City Desk

Eric Holder Isn’t the Only One Saying No

In certain corners of the Internet, a written response from Attorney General Eric Holder to Sen. Rand Paul—following the Kentucky Republican's filibuster last night over concerns related to the Obama administration's drone-warfare program—has already become a classic of the political-memo genre. However, Holder's letter is eerily similar to a number of missives recently obtained by Washington City Paper.

The Honorable Adrian Fenty

C/o Runner's World magazine

Emmaus, Pa., 18049

 

Dear Mayor Fenty,

It has come to my attention that you have now asked an additional question: "Can you slot me in tomorrow night at Minibar?" The answer to that question is no.

Sincerely,

José Andrés

* * *

 

The Honorable Jack Evans

The John A. Wilson Building

Washington, D.C. 20004

 

Dear Councilmember Evans,

It has come to my attention that you have now asked an additional question: "Will I trade you my NFL team for a federal agency that I'm probably going to get anyway?" The answer to that question is no.
Sincerely,
Rushern L. Baker III

* * *

Mr. Bob Woodward

C/o the Washington Post

Washington, D.C. 20071

 

Dear Bob,

It has come to my attention that you have now asked an additional question: "Meet at the Regal for the 7 p.m. Les Miz?" The answer to that question is no.

Sincerely,

Gene Sperling

* * *

The Capital Weather Gang

The Washington Post

Washington, D.C. 20071

 

Dear Capital Weather Gang,

It has come to my attention that have now asked an additional question: "Please, please, pretty please can we get just a few more inches?" The answer to that question is no.

Sincerely,

Snow

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