Stephen Strasburg Is ‘Jeezus’…But Who Wins If He Takes On ‘God’?
Stephen Strasburg has given us the feel-good story of the summer.
He's made everybody happy! Almost.
The only discord I can detect comes with his nickname. He's "Jeezus." The Great Dan Steinberg used the handle in digital print in the hours after the First Coming of Strasburg. (Technically, I guess our new #37 is only the Nats' Third Coming, if you count Jesuses Flores and Colome.)
Here's what Steinberg wrote:
And by the end of the game, mobs of people stuck around to cheer Strasburg as he did his TV interviews on the field. Yet again, they chanted his name. And one fan flashed this poster:"Welcome Jeezus!" Don't think I could say it better than that.
Years ago, I concluded that every good Internet thread ends with cancer or the Jews. Well, let's just say this one didn't end with cancer.
Steinberg's blurb got the commenters fired up. A Bog reader using the nom de douchery washingtoncapsblog took the clown crown. He/She/It ignited things with the following fightin' words:
"If your folk liked 'Jeezus', He would have never been crucified, and Christianity and Judaism would be a single religion today...After all, it's not like you hide it from any of us, going back to your tweets around the time of this year's Passover.
Kateg1 followed up with: "I wish others wouldn't [call Stras 'Jeezus'] but it's their right. It's also my right to think less of this reporter for endorsing the nickname."
As hellfire engulfed the Bog, washingtoncapsblog returned to the scene of the grime to add some unironic hilarity: "I didn't mean anything offensive with the last comment."
No offense taken, Mel Gibson WCB!
The debate over Strasburg's nickname won't die anytime soon, Lord willing. Like most Ecumenical neanderfucks, I'm really looking forward to a matchup between the Nats and the Orioles. One that would pit Stephen Strasburg against Matt Wieters.
Jeezus vs. God!
Yeah, Wieters has been nicknamed "God" since freshman year of college.
So who wins this faceoff? Would Jeezus/God be a Father/Son struggle, like Luke Skywalker v. Darth Vader or James Dean v. Jim Backus? Or would they decide they're playing for the same team and refuse to go at it?
There is one possible wrench to this. The lords of Nats baseball have decreed: On the Fifth Day, Jeezus Pitches...
If management sticks to its fifth-day schedule, Jeezus will be on the mount Sunday against Cleveland, then on June 18 against the White Sox, and June 23 against Kansas City and June 28 in Atlanta. The Nats/O's interleague series runs June 24-26 at Camden Yards. That means Strasburg won't be available for the games in Baltimore.
Unless, you know, some Act of God changes things...