City Desk

A Glenn Beck Fan’s Guide to Washington, D.C.

The District is bracing for yet another gathering of Tea Party activists, seemingly furious about the very existence of the federal government and complaining about "taxation without representation." (Though, honestly, we in D.C. know from taxation without representation, and none of these grouches from states with two senators and voting House members really impress City Paper much for disenfranchisement.) On Saturday, Glenn Beck will do his best Martin Luther King, Jr., impression, addressing a rally at the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of King's 1963 March on Washington. Beck has a dream, too, you know. And it doesn't necessarily involve a Christmas sweater.

But Washingtonians aren't the only ones preparing for the invasion: The Tea Partiers are girding their loins for their imminent arrival in the District. A visitor's guide posted on a Maine Tea Party group's website has gotten some attention for advising the anti-government activists avoid Metro's Green and Yellow lines—a warning that's "even more important at night"—and stick to certain areas of the city for safety reasons if on foot, in a cab or a bus:

Bethesda, Arlington (preferably north Arlington), Crystal City, Falls Church, Annandale, or Alexandria, or in DC only in northwest DC west (i.e. larger street numbers) of 14th or 16th streets, or if on Capitol Hill only in SE Capitol Hill (zip 20003) between 1st and 8th Streets, not farther out than 8th (e.g. 9th, 10th etc). (Or stay on the Mall and at the various monuments.)

It seems unlikely many Tea Party activists will take this advice completely literally; a lot of them have been showing up here pretty often since President Obama took office, anyway, to scream about how unfair it is that the government will soon be helping people without health insurance get coverage, among other perfidies, so they may have learned their way around town by now.

Which is a good thing—because this visitor's guide would put quite a few sights off-limits. Among them:

  • The National Archives, where—thanks, no doubt, to a socialist plot—the beloved Constitution now resides, best reachable by public transit via the Green or Yellow line;
  • Ur-Republican Abraham Lincoln's cottage on the grounds of the Old Soldier's Home, located dangerously northeast of downtown, in Petworth along North Capitol Street;
  • The Washington Times (if it's still publishing by the weekend), whose op/ed page unflaggingly supports Tea Party goals from its home off New York Avenue in Northeast;
  • Baseball at Nationals Park, on the Green line—fortunately, both "mom" and "apple pie" stick to safer transit options;
  • Target, in Columbia Heights, which faces a boycott over its political contributions to a business group that's given money to opponents of gay marriage in Minnesota;
  • The street named after Tea Party heroine Sarah Palin's turf, Alaska Avenue NW, which runs northeast from 16th Street NW to Georgia Avenue NW.

Where else might Tea Party types want to go, or not go, this weekend? Leave your suggestions in the comments. And if you spot a Beck acolyte on any Metro line this weekend, remember—their farecard only covers 66 percent of the cost of their ride. The rest? Paid for by the government!

Photo by Gage Skidmore via Flickr/Creative Commons attribution license

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  • MistrKnucklz

    Interesting that Bruce Majors, a realtor who has been acive in the GAY community, is posting this rubbish. I guess even Gay people have come under the spell of Palin and Beck. Sad.

  • Rick Mangus

    'Mike' is an asshole and everyone knows it! Let's restore honor back to the city that re-elects a crack addict and criminal as mayor and presently a city council member and can not account for millions of tax payers money! WOW that a lot to be proud of, how pathetic!

  • Rick Mangus

    Oh by the way, 'MistrKnuckle' gay's can't seem to think for themselves when it comes to democrats and the current coward we have as President, who can repeal, 'Don't Ask Don't Tell', with an executive order! So go ahead and line-up with you nose up the President's ass like every mindless queen and just remember to say over and over again, democrats are good, Republicans are bad, democrats are good Republicans are bad! You all would make perfect Borg Drones!

  • chris barker

    The Tea Party Movement is the product of special interests taking advantage of ignorant, impressionable people. Tea Party folks are being roused in the hope of creating serious social conflict, and to create a psychology of panic among americans (through overblown media coverage). Special interests roused groups like this in Chile and Argentina in similar times of economic crisis. Look at where their rouses led...dictatorships. Right now the Tea Party Idiots are merely that, a cacophonous amalgamation of rants from seriously misled people. But if we don't actively fight their ignorance and trump their voice, they may eventually become a beacon for the meek and weak.

  • chris barker

    and a prelude to serious conflict.

  • RobShaw

    Can the Tea-tards come to the District every weekend? I think this article plus a lot of the not-stupid comments were helpful. They will probably also benefit from previous City Paper articles, like the Black Man's Guide to Georgetown. @NY you must live in Georgetown - please don't discuss the rest of the city which you've clearly never traveled to. And prefacing your comment with "I hate the tea bag party" doesn't defend you as well as you think.

  • Sharon

    This is so disturbing. Beck, Palin, Limbaugh, etc
    do not speak for me at all.
    They are very disturbed people and they all need
    serious help.

  • The Watcher

    Okay, teabaggers, let's call this for what it is. A bunch of racist, mid-western homophobes who've never left the farm. Leave your pigs at home. (And stay out of Georgetown at night--it can be rather unsafe on the dimly lit streets.)

  • Rick Mangus

    I'll tell you what's disturbing is no one on here is saying anything about the scam that Al Sharpton pull in 1989 with Tawana Brawley and other shake-downs he has done since and this clown lead the other march today! MLK is rolling in his grave right now!

  • Sharon

    What is so disturbing is Palin quit her job now she thinks
    she is still Govenor. Martin Luther King would be so
    disturbed by what went on today where he gave his speech.
    These people are all NUTS! The clowns got loose again.
    Only the Tea Baggers and Nut Jobs would believe any of
    this crap they spew out of their mouths.
    They are such a joke!

  • Simon

    Chechens, Rick, Chechens!

  • Ron

    Just doesn't make any sense. Xenophobia is killing this country, not liberalism. I live off of the Naylor Road station in SE and take Metro every day, and I've never had a problem or complaint as a young white male in the supposed "danger area".

  • TC

    Glenn Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally sought to bring God back into the public discourse. While the claim throughout was plurality and a non-denominational stance on God, it was clear that this only really applied under the umbrella of Christianity and was mostly just required ear-candy for the sprinkling of non-Christian supporters in the crowd.
    Read my analysis of the event here:

  • The Watcher

    Think about Glenn Beck's, Sarah Palin's and the tea-baggers' joint message: they don't want uninsured Americans to have health insurance. My question is who's paying for Trig Palin's health insurance? If you agree with Beck, Palin and the tea-baggers, when you go to the hospital are you prepared to pay the bill? Will you sign over the deed to your house for payment?

  • Gabriel Givens

    What everybody doesn't seem to realize is that most of this country is under the influence of the Nazis. The same people that killed and tortured innocent people during WWII. They want to destroy education?!- sound familiar! They want the rich elite to have total control financially and they want to start WWIII. They don't care about Unemployment, the Environment, Illegal Immigration, Social Security, Medicare, Utility Bills, Mortgages or how many innocent people died in Iraq . You bastards had better wake up because if Dick and Bush get back into office we may not be willing to try to save you dumb stupid idiots-next time!

  • val

    the song of the oppressed , "taxed without representation" , most of congress represents foreign interests and not the people of the United States
    both the Republicans and the Democrats are owned buy a foreign "international" governing committee.

    the new battle song is:

    what did Delaware Boys ?
    what did Delaware !
    she wares a brand-new TEA PARTY !
    she wares a brand-new TEA PARTY !
    she wares a brand-new TEA PARTY !
    that's what Delaware's !