Millennials Will Suck D.C. Dry, Says Grumpy Man
Move over, Courtland Milloy. Karl Jeremy is D.C.'s newest antagonist of myopic little twits, and he's on the hunt for some millennials.
Jeremy's latest contribution to themail newsletter appeared Sunday, when he wondered why D.C. officials continue to work with Greater Greater Washington blogger Dave Alpert to reach young residents. The effect of the partnership has been dire, according to Jeremy:
Gracious streets have become clogged with bike lanes, bus shelters are lit up with advertising, and national parkland is threatened with children’s play equipment.
Alpert, the Millennial Mason himself, has a nice takedown of Jeremy's complaints about parks. But the real question is, when did advertising in bus stations become a millennial issue?
Alpert is not alone in his schemes, according to Jeremy. He's joined by Greater Greater Washington commenters and new Housing Complex writer Aaron Wiener, who has "adopted his predecessor’s disrespectful tone."
But the only thing worse than millennials being here, for Jeremy, is millennials...not being here?
The city may awake one day and discover that the Millennials are no longer here. They’ve moved on to the sounds of a different piper, faraway places, and fun and games. They really didn’t care about the future of Washington, they cared about good times and easy living for themselves.
The good times and easy living of the smart-growth set, exposed. I don't know whether you're in "the lifestyle," but as long as the secret's out, here's a slice of how my crew and I lived it this weekend. First we tore up a voluntary agreement, then we looked at bus-shelter ads as a pregame, and then—and this is really where I need to untag the pictures in the morning—we built a pop-up park. Anybody who says they remember that ANC meeting wasn't really there!
Photo by Darrow Montgomery