City Desk

Four Ways of the Condo

A booming D.C. means more condos, and more condos translate to ever more confounding luxury building names. These run the gamut from the meaninglessly pretentious (think one-syllable club-like monikers) to the dazzlingly tone-deaf (the swagger-jacking Langston Lofts). Whether you’re on the hunt for a swanky condo that screams elitism or one that succinctly conveys your political interests, here’s a handy diagram to help you figure out just what your condo name is really saying.

Condo Names

Illustration by Jandos Rothstein

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  • gilla

    how is the fitzgerald swagger jacking? that is a building marketed to rich white people named after an author who wrote a lot of books about rich white people.

  • Bac

    Way to get to the heart of an issue, CP. As always, johnny on the spot with your very substantive reporting.

  • dno

    This is great. @gilla, I think the reference is to Ella Fitzgerald, not F. Scott. Or at least that's the author's interpretation.

  • Little minded hobgoblin

    A haiku:

    Up condo go go
    Arise behind chain link fence
    Mortgage taxes fees

  • tntdc

    Didn't end up as a condo after all but- "The District".

    They paid a LOT of money to come up that name and had an elaborate formal invite-only ceremony to announce the name.

  • Little minded hobgoblin

    "the district".......still might happen, given the political will. Lights, red carpet, after party, puffy beyonce, jay z, and, what's his name, um, wait a minute, um,

    Etc etc etc.

  • DC Quitler

    There is the Fahrenheit and Celsius on 15th Street.

  • Northwesterneer

    I'm upset that no swagger-jacking condo calls itself "The Diddley."

  • shawguy

    Was this "article" some sort of contest for the most ridiculous waste of space and time that the City Paper could come up with? Was this the winner?

    Can we just set the author on fire now?