City Desk

Cheap Seats Daily: What Sort of Clown Would Write an ‘Open Letter’ to Tiger Woods?

Today's Tiger Woods bits:

Michael Wilbon says Tiger's a better sportsman for getting caught with his pants down.

But that ain't the brainlessest thing written about Tiger lately. No, Wilbon's thesis reads like Malcolm Gladwell next to the efforts of CNBC's Larry Kudlow and FoxSports' Robert Lusetich. And the Denver Examiner's Rose Conley. And Rev. Ziegler over at TigerWoodsIsGod.com.

All have penned "open letters" to Tiger Woods.

They're all dumb as hell. Kudkow's and Lusetich's take the booby prizes, though. In his memo, Kudlow really just wants to confess to being an alcoholic; Lusetich, who is ID'd as having an "insider's look" book about the gofler ready for an April release, really just wants to confess to having a dad who's a better man than Tiger. Kudlow's is just sad and stupid. Lusetich is just mean, sad and stupid. Sounds to me like the Tiger revelations showed what a sham Lusetich's "insider's look" book pitch really was.

A representative passage from Lusetich's, um, open letter:

I've never looked at you as a role model.

You're a good guy — most people if they got to know you I feel sure would like you — and without question you're the greatest golfer I've ever seen and maybe even the greatest athlete, but I'm mature enough to set my own moral compass.

If I'm going to look to anyone, I'll choose my father, who was a good man, worked hard to provide for his family and, not to rub it in but here's the kicker, loved my mother dearly and would never have done a thing to hurt her.

Good god. How silly in the head do you have to be to write an unironic "open letter" to Tiger this week? Or ever?

I can't wait to see how righteous Lusetich feels when he finds out about that crazy lost weekend in Vegas back in '69 that his dad — a guy still remembered on The Strip as "Three-Legs Lusetich" — spent with...well, I'll leave the rest of the details for my open letter to Lusetich.

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(AFTER THE JUMP: More about that 1954 All-Star game? You tell readers again that it's the first integrated sporting event in DC Schoolboy history? You tell readers again that it deserves more attention? Dan Snyder, still near the top of the charts of NFL owners? The 2009 Redskins, playoff contenders? Too early to say next year's Skins will be loaded with talent?)

This Sunday, a party to bring together the public school stars of the 1954 City Championship football game will be held in District Heights, Md.

That was the first integrated schoolboy sporting event ever held in D.C., coming just months after the Supreme Court's Brown vs. the Board of Education ruling outlawed segregation. For all its groundbreaking attributes, that game has gotten almost no recognition until recently.

Called "Salute to the Trail Blazers," the District Heights gathering will feature Dan Droze and Dave Harris, the white passer and black receiver, respectively, of the first integrated touchdown pass ever thrown in DC schoolboy history. That fourth-quarter score won the game for the D.C. Public School all-stars, over undefeated and mighty and all-white St. John's at Griffith Stadium.

While in high school, Droze, who attended Anacostia, and Cardozo's Harris, were superstars in either the white or black community, but not both. Neither even knew of the other until the public schools' all-star team started practicing. But they have only recently become friends, and will also appear together on WPFW Saturday night at 8:30 p.m. to talk about the game, and about their reunion after 55 years.

If there's a better sports story out there right now, I haven't heard it.

The party and radio spots were put together by Harold Bell, longtime WOL sports-radio host and a man who knows more about vintage DC high school sports than anybody alive.

Dave Kane, the guy who brought Droze and Harris together last month as part of an ongoing effort to get people to pay attention to the 1954 game, will not be able to attend. Kane, a fine high school athlete on his own at DeMatha (Class of '60), was at Griffith Stadium all those years ago to cheer on his brother, St. John's star Jim Kane, now deceased. Dave Kane currently lives in Arizona, and tells me his many recent D.C. trips to get momentum going for some sort of documentary or memorial for that game have taken a physical and financial toll. He pledges to keep working on getting the game its due from out West.

"I'll get back there as soon as I can," Kane says.

Sunday's party in District Heights will also be used to raise money for Bell's youth charity. For more information, call 301-817-3180.

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The 2009 All City Bowl, with public school all-stars matched up against a select team made up of private and charter school players, will be held Saturday at Eastern Senior High School. This is the second year of the showcase, which was set up as a building block toward resurrecting the City Title game that was once the biggest event on DC's annual sporting calendar. (Yup, high school football used to be bigger than the Redskins around here. You can look it up.)

The City Title games were canceled after a race-riot broke out during a 1962 Eastern/St. John's matchup at D.C. Stadium.

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In today's Washington Post, Paul Farhi, still glowing from his first-ever profile of Dan Snyder's "henchman" Karl Swanson, stays on the Skins and hits more paydirt. Farhi talks to real ex-Redskins cheerleaders about Michaele (or is it "Michelle Ann") Salahi's stint as a fake ex-Redskins cheerleader.

This "Real Wives of DC" is quickly turning into "Borat."

I don't know if she should be able to dance or not, but if Michaele really had Redskins cheerleading experience, wouldn't she be real good at washing cars?

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Yesterday I came across and oldie but a goodie: Michael Silver at Yahoo Sports ranked Dan Snyder as the 3rd Best owner in the NFL.

Let's revisit Silver's, um, observations.

3. Washington Redskins – Daniel Snyder: When most fans hear Snyder’s name, they blurt out words to describe him that might not be suitable for network television. Here’s the first one that comes to my mind: Awesome. Snyder generates revenue like a money-printing machine (his team ranks first in the NFL, at a reported $312 million, and is also atop the league in sponsorship dollars), happily spends it to improve his franchise and makes his players – you know, the ones who destroy their bodies on Sundays for the pleasure of the masses – feel pampered and appreciated. He is the closest thing to former 49ers boss Eddie DeBartolo, and eventually he’ll get the rings to prove it.

What went down Sunday at Redskins Park tells you all you need to know about Snyder’s ownership style. While attending the Skins’ first practice of training camp, Snyder and executive vice president Vinny Cerrato winced as veteran defensive Phillip Daniels went down with a knee injury. On their way to lunch in the cafeteria, they learned that Daniels had suffered a season-ending torn ACL. After sitting down with coach Jim Zorn and defensive coordinator Greg Blache, they began discussing their options. “I want to win,” Snyder told the group. “Let’s do what we have to do to win.” Concluding that disgruntled Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor was by far the best player they’d have a chance to acquire, Snyder gave the go-ahead to make a trade. Before finishing his meal Cerrato was on the phone with Parcells, Miami’s executive vice president of football operations, discussing a trade for the 2006 NFL defensive player of the year. By that evening the deal was done, with Washington giving up second- and sixth-round draft picks, and Snyder agreeing to shell out $16 million over two years, the remaining money on Taylor’s contract. Because of Snyder’s aggressive approach, the ‘Skins were able to acquire Taylor before their NFC East rivals, the Giants, could work out a three-way trade with the Dolphins and Saints that would have sent Taylor to New Orleans for second- and fifth-round picks, followed by a swap of Taylor for tight end Jeremy Shockey...When Snyder finally hoists the Lombardi Trophy one of these years, it might be worth biting your tongue – at least in front of the kids.

This summer, Silver was still full of silver linings when he looked to Redskins Park. Here's what Silver forecast for the 2009 Skins:

These guys have a postseason push in them, and with Jason Campbell giving off that you-shouldn’t-have-underestimated-me vibe, I’m sensing another fast start and a second-place finish behind the 'Boys.

In his latest column, after saying that Jim Zorn's a goner, Silver observes "there’s still a lot of talent here for the next regime to build around."

I smell another wayward prediction in Silver's future for 2010! I mean, it's brave for any writer to take Nostrodamusesque shots — other than dropping the occasional Guaranteed Win Night™, I'm afraid to predict the sun will come up in print. But Dick Cheney's got better aim than Silver. Though maybe Silver's angling for Larry Weisman's job...

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Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

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  • Comrade Al Gonzales

    Dear Tiger, Next time you're in DC I'll be your wingman. Sincerely, me. Where's The Great Dan Steinberg? He wanted to play the feud last night, but I got too stoned to post.

  • Woodley Parker

    Wilbon and Jason Whitlock are asses. And if anyone writing an "open" letter to Tiger Woods thinks that he will actually read it, they are sadly mistaken. Tiger's too busy hiding in his multimillion-dollar mansion in Florida.

  • DR

    McKenna- I love that you think Gladwell is a smart guy and good writer. He has become exposed as a fraud especially his latest screed on draft ranking having no correlation to qb success.

    Angry Al drug user- shocking development

    How anyone can take Wilbon seriously is beyond me.

    Silver is typical dumb liberal. Annoyingly so....unlike you dave- you're a likeable lib- rare in these parts

    If campbell is on the team next year_ I'm done with the Skins....not really, but that would be an outrage.

    Campbell is a walking confirmation of Limbaugh's hypothesis about McNabb's hype.

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  • Warren Simonton

    I thought the Eastern St. Johns game was the first year that DC Stadium opened-1961. What was the exact date?

    Thanks

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