City Desk

Alleged Serial Semen Sprayer Connected to Three More Grocery Store Squirts

MichaelEdwardsIt's the gift that keeps on giving: Gaithersburg is under attack and women are being sprayed with semen. We thought the incidents at Giant and then Michaels were bad enough, but now even more victims are coming forward. It's semen-squirting mania in Maryland!

In addition to the incident on July 15 at the Giant grocery store, police also discovered an attack at Michaels last November. Now there are three additional cases at the same Giant on July 2 and 8, according to the Washington Post. Now we're starting to wonder how many women are clueless and wandering the streets in closes covered in squirted semen. Wait, don't answer that.

Michael Wayne Edwards Jr. has been charged in the first cases and turned himself in today on the latest three charges.

In cased you missed the drama last week: Edwards is accused of sneaking up behind unsuspecting women and using a small bottle (like one used for hand sanitizer) to spray them with semen. In at least a couple cases he was so proud of himself he thought it would be wise to take cell phone photos of his work, probably to help him produce more attack juices for later.

If you can believe it, there could be more victims out there. Victims should call 301-258-6400.

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  • Rick Mangus

    CASTRATION!, that will cure him!

  • Amanda Hess

    At least he's staying away from the Michaels. There is nothing more revolting than a semen squirting in a Michaels.

    And semen squirted from a hand sanitizer bottle? What's the range on that?

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  • James H

    Sounds like more people are cumming forward.

  • CoHo

    So that's what he looks like without his bear suit...

  • Spladow

    Now that's what I call a sticky situation.

  • Ali Perry

    yea this is so funny right... what if he is HIV+?
    What a bunch of immature jerks you all are. Women remain jokes to the majority of men (including so called reporters) in this country. What if it were your mother's, sister's, grandmother's or daughter's... then you wouldn't be laughing you morons :P

  • Rick Mangus

    'Ali Perry', no joke intended on my comment, they should castrate the son of a bitch!

  • Htos1

    Watch porn much?Besides,how does a sec8'er afford an inetrnet connection?

  • nino nitti

    Amazing just amazing......this guy should be working for the federal government - he could jerk off all day and get paid for it.

  • Jiggaboo Coon

    Someone needs to cut of his frank and beans.