City Desk

Share Your D.C. Dating Horror Stories!

D.C. Dating Horror Stories

Over on Gawker, New Yorkers are sharing horrific stories of dating men in the financial industry, a sector as rich in self-importance as it is impoverished in actual social skills. Sound familiar, singletons of the District?

Here in the DMV, we know from abhorrent! Send us your prototypical D.C. dating stories—disappointing dalliances with Hill staffers, policy wonks, or anyone else who grotesquely and stereotypically embodied every fear you had about prospective partners in the nation's capitol. I bet there's at least one ex-boyfriend out there who refers to his penis as "the candidate," or my middle name isn't "Pageview!"

We'll print the best (read: worst) stories you send to here on the site, no names attached. Feel free to give us stories involving loathsome women of D.C., as well as men, but we suspect we know how the gender split will work on this one.

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  • Colleen

    Being a 40 something female divorcee and dating in the DC Metro area is not always fruitful. One dating site seemed to offer an opportunity to get to know someone a little before the first date, but beware of men who feel the need to share thier baggage with you too soon. My first date with Corvette man was actually wonderful as first dates go. Dinner and conversation flowed and we walked around Reston Town Center afterwards. It was raining slightly, so he held an umbrella over my head. He was winning some major brownie points with his chivalry. #2. Dinner started out like a dream then turned into a nightmare. First he felt the need to share that he had 3 disabilites and went into them in detail. I knew he was divorced, but apparently he was divorced twice and kept saying disparaging remarks about his two exwives. He even shared that his second wife told him that she will never forgive him until the day she dies. (He didn't tell me what he did that was so bad)

    But the deal breaker was his relationship with his children. He apparently did not have a relationship with his son for years and he finally reestablished one. His daughter reminded him too much of his ex wife, so he admitted to ignoring her calls when he saw her name on his phone.

    I am not a judgemental person and a great listener, but this information was just too much too soon. I suppose I should have read the signs on the first date when he wore a "Corevette" shirt, showing his narcisictic personality. But I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Lesson learned..and just another frog along the way.

  • mattb

    once, i dated this smarmy reporter who did nothing but rip off ideas from popular blogs to increase her web traffic

  • Colonel K

    Geez WCP, walking over the same path again?
    Franklin Schneider's "Your Unfinished Basement or Mine? My relationship went sour. I needed many women. I lived in the right place" summed up dating in DC perfectly!

  • Tired

    She was actually nice.

    We had met at a dinner party at Marakesh organized by a mutual friend, so she had a good reference. Also, she was pretty and fit. Also, she had a good job. Also, she was really charming and...just nice. Given the mean women I had been dating in recent years, just nice was probably most important but it wasn't the only thing by far. Like I said, she came from good people, had job, good looking, etc.

    We made plans to go out and, unlike usual, I immediately followed up for a one-on-one, real date, rather than another group setting. We had another great conversation over drinks.

    Maybe it was the alcohol, but I think it was really her genuine niceness, thus I opened up. I wanted to be honest so that, if this was something special, it got off onto the right foot. So I admitted I wanted things with us to go slow because, in addition to a time suck job, I was having difficulty breaking up with a really needy--insanely needy--woman, all of which was starting to affect my general happiness. I wanted her to know that I was going slow because of me, not her. Again, maybe it was the alcohol, but amazingly, that didn't stop us from having great sex that night.

    Only in DC is a wonderful date, immediate follow-up, great sex a huge mistake: No good deed goes unpunished here.

    The next morning--it's not even 11 amat my time suck job--I receive this long, screed over my work email, which essentially boils down to, "WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME, YET!?!?!"

    It was like she didn't hear anything I said all night. All I could write back was "you're giving me a headache." She must've be chagrined because the next day she sent a dozen yellow roses to my office where, of course, everyone was like, "My Congressman boss was like, "You're bringing your love life to work?!?"

    This sorta thing never happened to me in any of the other cities I've lived in (my hometown, college, law school). These attention-starved women who'll cross any boundary for your affection like a vote starved candidate only exist in DC. Well, there was one in law school, but her dad was a state senator so that's pretty much DC, too.

  • RV

    One time I took out a great girl (or so I thought). First date went great, it was raining slightly and I had on my Corvette T-shirt, so I was full of confidence (pretty sure she ACTUALLY believed I owned a Corvette, score! I'm totally getting laid) and was able to scam on her a little bit with my umbrella arm touching. I'm was in like Flint. I don't remember what happened after that, but I think you can take it from there.