better?
The organizers of this ride would like to encourage the wearing of helmets. We suspect that many will want to avoid the destruction of fastidiously arranged hairstyles. Others will want to display fine headgear that offers plenty of style and very little protection. We do anticipate a leisurely pace and a group large enough to be recognized by others on the road. We have no intentions of preventing the participation of the helmetless.

Are you concerned about congregating so many dandies in one location? What if a meteor hits? Will the bottom fall out of the horsehair market?
The planned or haphazard congregation of any population of dandies numbering more than just a few should arouse the concerns of all upstanding citizenry. And while the odds of a concurrent supernatural event may be quite slim, we may market ourselves to any who lend us the slightest bit of attention regardless of the possibility of cataclysm.

Please direct any further questions to my attention,

Delightfully yours,

Sir E. Channing

Photographs by Darrow Montgomery

NOTE: An earlier version of this post misstated the date for the ride. Gentlemen do make mistakes!

Real Talk With Andrew Beaujon™: What is weighing on you most heavily this morning: The death of Claude Lévi-Strauss...or the impending release of DROID?

If you picked DROID, keep reading!

Lévi-Strauss said writing was the difference between the so-called civilized and the so-called savage; DROID says the difference between it and the iPhone is better coverage! ADVANTAGE: DROID!

Lévi-Strauss believed in "laws of mythical thinking"; DROID believes in making Garmin stock worthless! ADVANTAGE: TIE

Lévi-Strauss examined culture through food, but his theories were hostage to the fashion of academe; DROID is pretty great at everything except letting you end phone calls. ADVANTAGE: LEVI-STRAUSS.

POP QUIZ!
Two of these are headlines or subheads in today's print edition of the Washington Post, and one is something my grandmother used to say when conversation got incredibly boring.

1) "We happily let technology run the day, until it stops us in our tracks"
2) "Guardians of the roads or highway robbers?"
3) "Sure, you can get your money back, but there are no refunds on high expectations"

ANSWER: Trick question! They're all from today's Post!

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER
I am still wearing shorts when I ride to work. But much like I wonder where Northwest ends and Northeast begins when I look at North Capitol Street, I wonder where stubborness ends and being an asshole begins when Wearing Shorts in the Cold (WSITC). You need only walk through Adams Morgan at any time of day or night to feel the rage WSITC can inspire in even an even-tempered observer. Or fly! One of Beaujon's Immutable Laws of Travel (BILOT) is that wherever you are going, there's always someone in shorts on your plane. And yet here I am still bare-legging it to work! Please help me decide what is right. Also: I don't have proper bike pants. Problem?

IN OTHER NEWS: Does Yankee fan elation bother you more than Phillies fan sadness pleases you? DISCUSS. Sad day for Spaniards: Francisco Ayala dies...at 103! Eat more ham! EWWWW: you've got the cutest little baby face. Also: Washington Times readers on global warming!

I gotta bounce! Follow me on Twitter! Advantage: DROID!

"I love how it's young but at the same time intellectual," he says. "You can walk down the street and you meet 10 different people and everyone has their own cause and purpose." ---Mike Manning of The Real World: D.C., quoted in Dan Zak's piece on the show's house.

Isn't it amazing how someone can live here for such a short time and effortlessly nail D.C.'s essence?

Manning's experience of meeting 10 people? If you substitute "sob quietly in your office" for "walk down the street" and "recently crushed dream" for "cause and purpose" (and stretch out the time required to meet 10 people to three-and-a-half years) THIS HAS BEEN EXACTLY MY EXPERIENCE.

MOREOVER, the house, as Zak notes, "feels like a landmark to what the rest of America sees when they visit the District." There are eagle statues throughout, stately columns on the main floor, and the bedrooms are all named for great political figures. Same here at my joint! I am currently writing from the "Morton Kondracke Room," which looks out on my backyard and borders the "Mary Margaret Whipple Kitchen," just off the "Paul Trible Entryway."

ITEM: The Black Rooster will cock about a little bit longer! Now, on to the next cause and purpose: FREE NICK CHO!

HEY! PICK UP A PAPER! Last week, I thought Darrow had the most beautiful cover photograph I'd seen in yonks. Well, this week, he has beaten even that, with a picture of a wee Frenchman. Don't know what I'm talking about? Understandable! Find an orange-and-black box and remove the floppy thing with the writing on the cover. ALSO INSIDE: MORE STUFF.

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: Don't use a bike computer. It'll only make you miserable. If you have one, take it off. If you don't have one, good.

FINALLY, after getting our ass handed to us by the Huffington Post in Post-PostKiller.com-Memogate, City Paper finally moves the peanut a little. Instead of employing the current revenue model here ("Hang on for dear freaking life and pray Obama outlaws the Huffington Post"), it will employ one called "Coast on rich guy's money and pray someone figures out how to make money on Internet." Actually, we're kind of doing that one, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Kent Cookes! The landed gentry of Middleburg, Va., by way of a Canadian encyclopedia salesman made a United States citizen by an act of congress! They had a town named after them, and then they didn't! Late-night rides through Georgetown with a boy-toy clinging to the hood of a Jaguar! Throwing shoes at cops! Angry wills! John Kent Cooke was supposed to run the Redskins, and then he wasn't!

You can blame Dan Snyder for a lot of things. But foremost has to be depriving us of this family through his "appalling" use of the same free market system that brought them to us.

Other stuff is happening, too. Korean exorcisms, for instance. (Joe Eaton, where are you on this?) The country's least consequential gubernatorial race (1) (2)! MoDos in Crystal City! Booty walls! Check out the Web this morning, it has a ton of great stuff!

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER. Cars try to hit bicycles. They often succeed! Commuters try to defend themselves with high-visibility clothing. But sometimes a blindingly yellow jacket is not la chose juste. Dude. Get yourself some neon stickers. A couple on your helmet, one on your fender, maybe on your bag? You can provide just enough visibility to have a case in your lawsuit.

Dang! Out of time! I'm bounceville! Follow me on Twitter!

With little more than two weeks to go, Virginia's gubernatorial race is the talk of the nation. Actually, it's really not since no one thinks Creigh Deeds can win, but here are some good reasons to pay it no mind anyway:

• The candidates are virtually identical when it comes to issues they can actually affect. Deeds likes jobs. So does Bob McDonnell! Deeds wants greener energy, but not at the expense of possibly drilling offshore. McDonnell wants greener energy, but not at the expense of oil and natural gas. They do differ on how they'll fund their transportation initiatives: Deeds will consider new taxes. McDonnell wants to sell off the state's liquor stores (good idea) and...get more money by considering drilling offshore. But anyway, it doesn't matter because Deeds is toast.
• This is Virginia, and they are both assholes. When it comes to social issues, McDonnell is slightly more of an asshole. Both voted for parental notification. Both voted against recognizing same-sex marriage. Both oppose reasonable controls on firearms, like banning them from school campuses. They are both responsible for the dipshit "IN GOD WE TRUST" sign my kid's school has to display in its foyer. But I wouldn't read too much into any of this---abortion has been legal for decades. Gay people continue to exist in Virginia. It's no problem to bring guns anywhere! For all the noise on these issues, very little has changed or will change, no matter what the governor thinks.
• There is no incentive for anyone to do a good job as Virginia governor. Due to the commonwealth's moronic one-term limit, its governor spends most of his term auditioning for a better job. You spend three years slowly getting one initiative through the part-time general assembly, where everyone is conservative in uninterestingly different ways, and there's your legacy and then it's off to be senator or head of the DNC or wildly unpopular mayor of Richmond. In some parts of the United States, governors can shape the future of their state. Not here.
• If Republicans win, it'll be mean the GOP is coming back. No, it'll mean Creigh Deeds couldn't make an essentially conservative state go for the slightly less conservative candidate. Yawn.

In other news, some young people don't visit Twitter.

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: It is getting colder, and wetter. You need something under your helmet. Soon if you have hair, now if, like me, you are bald. Until it gets really cold I wear a beanie under my foam hat (later I go to a balaclava). They make yucky mornings like this one bearable. Don't stop riding because the weather's turned!

Hey! It's Thursday! Pick up our paper. It has another typo on the cover. Erika, please come back here soon! Otherwise this is an excellent issue, with a great story by Jeffrey Anderson about Peaceoholics' Ronald Moten, as well as all the usual bozos. Please don't forget to patronize our advertisers, especially anyone who can drop a giant cube on your enemies.

ITEMS:
• Hippies and punks---IN ONE PLACE! Wait, there's still hippies and punks?
• Riggo, the world's greatest man.
• Cheap parking spurned. Who pays? [sadtrombone.wav]
• Jawbox to reunite, on Fallon! "I think we’re all a bit taken aback that anyone is paying attention," Jawbox's J. Robbins told us yesterday.
• I will adhere to these new Michael Pollan rules and talk loudly about them, because it makes Riggs go coconuts.
• A friend IM'd me about the Chuck Brown feature Godfrey and I wrote for this week's paper; it bounces off the terrible Chuck Brown feature in last Sunday's Washington Post Magazine. In the intro, I mentioned that twice, author Robin Rose Parker mentioned that Brown's audience was "30- and 40-something African Americans" and took her to task for some sloppy math (Brown is speaking at a high school when her piece opens she says his 1979 hit “Bustin’ Loose” was released “decades before his high school audience was born.") Short decades, right? Says my pal: What about the 30- and 40-something African Americans? How old were they in 1979? Boom!

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: If your ride is longer than a mile, you might want to have different clothes for biking and working. However! Now you have to get your nice clothes to work and keep them dry. Solution: a bag! However! What bag? Backpacks are great for short rides but get kinda hot on your back, especially in the summer. Messenger bags, sure why not? On my usual bike, I have a set of Ortlieb panniers. They have a nice Tron-ish look to them and are superwatertight. They cost a lot. That part I can't endorse. Many companies make panniers, but some of them require you to put covers on them when it rains, which seems like way too much trouble to me. Also, make sure you don't pronounce it "pann-i-AY." Pronounce the "r" or people in bike shops will laugh at you. I learned this firsthand!

I gotta bounce! Obey the Cube! Follow me on Twitter!

But! As Tuomaala pointed out in an e-mail, "There are email lists operating on other software.  Only lists that run on L-Soft's software are LISTSERV lists."

I wrote back for clarification, asking Tuomaala if she wanted us to find out what software each mailing list we report on is using. If I was the first person ever to reply to such an e-mail, Tuomaala masked her enthusiasm very well. "One way is to find out what is the solution is," she wrote. "For example, if it is visible in the email list address or web site. Another way, especially when the product itself is not interesting, is to use a generic term instead."

Some of the generic terms Tuomaala suggests:

email list
mailing list
email group
email discussion list
email community
announcement list
email forum

I think this is a perfectly reasonable request, and it points us toward greater accuracy, journalism-wise. From now on, CP writers, please do not use the word Listserv. "E-mail discussion list" may not have zing, but it is the correct term.