City Desk

Sexy Safeway? Safe Safeway? Swanky Safeway? The Petworth Safeway Apparently Needs a Name STAT

The long-awaited Petworth Safeway opened on Friday and, in keeping with the inexplicable D.C. Safeway tradition, residents are already searching for a nickname for their new grocery store.

The old Petworth Safeway was called the "Stinky Safeway" (take a look at this 2011 analysis of all the D.C. Safeway monikers), but this brand spanking new store hardly qualifies as stinky. So what to christen it?

On the Petworth neighborhood listserv, one resident suggested that it be called the "Sexy Safeway," or the "Safe Safeway." (Unfortunately, the Mount Vernon Safeway already holds the "Sexy Safeway" title due to its attractive clientele and sexy products, like wine and flowers.)  Another Petworth resident chimed in with the "Swanky Safeway."

The self-anointed Prince of Petworth offered the "Stroller Safeway" as an idea because of all the babies he encountered when he visited the store and as a symbolic ode to the "rebirth" of the neighborhood. The new apartment building above the grocery store is called "The Swift," so some have already taken to calling the new Safeway the "Swift Safeway."

It's probably too early to give the grocery store a nickname based on its personality just yet, but if City Desk had to, we'd probably just call it the "Sanitized Safeway."

If you have a better idea, leave it in the comments below.

Photo by Aaron Wiener

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