Hungry Hungry Hippos: If you’re hungry and competitive, there are a bunch of eating competitions in the District this month to satisfy both your needs. Excessive amounts of tater tots, tacos, burgers, or Italian water ice—take your pick. –2

A Night to Remember: It appears that a couple had their wedding rehearsal dinner at Wonderland Ballroom. We can only hope this means they met each other one inebriated Saturday night on the sticky, crowded dance floor. +3

Jersey Boys: Pigskins’ Linebacker Ryan Kerrigan went undercover as a Modell’s Sporting Goods salesman and tried to get people to buy his jersey instead of RGIII’s. +3

For Hire: Walmart announced today that it’ll be opening its first two D.C. hiring centers on Monday. No matter your opinion on the politics of Walmart in D.C., hiring is never a bad thing these days. +2

Yesterday’s Needle rating: 64 Today’s score: +6 Today’s Needle rating: 70