City Desk

Morning Roundup: The Strangers With Candy Edition

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Good morning, folks. In case you missed it, oil's still gushing into our ocean, and the trial of Joe Price, Victor Zaborsky and Dylan Ward, charged with conspiracy, obstruction of justice and tampering with evidence in connection to the August 2006 murder of Robert Wone, continues today. Between knives, interrogation videos and a $1.2 million townhouse on Swann Street in Northwest–who needs Law and Order?

Strangers with candy never gets old. A Prince George’s County school bus driver was charged with producing child pornography yesterday. Silly man forgot his memory card filled with naked photos of a 7-year-old boy, reports WaPo. The memory card was left at the counter of a 7-Eleven in Clinton. The boy, identified by investigators, said Scott Smallwood, 27, was his “night” bus driver:

“…someone who “took him to church,” the records say.…The boy told officials that he had “sleepovers” with Smallwood and that Smallwood offered him candy.”

On the downside, venomous snakes are getting in early bites in Fairfax County this year. Copperhead snake sightings and non-fatal bites already abound–an uncommon occurrence. Infant snakes usually start slithering from their eggs between August and October. With all the weather confusion, they're probably just as confused as we are.

So between the stabbings, bitings and late-night bus rides, the man dying from chewing crack cocaine may have had it easy. At least it was painless? But he probably should have stuck with candy.

In other news, Metro is fucking old people over, and do people seriously believe vodka eyeballing is a new trend? I mean, teenagers do stupid things, but come on. Really??? It's about as smart as bro-icing.

The state of the world consistently befuddles me. Have a good day, everyone.

Photo by mateoutah. Creative Commons Attribution License.

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  • gdmt

    Kim Chi Ha is at it again. Today, child pornography apparently "never gets old". Never gets old as in, it's funny every time? Is that photo making light of dudes abusing children?

    You follow up the paragraph about child pornography with "On the downside". On the downside? What was the upside? Child pornography? Between the never gets old line, the photo, and the "on the downside", your inevitable apology won't really hold.

    I guess this is funny just like all black people are funny. Yesterday she asserted that all black people are funny recalling 19th century minstrel stereotypes.

    Look WCP, I know you guys have had a lot of people leave lately, but to put this bigot in charge of a morning roundup that makes light of child pornography after the racist line from a post yesterday seems pretty pathetic. Fire this moron.

  • Kim Chi Ha

    hm no the photo is not making light of doods abusing children. I believe it's a photograph of a 7-eleven domo eating candy corn.

    thank you for all your comments. have a happy tuesday, human.

  • gdmt

    of course it was. what else would it be referring to?
    can you also try to explain the "on the downside" line?
    what about the "never gets old" comment?
    I'd like to hear what bs you come up with for those.
    Also, the "human" line? Are you 12?

  • gdmt

    perhaps some of your city desk colleagues could offer their interpretation?

  • noodlez

    WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?

    HOMOSEXUALS CONSPIRING TO KILL HETERO. WHY ISNT ANYONE SCREAMING FOR HATE CRIME CHARGES AGAINST THESE COCKSUCKERS? WTF! THEY ARE IN A WIN-WIN. INNOCENCE WILL BRING THEM MORE GAY FREEDOM AND SO WILL JAIL IF THEY ARE FOUND GUILTY.

    WOW SCOTT "SMALLWOOD". WHAT A NAME TO HAVE FOR A CHILD MOLESTER. CANDY AND SLEEPOVERS! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. THIS SON OF A BITCH AND THE CHILDS PARENTS SHOULD BE LOCKED UP FOR LIFE. I BLAME THE PARENTS MORE THAN I BLAME THE PERVERT IN THIS CASE.

    DUMB MOFO YOU EITHER SMOKE CRACK OR YOU SWALLOW CRACK TO SMOKE OR SELL LATER. WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU TO "EAT IT" YOU DONT DO IT LITERALLY. ROOKIE!

    I KNOW RICK MANGUS IS MAD AS HELL AND WHINING ABOUT ALL THAT GOOD CRACK GOING TO WASTE.

    IN OTHER NEWS??? SERIOUSLY. IS VODKA EYEBALLING NEWS?
    VODKA EYEBALLING. I BET YA THAT IS SOME SHIT SOME WHITE BOY MADE UP.

  • http://rickmangus@aol.com Rick Mangus

    Hate Crime is a double edge sword, it cuts both ways!

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