City Desk

D.C. Virgins Wanted for Sacrifice Party

Weird Craigslist: normally all fun and games, bros broing bros and people trading sexual favors for hurricane supplies. But not anymore! Today's Craigslist brings the forboding news that someone in our metropolitan region is planning to throw a party, and they need some virgins to douse in fake blood.

The bash is being held on Dec. 21, the day the world ends. Key to this party, apparently, is mock human sacrifice. "One of the visual props—likely the centerpiece—would be a sacrificial altar," writes the Washington area's most ambitious party planner. "And what sacrificial altar would be complete without virgins covered in blood." (Bold italics in the original!)

What indeed. To his credit, Dark Lord Virginator acknowledges that his request is very strange. Not to his credit, though, he's sketchy about payment, writing, "We might be happy to pay you."

Also, real virgins only, please. "We are very serious," writes the poster, using bold to emphasize that false virgins are not welcome. "I say this not without a considerable amount of shame, but serious inquiries only."

Is this party actually happening, and if so, how can I get an invite? Unfortunately, my inquiry to the poster ("So this is real?") has gone unanswered.

Satanic sacrifice picture by Shutterstock

 

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