City Desk

Fighting Moms: Best DCUM Story Comments

Have you read this week's cover story about the Mommy Fights on the D.C. Urban Moms message board? If not, let some of the best commenters entice you in. We've collected our favorite comments from our site and Fark that really sum up the horrid underbelly of the District. It's a place where rich parents ignore their children and spend their time judging others for their parenting choices. Come on in and throw some shit at the fan!

For the very best, check out the FARK comments:

HotWingConspiracy: Some articles make me root for the terrorists.

the_vicious_fez: I don't have kids, but now I'm tempted to have one just so I can make a stroller out of one of those ugly metal folding chairs, some chicken wire, and an Eagles jersey. Throw on some lawn mower tires for the bigger pot holes and I'd be a walking fark you to the stroller status symbol set.

FatherDale: Sounds like a pile of people who need to be neutered.

Belatryx: So it's fark with actual women?

hobodojo: Jesus. Every now and then I think I want to have kids, and then I read about shiat like this. It makes me hug my abdomen and murmur to my eggs "Don't worry, babies. It's ok. Mama won't bring you into the world."

fredbox: Reason #523 I'm grateful to have had the vasectomy

xanadian: All I got from that article (what of it I read) was: 1. Wimmin be biatchin...and... 2. Some guys lost their testicles loooooong ago.

Some of the best comments on our site:
Colonel K: DCUM is a fine example of everything that's going wrong with Washington DC. What could be worse than a bunch of spoiled and misinformed parents rabbiting on about parenthood. And stop bringing those big ass strollers on the Metro. Taking up all the space.

Amanda: Carry on. Enjoy the asylum you've created for each other. The better parents escaped the cuckoo's nest long ago.

dad: I like how the part where they whine about cost of living is sandwiched between the $900 strollers and the $30k preschools.

Caligirl: I'm so glad I live in California. I'll take fruits and nuts over type-A any day. DC people, you need to RELAX! Worry about things that actually matter.

AlphaGeek: Surprise surprise. Another website full of clucking hens who have nothing better to do than to create drama to make their lives interesting. If you have a shred of sense, stay away from all of them!

And maybe the best of all from a D.C. Urban Mom herself: When we concluded (after some very serious research) that these moms were all nasty to each other because of their sexless love lives, one responded: "Shows what she knows. Not only are we having sex, DH and I broke the bed last night." We're still waiting for a fellow Urban Mom to judge her on what must be a poor-quality bed frame. Wild parent sex requires a sturdy and overpriced bed, even if it only starts rocking once a month.

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  • Emily2

    Hey Emily: It may not be the poor quality of the bed frame that is at issue; the problem may be indicative of the large number of DCUMers who feed their faces with junk while sitting on their asses typing insults to one another all day. Makes for some mighty fat couples able to break any bed, even if only once a month!!!

    Love your work!!!!

  • Thebutlerdiditagain

    An all-too powerful visual of the site's administrators. There's a sexy couple for you to contemplate before dinner.

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  • Shehls

    Omg, I have a 6 month old and the DCUM messageboards scared me while I was getting my Phd in babyology from google. That is precisely the reason I have no mommy friends! Freaks!

  • Mary

    Emily, Jeff Steele is very, very upset with you. He's calling you a lazy writer and the personification of a "mean girl". He's calling you a hypocrite. And one of his girls is looking for a picture of you so that she can call you ugly -- even if you're not (the cunt admits). He's got people LOL'ing at you, and saying that you are not even a writer, since you only cut and paste.

    He's bitching and pissing and moaning and exhorting his whores to attack you. He is, in fact, behaving exactly like a "mean girl" -- and a complete pussy. I wonder if he's really packing anything down there.

    Meanwhile, I've noticed a paucity of advertising on the site. Fewer big picture ads; more text ads, and lots of white space. Coincidence? Perhaps. But clearly, he's (she's?) pissing himself (herself?). Don't take it personally -- you ROCK.

  • Annie

    And Emily, this is sweet: Jeff concludes his rant against you with some incoherent theory that he should take your blog as a "complement".

    A complement to what, Mr. Steele? Does it go well with your golf club collection? Is it a fine addition to your living room furniture?

    Perhaps before Jeff accuses others of being lazy writers, he should learn the difference between "complement" and "compliment". He could also learn that "goodbye" is one word, as opposed to "good bye" (see his nonsensical blog about his decision to rid his home of an outdated record player --fascinating stuff.

    And maybe Mr. Steele should also take the time to learn the difference between "there", "their", and "they're" before he accuses anyone of being a lazy writer.

    That fucking fat midget.

  • Jennifer

    Midget indeed. He's 5'4" and and obese. Perhaps he should try out for the circus? I bet people would pay to see that.