“No One Wants To Date Me Because I’m Asian”
The online dating site OkCupid has some interesting – though, let's be honest, not entirely surprising – findings about its users when it comes to racial attitudes. After analyzing the messaging habits of nearly 1 million people, the site concludes this: Your race is a pretty big factor in determining whether a message you send out into the online dating ether will be answered – and, for some groups, whether a person will date you at all.
Among the findings:
- Black women are by far the most likely to reply to a first message. But they do not feel the love back. "Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race – including other blacks – singles them out for the cold shoulder," OkCupid found.
- White men get more responses – from almost every group. Despite their popularity – or because of it? – they are the worst responders, replying about 20 percent less often than non-white men.
- White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else, and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three categories of women respond well only to white men. "More significantly," OkCupid reports, "these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%." And, while white women have an "above-average compatibility" with almost every group, they reply well only to "guys who look like them."
Very few people in any racial group considered interracial marriage a "bad idea." Still, in assessing users' answers to "match questions," OkCupid found that 45 percent of whites prefer to date people of their own race, compared to just 20 percent of non-whites. That preference was even more pronounced among white women: 54 percent, preferred to date white men.
Blogging about the findings at dmbosstone.com, Patrick Pho of Arlington, Va., lamented: "No One Wants To Date Me Because I'm Asian." He described himself as a – gulp – "Twinkie," or an Asian man with a lot of white friends who ends up adopting those white friends' likes and tastes – including when it comes to women. He likes white women, is what he's saying. "What sucks is that White girls don’t like Asian guys," he wrote.
Sometimes I joke that I want to be white.
What I don’t tell you is that I want to be white so white girls would actually like me.
In today’s world we are changing the way we think about race in the workplace and life- but I can’t help but think there’s still a lot of hardwired racism I have to fight when it comes to physical attraction. I could have the best personality in the world but I doubt that’s going to make that brunette across the way like me any more if she’s into white guys.
Because I’m not a white guy, but sometimes I want to be.
Happy dating!
Comments? Ideas? I'm at eniedowski@washingtoncitypaper.com, or on Twitter.
5:08 pm
Being gay is very depressing and stressful if you are black, but having to deal with white boys who look like Alex O’Loughlin reject you is overwhelming. I look forward to my death. I ask God, why did he create blacks to be ugly, with nappy hair, and Negroid features? Light skin black men who look almost white or Hispanic are seen as attractive by most white gay men. As a former student at Georgetown University here in Washington, D.C., I knew I was gay, because I was attracted to white male students or the white Puerto Rican/Hispanic students. Yes, the majority of Hispanics at Georgetown, Catholic, American, and George Washington Universities are white and come from mostly affluent families in their countries. White gay men can never compare their plight to that of black people, because being born of the Caucasian race in the United States give one privileges.
I am on the gay website Adam4Adam in Washington, D.C. You should read many of the white gay men comments; they are not into black men. The one’s who say they are into Hispanic men, when they met me, they say, you are black. Hispanic is not a race of people. Hispanics can be of any race. Depression is a difficult illness to deal with in this society cause by being gay and cannot come out or be accepted by family, Puerto Ricans/Hispanics, or blacks. Our culture is different than that of white gay males. White gay males can shut their families out if they don’t accept them and be accepted in the mostly white gay community. Non white gay men cannot get this type of support. I can assure you, if I had a white male like Alex O’Loughlin or a white Puerto Rican like Carlos Ponce, I would be the happiest black Hispanic man on earth. lol David, please review sites listed below of Carlos Ponce and Alex O’Loughlin.
http://www.carlosponce.com/
http://hubpages.com/hub/Alex-OLoughlin
2:37 am
I don't find Asian men or woman to be attracted. Both have flat asses. The Asian men have little dicks and the Asian women have little tits and no ass.
5:02 pm
Way to prove the point, dude.
5:36 pm
I'd be interested in learning how many white men respond to the Asian and Hispanic women; as an Indian (South Asian) woman, I notice disproportionate numbers of white men/non-white women couples in the (ultra) conservative town I live in. Further, it is very rare for my male relatives to date or marry white women, whereas the women in my family who were born/raised in the U.S. typically only date white men.
5:49 pm
Hey U.S. Citizen,
Better to have a little dick than BE a BIG DICK like you.
6:22 pm
Most men think Asian females are excellent. South Asian, East Asian, they all make great girlfriends. Asian chicks rule!
7:29 pm
Angry Al Gonzales, you are a homosexual man. When did you start liking women?
7:31 pm
I agree with U.S. Citizen. I don't find Asian women to be attractive. They are not built right. I am a white Argentinean. I prefer white or white Latina women.
8:25 pm
I am Asian(Chinese) male and I perfer to date whites, and guess what I am not small at all.
11:07 pm
Thanks to Feministing in pointing this site out.
Why should these results be a surprise? MOST people want to date someone of their own race. However, it seems like alot of men these days are totally turned off by American women, so they go for asians or latinas. Most white men will not date african american women online, or even message them back after looking at their profile. This is my experience with many of my friends, and watching some forums on plentyoffish, where men say exactly the same thing.
My girlfriend is latina, and she tells me these things she sees working at the restaurant where she works: White men are never with african americans, asian girls are only with white men, and noone wants to date the latinas. Heheh...lucky for me!!!
1:31 am
Thanks also to Feministing for pointing this out. I'm a white female, and a lot of my white male friends are only into Asian women (East Asian - mostly Japanese). I'm not sure if they think being with Asian women makes them more powerful because they're physically smaller (or for other cultural reasons) or just because they love the exotic - but I can tell you that it's excruciatingly frustrating. What's up with singling people out? I think all "races" are sexy!
8:37 am
I'm a white male and I find Asian women to be the most attractive of any group, particularly women from the Philippines. It is not because I'm "racist" or look down on non-Asian people in any way. I just find their physical attributes and culture to be attractive. Some men prefer blonds, some prefer brunettes, I prefer Asians. It's not racism, it's just a preference. I'm also tired of the stereotype that men "seek Asian women" because they're "submissive". That's not true anyway. My wife is Filipino and most of her female co-workers and parents at the day care center where she works are afraid of her.
10:24 am
Women don't like Asian men because your peenor is too small.
4:13 pm
So the asian man is lamenting the fact that the white women he likes won't date him? The women he likes because of their race won't date him because of his race. He's a victim of racism! How tragic. It brings to mind the wise words of Bill Kristol: "White women are a problem, that's, you know -- we all live with that."
11:10 pm
Why is it racist to have preferences? Is it "hairest" to prefer brunettes? Is it "eyist" to prefer blue eyes? Is it "tallist" to prefer tall people? We're not talking about saying hateful things (though some of these responders are), we're talking about PERSONAL PREFERENCES. We're allowed. Get over it. As for the Asian guy who prefers white women but they're racist because they don't choose him: Look in the mirror! You're a sexist. You're saying that as a man you are entitled to your preferences but woemn are not.
2:16 am
Also, thanks to feministing for pointing this out.
I think there's a certain amount of validity to the argument about preferences and physical attraction, yeah, but I think the point of the article in exhibiting OkCupid's studies (which I always find fascinating), is that an online site is NOT a reliable place to find/evaluate genuine sexual attraction or interpersonal chemistry... Therefore, it SHOULD, at least, in terms of initial messages and flirting, not have anything to do with basic appearance and body type. (Because, seriously, if you think that hot chick isn't wearing make-up or trusting out her chest in those photos, you're missing something on the concept of asthetic photo-cropping....) But what's really shocking about it simply that, it doesn't.
Online dating SHOULD offer a chance to get to know someone's personality, rather than their pure physical appearance that you can judge in less than 5 seconds... Because a five second glance at a photo, can only really tell you that a person is "darker skinned", you can't actually evaluate even tonalities of different colors of "blackness" (I apologize for such a crude word) or "asian-ness"... And definitely can't give you a good idea of who the person is-- for that, you have to at least instigate a few initial messages. Which means that these results indicate that people are reacting to purely racial assumptions, and not the people themselves.
Assumptions like: Asian men have small dicks. Asian women have no ass. Black women have big asses. White men are affluent. Etc. And I think that really is pretty telling.
2:37 pm
I think maybe the reason no one wants to date Mr. Pho is that he hates himself. Whining that people he wants to date don't want to date him can't be very attractive to potential dates. His attitude is that everything is beyond his control and he just can't win with white women, and I know I wouldn't want to date a person with that attitude, no matter what race he or I were; if I were white I would feel like he just had a fetish, if I were any other race, I would feel like he was asinine and shallow.
There are people from many different races that I am attracted to, and there are people from those same races that I am not. I'm sure Mr. Pho doesn't find all white women attractive, he most likely has a type, like willowy, tall brunette, and that's fine, but framing a type as a race issue IS racist.
I find the study fascinating, but I also wonder about the other factors that play into the responses. I'm a Chicana--third generation US born with Mexican ancestory--and there would probably be two big reasons I would not respond to people on a dating site, based on my own racial backround. 1)I don't always feel "Hispanic enough", I was raised in schools and communities without much Hispanic influence, and I don't know or understand many traditions or rituals, I also do not speak Spanish, so if a Hispanic man approached me talking about a shared backround, I might feel too lacking in common ground with him. 2)I often hear men(usually white or black men, occasionally Hispanic men) who have fetisized Hispanic women, who call me "mami", automatically assume I speak Spanish because of my name or display other prejudice traits. If a man did something similar via a dating service, I would write him off without hesitation. Maybe the women of all races who are not responding are not responding because of similar reasons, not simply because of racial factors.
7:24 am
What about mixed-race people like me?
12:51 pm
If you're cool, you get action no matter what you are. Not cool, no action. Simple as that.
& peenor, did you do some survey for your theory :) Anyway, some Asian guys started a porno-gangster films just to prove their "manliness". Whatever.
People are people. If you're cool, you'll get lots of action.
12:54 pm
"Why is it racist to have preferences? Is it “hairest” to prefer brunettes? Is it “eyist” to prefer blue eyes? Is it “tallist” to prefer tall people? We’re not talking about saying hateful things (though some of these responders are), we’re talking about PERSONAL PREFERENCES."
Preferences that are race based are RACIST PREFERENCES. Eventually folks with such racist preferences will end up like Justice of Peace Bardwell.
"We’re allowed. Get over it."
Agreed. However we are also allowed to have preferences..the preference to call you a racist. So you do according to your preference, and we will do according to ours. I will respect your Racist Preferences..please reciprocate and respect our preference to call you a racist!
12:59 pm
Thanks also to Feministing for pointing this out. I’m an Indian male, and a lot of my white female colleagues are only into white men (any white skin will do, even Lebanese moslems who look white and have nothing in common with white American women). I’m not sure if they think being with only white men (or someone with white skin color or Caucasian features) makes them more superior and make it easier for them to maintain white privilege- but I can tell you that it’s excruciatingly frustrating. What’s up with singling people out? I think all “races” are sexy!
1:22 pm
Culturally, for South-Asians (Indians, Pakis, Lankans, etc.), white people, and indians who have similiar physical characteristics, were always promoted as being a superior class of people. I was raised in MD and whenever my family and I went to the temple, we were always given preferential treatment because of our appearance. The "darker" indian girls were always into us, but we were never allowed to date them because our family looked down on them. My parents marriage was arranged and their parents before them. And it would be difficult to find a "dark" indian in our family. The British used this system to control their colonies when it was a colonial power. As a result, this idea of white superiority got embedded into our pysche. We had a air of superiority to us that quickly got deflated when we entered the real world. Because in this country, if you're not "genetically" white, you're fucked.
In College I was approached by white girls because of my exotic look, but I was never "attracted" to them in the same way that I was to my darker skinned country-women (think forbidden fruit). That's not to say I didn't have a blast sleeping with girls from different races. I slept with a lot of them, black girls, white girls, Japanese, mulatto, lebanese, mexican, italian, greek. It was great, but the best for me was a dark-skinned Indian girl. I miss her to this date. I'm set to marry a light-skin Indian girl from Kashmir because I'm not man enough to tell my parents I can't. If I could, I would say, forgot races, follow your heart or your um, you know...
9:51 pm
Wow. Seriously people.
who cares about race. its whats inside that matters. Im a white female & ive seen cute guys from ALL races. & more importantly, ive seen people with great personalities from ALL races!!!
stereotyping is a big problem. not just racism, but stereotyping. for example, some people think that all african-americans are gangsters, which isnt true. & even if they are 'gangster', it doesnt stop them from having strong loving hearts. or, i have overheard a group of african-americans saying once how they thought caucasian ppl were all jocks & preppy. its not true, trust me.
so, how about we all get over what we first see & get to actually know people before judging them? cuz long-lasting relationships are mostly loving each other for who they are inside, not outside (well that too, buy not nearly as much)
if you are feeling a lil bit of racism still:
read "bronx masquerade" by nikki grimes. AMAZING BOOK!!!!
6:43 am
So basically we asians have the hardest in dating...if people date theere own race..yet asian women going to white guys then..who's left for us..since white girls don't like asian guy cuz of small penisis.sorry mr.pho its hard to be asian cuz we not in the media...so we don't have much popularity...ya sucks to be us..
6:48 am
And btw I'm like the perfect guy too...I'm super funny..everyone loves to be around me..I have a great body..I drive a nice bmw..I'm super smart.cuz I've beem going to schhol forever...I work a good job for the state of ca..I can sing and play piano. I do volunteer work...and on top of that i ve done modeling..so I'm very handsome/.....yet...dese stupid girls never get to see that cuz I'm asian...can't bypass that...I guess we fuked...cuz dese whiteboys takin asian women now and white girls which I prefer too don't like us..
3:58 am
"sexyguy":
I am an Asian guy too. Korean-American.
You claim you're sexy, smart, educated, talented, employed, and so forth.
That's great and I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately you sound more like a semi-literate and whiny school boy in your posts, than a "perfect guy", which is what you call yourself.
So just going by simple logic it's clear that it's not your appearance, looks, talents, education, or job that's the problem. It's your total and utter mental castration by the hands of a society that is hell-bent on treating you, an American Citizen and a decent man, like a cockroach. All while accepting Asian women with open arms. We all know that old dance, don't we?
Which brings me to this point: I don't disagree with you that it's very hard to date, find love, or just fuck women, as an Asian-American man. America as a society takes visceral joy in pounding the punching bag - and while black men were that until the 1960s, white people have discovered that since they can't dump all their frustrations on the "negro" anymore, they're going to do it to the next best thing: immigrants. That means guys like us, and also Mexicans and other Latin American men.
I don't buy any of the hollow posturing about it being illegal and immoral to discriminate on the basis of race, but the personal prejudices of white Americans still linger - even those of the so-called "liberals" that love to date Asian women but reject Asian men. These people are some of the most unbelievably racist people I have ever met: and worse yet, they masquerade as "anti-racists" which is utter bullshit - so again, I'm with you bro. I speak from experience, as I have been to almost all 7 continents in the world (except Antarctica, which has no women anyway). I have been able to meet women fairly easily in Asia, Latin America, Europe (yep, even the blondes), Australia, Africa, and so forth.
So believe me when I say how sympathetic I am to your plight. I feel you.
But there's just something about the posts you just made that rubs me the wrong way. You're literally whining ("then who's left for us... boo hoo hoo"), and on top of that you can't seem to write (your writing is peppered with ellipses ("dot-dot-dots") - what's that about?). So without meaning to, you're showing us just WHY you're REALLY single.
A hint: it's not because you're Asian. It's because you whine too much (Every guy get's rejected a LOT - regardless of race!)and you don't have any balls to stand up and keep asking women out until someone says 'yes'.
4:02 am
sexyguy:
In the last sentence, I meant to say that the racism and hypocrisy in Americans is not the ONLY factor. Hope that clarifies things a little bit.
My point is that if you really ARE that great (with all the talents and accomplishments you mentioned above) - then the only thing that's holding you back is your lack of confidence.
Despite everything I've said about my fellow white Americans and the hypocritical posturing regarding race, there are actually a surprising number of them who would date Asian men and lustily fuck us in the sack. I know from experience - you just have to come at them the right way, and your way DEFINITELY isn't the right way, unfortunately.
4:07 am
Cotton Candiii:
Sorry babe. Until you put your money where your mouth is and actually date/sleep with/love an Asian-American man, your "Color doesn't matter!" speech is nothing more than the "colorblind" rhetoric vomited onto the American public by closet racists that masquerade as anti-racists.
Remember: if you would sleep with a black man, but not with an Asian or Mexican-American guy, that still makes you a racist. Jumping in the sack with a black man isn't a ticket out of 'racist hell', which is what some white folks seem to think. Just ridiculous.
Anyone can bump uglies with someone or even someTHING - that's just not deep at all.
So again: put your money where your mouth is. And I challenge all white women reading this to do the same.
8:06 pm
In my believe, ladies are ladies. If u have the right looks and personality and they find u attractive then its on. I myself is an Asian American and I've met a fair amount of different females from different races. Its not about size or anything. Its about how you would approach the ladies. And sexyfreak, quit it with the whinning and balls up. I agreed with those two who posted before me because they opinon seem to be more correctly than them other Asians.
12:52 am
I guess I just don't fit in the statistic... Because generally I find myself being more attracted to non-white males pretty much exclusivley. Especially if they are Asian. (East and South Asian). Not because I think there is anything inherently wrong with white guys. In fact I find many white guys extremely attractive or they're just really awesome guys. Physically though, I just find Asian men more attractive. And attraction is the intial step to forming a relationship (well at least at a young age like myself). I'm always deeply insulted when someone insinuates that I only like Asian men, because I am a self-hating white girl and hate white men. False. I am proud of my heritage, but being from a mixed background myself (Metis/Irish/Icelandic) I see nothing wrong with dating outside your racial or ethnic group. I have dated both asians and whites.
But I have seen, first-hand the attitude that this article says exists. When I was sitting with my "white friends", one of the girls commented on how she could never ever find a brown guy attractive and she thought they were gross. This comment cut me deep as I was dating a Sri Lankan guy at the time and I thought he was one of the most attractive (looks AND personality) guy I knew. Needless to say... I don't associate much with those "friends" anymore.
Not just my white friends, but my asian friends seem to have a particular loathing towards asian men, prefering white males. It baffles me.
Now not to end on a cliche note, but I don't like a guy JUST because he's Asian. His personality matters too. He could be a totally hot Asian guy, but if he's a total jerk, I don't want to date him, Asian or not. And I'm not saying "oh Asians have the better personalities." Because that is not true. Your race cannot define your personality, everyone is an individual. Being kind or intelligent or funny doesn't have anything to do with black/white/asian/hispanic/brown etc.
Currently single though, if only a nice, cute Asian guy would ask me out... I find Asian guys have the preconcieved notion that white women do not like them. Which I can't blame them for, but because of this they don't approach us white girls. And I am far too shy and old-fashioned to approach a guy myself. =(
To all the Asian guys out there!!! Stay Sexy. You'll find someone out there. Asian/White/Black or whatever you're looking for. =)
12:57 am
The key is to get out from behind the computer and meet people in person where they can actually get to know you, instead of classifying you with a bunch of check marks.
4:43 pm
As a Caucasian girl who gets hit on everywhere she goes (not trying to be all that, just true) I have to say that White men are overrated by Asian women. Some of my Asian girlfriends think I am nuts for loving Asian guys, while they are so hung up on Nabisco men with bank accounts, knowing I can get any man I want. The truth is, Asian guys know how to pay attention to a woman like no other man I've known (believe me I've known them all), and I am not talking about gifts and such--I am talking about romance and ehem-staying power. I've had marathons with Asian guys for as long as 12 hours--I mean all day long, into the night, and then a night cookie too before sleepy time. This is pretty typical of an Asian man. Granted, I am talking about pretty quality Asian guys, but still, I have never had even remotely as powerful sexual experiences with a non-Asian. I guess that's why there are so many of them--tee hee.
4:47 pm
Oh, and they make more money than any genetic race, statistically speaking, including Whites. So maybe I am a bit of a golddigger when it comes to my preference.
And that little stereotype. It actually applies more commonly to White men. I guess that is why they try to impose it on other guys so much, especially the ones they are most threatened by. With the brains, the money, the staying power, the good looks, (the list goes on) and all.
7:24 am
Maybe I'm mistaken but "sexyguy" sounds like a f*ckin' troll trying to pose as an Asian male but I digress...
Just as Blacks were once "invisible men" of American society, the elites of society have shifted their focus by placing targets on the backs of Asian men. That would explain why I never see an Asian male playing the lead role in a Hollywood romantic comedy simply because it poses a threat to the White male power structure as Madam Mystique mentioned. So to counter the threat, they will go out of their way to emasculate and burlesque Asian men while sleeping with as many Asian women to perpetuate the ill-conceived notion that White male = Alpha male. WRONG. Any Color Alpha Male = Alpha Male.
And for those who argue about the lack of marketability and profitability regarding Asian men, that argument is no longer valid due to globalization. The U.S. is not longer the hegemonic power it once was before. So its inevitable that women of all colors, especially White American women, will realize sexy Asian men do exist and aren't William Hung clones *Surprise Surprise*. Asian men are making their way into Hollywood from a blogpost I found a couple of days ago. http://masirjones.blogspot.com/2009/11/5-asian-men-changing-face-of.html
Furthermore, many Asian men such as Jake see through the bullshit institutional racism imposed upon us. They're not going to just sit back and take the abuse when there's a significant imbalance of White male/Asian female couples. Things are changing indeed.
3:30 pm
It is not racist to have preferences. But some preferences are rooted in Racism.
2:01 pm
I don't like to whine, but it is true - it sucks being an Asian guy and having to defend your masculinity. People stereotype us with all these horrible stereotypes. Even stereotype that we can't prove wrong until we get past the third base - I am talking about the small penis stereotype. How the hell do you fight that? Not only that our women stereotype us too - even Asian American guy born in America is being label as traditional and such.
May be it is a personal failure on my part, but the environment is not conducive for me to make a change, because no one give me a chance.
3:27 pm
Be proud to be ASIAN, be proud of your ROOTS and CULTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND BE PROUD OF YOURSELF!!!
I'm shocked by all that shit. First a human being is a human being mo matter if he is yellow, brown, black, pink or whatever. Poeple are judge on their behaviours and not on their origins. Poeple who behave differently don't deserve you spent your time to convince them.
Stop crying and show to everybody who you really are.
I wish I had a better english to express my feelings about it.
Everybody have their own frustrations!!! Don't focus in the fact that all this happended to you only because you are Asian because what can the white guy says if hecan't date any girl or friends (and trust me there are a lot of them too)?
You know you can't please everybody in your life, some poeple will appreciate you and some will don't like you. Try to focus on those who appreciate you.
If we go thru stereotypes, I will give you the so true bullshit on interacials dating:
1.We always want what we don't have.
2. There some reality also for me:
Why colored girls prefere to date White men? Because Colored Men are machos and and sometime tougher than white, especially the previous generation (how many asian girls want to finish at home cooking and watching the kids like their moms or going to work and then cooking and take care of the house?). It's easier with white men they are easy, you don't cook no problem when can go to the American ambassy to eat (Mc Donald, a little bit of humour), you don't take care of the house no problem I used to live in the junks...
Why white guys date coloured girls because of exotism and they also think that coloured women are dedicated but they will learn after... And also because they are too short for white women who prefer black guys... so they think that anyway I am longer than the Asian Guy so I won't be ashame by dating an asian girl... ah ah ah... we can all be stupid sometime...
I am Asian, I am short and so what, I have extraordinary wife (she's mixed french and asian, hummmm, wouaaaahhhhh) and kids, a good social level.
You are short in bed, it sucks for what 15mns but you're a king for the rest of your day!!! And if the girl tells you about it it is simply not the right girl for you keep searching.
Size does matter for a few girls (you can by a dong to satisfy them...), but sensuality, good massage knowledge and an amber tongue can make you the king!
Also don't be a looser, think positive. I had hundreds of girls before I met my wife (was bar tender in a hot night club of Paris) but not so many of them tell me about my size and not all of them like what we did together. Be positive in night club I saw so many guys stopping having fun and sat down to drink only because they we're refused a dance by one or two girls. Try hundreds so can't please to everybody.
Simply trust in yourself and be proud of you and what you do. Also make some work out everybody can do it, a good boby looking and a good shape can help you.
1:38 pm
I'm a Chinese-American male currently serving in the US Armed Forces... I've dated caucasian women in the past, and is currently dating one right now. Most of the posts in this thread are opinion based without any hard evidence to back them up. To make this short and sweet, race plays a minimal factor in dating or relationships. The reason you're not with your "interest" is because you as a person is not what they're looking for, and not just something as petty as being the "wrong" race.
10:50 pm
Just wanted to point out to all those rude dude's who say white chicks don't like Asian guys because they are lacking in the sexual area.
Going to tell ya, I'm white, with an asian Bf, and he doesn't lack anything from personality, manners, to the bedroom.
Too bad, more white chicks should realize that stereotypes are rumors spread by white dudes lacking confidence.
3:08 am
I am a Black woman and I feel like Black women have it the hardest when it comes to dating. No one ever wants to date Black women because of all the negative stereotypes out there and because of plain old racism. Many people seem to think that Black women are stupid, disgusting, and are the most unattractive women in the world and it really hurts and breaks you down even when you don't want it to. I find that White men, Asian men, Hispanic men, and even Black men do not want to date Black women and some find the idea repulsive and would never even consider it. It is hard living in a world where no one wants you. And I know many of you may say that people do not want to date me because I whine or because I am depressed but no one not even my friends know how I really feel and what I struggle with everyday. I always portray myself as being happy and confident and my friends love being around me; I always make them laugh. But I find myself hating myself more and more everyday because I am Black. I feel like I am being punished for something that I have not even done. I constantly hear people say that they would never date a Black woman and it is like a knife is going through my heart every time. I do not have a preference because I think all men of all races are sexy as long as they have the right personality. I am bisexual so I also like women and it is the same with women. When I say no one wants to date Black women, I mean it, NO ONE WANTS TO DATE BLACK WOMEN. I am living in misery, in constant hell. How would you feel if no one in the world wanted you and everyone found you repulsive just because of your race?
5:45 pm
(suicidal)
woah when i read that i felt as if it were me talking. im a black woman and i feel exactly the same except that i dont act happy. i am a very depressing person to be around and everyone thinks im a huge pessimist. i agree completely with everything your saying but maybe you should not see it like that. dont get me wrong, i HATE being black so much. but at the same time theres a lot of things i dont have to deal with. all of my pretty friends get hurt constantly by men. some have even tried to kill themselves. men are jerks. men are nasty. (women can be too but men usually dnt react as badly). considering has happened and keeps happening to them i feel like being black is both a blessing and a curse. and i dont mind being lonely in life. in sucks but thats the sad reality for most ugly black women. o well. life goes on.
o and about asians being gross... or whatever. asian men arent gross. they are the most attractive people ever but i thinks its more their attitude. towards me and everyone ive seen actually. very rude people. and i stay clear of them. asian men only women are fine. i hate them and always will. rude people arent worth anything
12:49 pm
So what? fxck em all. It's sad to see so many Asians has no pride in their heritage, where are your prides dude? we're the most ancient people in the world and we have the longest history. Sure, we were weak for a time, but nowdays 70% of world growth is because of us, and China's probably the only country that stand a chance against America. Japan's got the most advanced robot technology in the world and man, even the tallest buildings are in Asian countries now.
So what if some bitches and assholes don't find us attractive? Fxck em. The rate our people's going one day the whole world will be filled with Asians. When the time comes, you'll either have to inbreed to keep the race pure, die lonely or screw an Asian. (Indian included)
Seriously.... Some asian really needs to grow a dick and be a man, have pride and self confidence.
10:48 pm
Asian men need to learn how to flirt...
Surrounding yourself with other asian guys who "get it" seems to work the best.
Where do you find these guys?
==> Asian Alpha Male
6:47 am
I'm a white female and I haven't really witnessed this. I'm from Australia and I haven't met many black people at all. Many more asians. I know several girls white or not who find asian men very attractive. I've actually seen it as more of a reversal with asian men preferring asian women. Well, many people preferring asians in general. I would say that the tastes of most I know are very broad and not exclusive to certain races though. It's just about who they meet and happen to feel attraction for. I'd say there's much more against short guys. (short girls appear to be very attractive)
5:44 pm
mr pho is a sad person. hes is upset because he wants a white woman and white women wont date him because he is asian. get over your white superiority complex you loser.
5:45 pm
no one dates asians becasue they are weird, not because they are asian.
2:14 pm
(suicidal)
It's not true that "no one" wants you as a black woman.
I'm a black woman myself and I can tell you alot depends on where you live and which websites you may choose to go to. I am proud to be a black woman because I know our history, I think globally, and simply know better. Men are men, and if you are attractive (wide definition), have a good personality, and break out of any all-black circle you are in, you will see. And guess what? Those who have some kind of hangup are racist anyway and who wants to date them?? I feel sorry for the Asian women who date them because hate is hate and is like playing with fire.
And may I add: Usually, when a white man dates/marries a black women he prefers her to be DARK and loves her for who she is and does not need her to whitewash herself. She does not have to bleach her skin, cut her nose, straighten her hair, change the tone of her voice, hate other minorities, or deny her heritage, etc. to be with him.
Bw and wm are the original interracial couple, and studies show that their relationships are lasting ones and the numbers are growing. Black women are waking up and are no longer listening to angry black men who want to have their cake and eat it too (i.e, date white women then tell us to sit home).
Wake up!
10:14 am
Obviously I am a black female LOL.
But I am open to ANY race. Have dated Hispanics, Asians, Whites, and Blacks....even a nice Indian gentleman (from India...I loved his cooking!).
All I have to say is....assholes and bad men (cheaters, abusers, running from child support/their children, etc) come in ALL races/colors.
9:26 pm
My dic is almost bigger than your mouth how come you said all Asian have small dic? Sexually speaking I love hot cute women!! That is the way to go!
2:39 am
I'm Asian and every female wants to date me
Asian guys just need to step it up and they'll be fine...
Learn from other Asian males who just get it.
Where can you find guys like this?
==>Asian Pimp Status
6:02 pm
Well I must reply to the posts from black women saying nobody wants to date them.
Not true! I''m a white man and I generally prefer black women to white women and so do some others I know. Most of the black women I have known have ben far from the stereotypes that are pushed in the media and were beautiful, feminine and generally a delight to be with.
Don't believe the hype....
12:39 am
You people are so picky. When I was single I had few requirements: breathing and female. Beyond that everything else was negotiable.
6:52 pm
I think one of the reasons a lot men don't prefer Black women is because Black women are portrayed as strong individuals who don't take sh*t off anybody. Women are STILL supposed to be basically submissive. Of course Black women were never given the "chance" to be submissive since they had to, you know, do the white man's labor and work harder than anybody. Secretly though many men think Black women are very sexy and attractive.
White women and men are preferred because whiteness still denotes power and all us sad little monkeys will always scramble to "get with" what's powerful. Power=Beautiful, which is why whites are looked at as beautiful, with even people of color being considered "prettier" if they have more European features, Halle Berry anybody?
Asian women are adored and Asian men are abhorred because Asians as a whole are stereotyped as submissive and "feminine."
I think Black men are adored and Black Women are abhorred is because people of African descent, both men and women, are stereotyped with "hyper-masculine" qualities, which descend from the slavery era. This is why The Black Boyfriend is the ultimate bad boy for white women and why white guys secretly love but are scared to death of black women.
I'm a white woman who finds guys of different races attractive but I only seriously dated white guys, and if I'm perfectly honest with myself it's because deep down I know I would lose a healthy amount of white privilege if I ever entered into a serious relationship with a person of color.
4:32 pm
I have been on that site and honestly the data captured it very true! I am an African American female, and when ever I sent out a message I NEVER got one back. Not trying to put myself up there or anything, but I find myself to be quite attractive/very pretty, and I was very disappointed at the ''racism'' that was pouring out of that site. It really is true that black women are hated, viewed as ugly, and no one wants to date them! I am attracted to whites and Asians the most, but get nothing but views from OTHER BLACK GUYS! It’s a dark world for our race, and even thou I am light skinned it doesn't change anything. This world can make you really hate being yourself, make you look forward to your death! Sometimes I see little white girls posting silly stuff like ''do you think I’m pretty'' polls... THEY DON'T KNOW HOW GOOD THEY HAVE IT!!! I wish I was looked at as pretty so I would AT LEAST BE GIVEN A CHANCE to show my unconditional love! That site was the last straw and I gave up on online dating. Once upon a time I use to be open to meeting guys from different race in public places, now I just view them from a far thinking, ''he is not even paying attention to me'', ''that black guy is looking why won't he'', ''he probably thinking I am ugly anyway'', ''trying to talk to him would be suicide!'' I see a potential guy every 20 mins in my day and this is what I think EVERY TIME because that is how low I have been shown to be! They hate us! I am not loud, I am not ghetto, I am EXTEMELY sweet and yet I am hated for something I do not fully understanding! Now image how good you got it!
7:23 pm
I'm a white girl and I love Asian guys! I have lots of white girlfriends who also love them lol, and I know lots of interracial couples. Maybe I just notice them more because I like seeing them, lol. It really depends where you look. If you are an Asian guy who wants other than an Asian girl, def try to take an East Asian class of some sort, you will be guaranteed to meet girls who are into Asian guys.
1:26 am
Life has taught me a lot.One of the lessons that came from is to see people for what they are.
When I read about that article it kind of remind me of my prior days of thinking.Back then, I wanted my ideal man must be at least 6'1-6'5, about 230 lbs,must have a great since of humor. Even though I had these then qualities for him to have, I didn't discriminate on who it had to be for. At that time I wanted all races of men to fit this criteria. I was young with a then abstract way of thinking.
As a child, I watched STAR TREK. There were three characters on that show that I liked on there, Dr.Spock( Leonard nimoy), Uhuru( Nichelle Nichols) and Sulu( George Takei). My mom and I would watch this program because of them. Spock( i thought that he was unique) Uhuru( I thought that she was pretty Black woman and not having barely any Black models her image really helped me ) and then there was Sulu.( That man has a very sexy voice). I liked to hear him talk and not he wasn't bad looking either.
Far as my initial impressions of Asian men,I knew most of them from Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia. The Vietnamese tripped me out.They seemed( At least the ones that I've met)were so full of life. Far as men, I found them to be sexy because of how they they talked. The Asian Guys I came across had deep sexy voices. Some were short some were average height and one or two was over 6 feet,but no mstter how they looked their way of talking just made them look good.
Since I can remember I've always lead a diverse life. I guess because how i lived and what my folks taught me about life. I've been attracted to all races, nationalities. It did matter. I've been attracted to an african-american man with one leg. He was cute and such a great guy--the predominate reason that I liked him.
From initial glances, we see the outsides of the person,but I try my best to see people from the heart. I don't " look" for men, I let nature take it's course. If it's meant for me to get married,have kid or to be single for the rest of my life, and if he just happens to be Black/non-Black that's all good.
I believe that some people may miss out on finding the loves of their lives is because ,for some they may have frivolous expectations of what they want in their spouses.
I have looked at several IR websites and for the most part i enjoy going on them. While there are some people who are sincerely on there to celebrate their love, there are some others who are stereotypical about why they want to be in one . Love isn't just an emotion, it's kind, colorblind, long suffering,tolerant and beautiful.
For the time being, I love the single life, but for any man that I get, I would like for him to be a respectful individual who understand the meaning of commitment, to see me as his equal, to love me, his family and his community--Just a man that people would look up to.Any man can be this.
9:35 am
I’m amused by this article, I also got a kick out of the many bigoted responses but anyway I just wanted to voice out a little something here; I'm a Chinese-American male, I came to this country when I was 5 (I'm 39 now) and throughout my childhood years in Elementary, Middle, to Jr High and High school I had the most amazing times with girls from all races and backgrounds. When I was in second grade, I had a really cute green-eyed / pale skinned Mexican-American girl, she was a doll (like 'Darla' from "The Little Rascals") and I’ll never forget her. As I got older during my teen years towards the the Jr High period, my first serious girlfriend was a Yugoslavian-American girl with golden curly locks; we were just like any other teenie-bopper at the tender age of 14.
As time progresses to my late teens and early 20's, I went out with three more Mexican/American girls, a Swiss girl, a French/Vietnamese, and two older Asian women (one from Taiwan - 33, and an Asian/American from Berkeley, CA - 37, I was between 20 and 23 at the time). Again, fast-forward to age 25, I got into my first serious relationship with an Irish/American. She was a full-blown blond, green-eyed, tall and also a bit older. A real nice person to be around with for a very long time, we had the best of times, but eventually we've parted. I now look back and thought to myself; I had it all, and as a Chinese-American fellow I didn't knew or felt anything negative other than the norm. I guess I was just being myself and cherished life. I don't know, but maybe people see me as a person that loves life and cherishes his surroundings. My only flaw (I think) was that I got bored very easily during a relationship, I should be married by now but I'm not. I am more serious these days and have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend (a Middle/Eastern girl) for 9 years now.
I don’t get it, these stories really; people crying, complaining, other people making fun and the stereotyping. I Read them and I laughed. So, as an Asian guy, I'm not complaining. It is amusing to me reading the article, especially towards the person who wrote it.
4:31 am
It's okay, nobody wants to date me because I am black, male and accomplished in my own unique way. I am that invisible class of black men who never get mentioned ever. I am not the thuggy ghetto trash. So I do not exist, except only when people want to hate on me. Black, white , Asian it doesnt matter. Being rejected is one thing. Being treated like a non-person by everyone is another. Women ignore me and hate me. I have never known a good woman. I am ignored everywhere. That is my life. IIn reality I am hated more than a ghetto trash thug. At least people understand him. I am that 1% of 1% that people do not understand. And it terrifies them more so than a man with a gun. Living a with a target on my head because I have a mind is the worse feeling of all. I am working hard to try and leave the usa forever in order to be free ofthis nightmare. I hate htis country with a passion and my life here. It is horrible as a man to live like this and this way. And to be completely invisible to everyone. Never feel bad man. Things may be bad but at least you are not like me.
7:03 am
How about the short guyz !
I am 5'4 and more hated then blacks.
1:26 am
I love asisn men! Aside from the awesomeness of them in bed and oh so smooth skin they are hardly ever out of shape and aim to please. I don't know why you have had problems dating. But I really don't think all that in a package is a bad thing.
5:20 am
alice, have you been a whore for long? How do you deal with the STDs?
2:44 am
Asian men are hot as. I love every thing about them they are so perfect. Every thing i mean there arms, legs i want to and need to marry one, its tear me apart some thing bad i cant find one i dont know where they hang or what they do. Bring it on any time little man lol.