City Desk

Sliding Down Metro Escalators Not Metro Approved

While plodding down a dead Metro esclaator, it's hard to avoid the allure, just for a second, of the slick area between the escalators. It's obviously stupid and something you should never do—not to mention that avoiding the bumps would be tricky—but what if you did?

A post on Reddit's D.C. forum related this recent, drunken attempt to do maneuver down the escalator, revealing the complicated physics of transit spelunking. It's worth a read, if only to confirm that, yes, slipping down an escalator is a bad idea.

But it got me thinking: How often do people think it's a good idea? Metro spokeswoman Caroline Lukas says the agency doesn't keep stats on how often passengers slide down the escalators.  "Fortunately it is not something that happens often," she writes in an email.

Still, Metro seems pretty relaxed about it. According to Lukas, sliding down the escalator would probably just qualify as disorderly conduct and not a more serious crime.

But the negligible rewards of taking the slick way down an escalator seem so very small compared to the downsides. Our intrepid Reddit Metro-slider thought so:

I get to the bottom and land flat on my ass and my back. Knocked the wind out of me and left a really gnarly bruise on my ass (it's only gotten worse three days later and it's a deep dark purple, about the size of a medium cantaloupe). My ankles are also both in pain (probably joint stress), and my heels (left one in particular) are pretty sore/bruised. Honestly looking back, it was really fucking stupid of me.

Internet idiots: What will they think of next?

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

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  • Ryan Cheese

    "Internet idiots: What will they think of next?"

    The term 'internet idiots' is idiotic in itself. Whether or not someone posts something on the internet has no bearing on how much of an idiot that person is.

    The internet does not contain some demographic of people that you can generalize as idiots. If he had not posted this, would he still be an idiot? Yes. If a tree falls in the forest...

  • Remote

    Wasted work day at CP, too, I see.

  • NovaNicole

    And will one of those Darwinian fools sue Metro when they hurt themselves?

  • Typical DC BS

    I would imagine those metal panels are not perfectly aligned - some edges might be sticking up? Sliding over a nice, raised edge might lead to an unintentional skinning / slicing?

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