City Desk

Cheap Seats Daily: Portis Wants You to Get Your $700 Worth?

Even in the NFL, employees take their cue from the boss. So all the Redskins are feeling persecuted these days.

"Our media have been our harshest critics," whined Mike Sellers during his media session yesterday.

He's the fullback who dropped what would have been a touchdown pass from Jason Campbell in Sunday's game with the Rams.

Sellers' comments, which were aired repeatedly on WTEM-AM, Snyder's sportstalk station, and rival WJFK-FM, also included a rant about how one of his Redskins coaches told the players that reporters in other towns where he'd coached were much better cheerleaders than DC's.

"Instead of boosting you," Sellers said of local scribes, "they kind of tear you down."

If you make a touchdown catch, Mike, I bet even some folks around here will write that you made a touchdown catch.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Now Cooley's whining, too? Portis admits a day at FedExField is money well wasted? Should Olie Kolzig have waited until NHL training camps opened before retiring? What? NHL training camps are open? Have you spent your Guaranteed Win Night winnings yet? Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman, the sluggingest sluggers in DC baseball history? So it's the pitching?)

All the Redskins are victims these days. We all know by now that even inactive linebackers are so hurt by the lack of unconditional love that they feel they've got license to Twitter that fans are "dim wits" and slam folks who don't make as much money as NFL players.

Then Skins management makes things worse by putting out a press release accusing the Washington Post of putting a negative slant on stories about the inactive linebacker who Twitters that fans are "dim wits" and slams folks who don't make as much money as NFL players.

Even self-styled wild and crazy guy Chris Cooley showed his thin-skinnedness on his blog yesterday: "There is a reason that fans are fans," wrote Cooley. "My job is to play tight end and yours is to cheer loud. To be the best 'we' all gotta play our roles."

Geez. Even Cooley?

That's really sad.

***

Clinton Portis was zigging as teammates and management zagged.

While explaining what might have led fans at FedExField to make unhappy noises, Portis, who might say anything on any given day, gave the greatest quote of the 2009 season, at least up through Week 2: "You're spending $700 a week to come out and see some entertainment," he said, "and you get there and there's really not a lot of entertainment."

I think somebody read Portis "The Emperor's New Clothes" during his formative years.

***

Olie Kolzig has retired. It's not big news here or anywhere, which is sorta sad.

Here's how far back Kolzig goes with the Caps: Kolzig played a couple games with the big-league club in the 1989-1990 season.

That's the Caps team that made it all the way to the conference finals, before losing to the Boston Bruins, and might have had the most talented roster in franchise history.

But the squad was quickly blown up because of a city-rocking sex scandal that grew out of the season-ending party to celebrate the successes. An underage guest claimed to have been gang-raped by Caps stars in a limo outside Champions, the Georgetown bar hosting the bash. The allegations never led to any criminal charges, and the 17-year-old accuser didn't file any civil suits.

But all the players involved – Scott Stevens, Dino Ciccarelli, Geoff Courtnall, and Neil Sheehy — were quickly shipped out of town, forcing the Caps into a long rebuilding phase.

Where were we? Oh, right. Olie Kolzig retired. Quite a career. I'm sure Kolzig's  announcement would have gotten a lot more attention if he'd waited to make it until hockey camps opened.

What's that? It's started? The Caps have already played how many preseason games?

Really? Does anybody know?

Oh. Anyway: Happy retirement, Olie.

***

The Dodgers had the bases loaded with one out and the game tied in the top of the ninth and couldn't score. The Nats get a stolen base and an L.A. error in the bottom half and get the victory.

That's just a bump along the Road to 100 Losses™...but, the big news is: Guaranteed Win Night™ comes in AGAIN.

Don't spend it all in one place...until directed otherwise by Cheap Seats Daily!

Ryan Zimmerman had a three-run HR yesterday. Zimmerman and Adam Dunn are now among the most dynamic slugging duos in Washington baseball history.

They've now got 69 home runs and 203 RBI between them so far.

Zimmerman and Dunn already have more RBI than any pair of DC boys of summer since the 1930s. For some perspective, I consulted (who else?) Phil Wood about the Nats' 2009 numbers, and he learned me that in 1932 Joe Cronin and Heinie Manush had 116 RBI apiece, and a year later Cronin had 118 and Joe Kuhel 107 RBI.

No two Washington players have notched 100 RBI each since 1959, when Harmon Killebrew had 105 and Jim Lemon drove in 100.

In homers, Zimmerman and Dunn are now tied with Alfonso Soriano and Nick Johnson of the 2005 Nats, who also had 69, and trail only Mike Epstein (30 HRs) and Frank Howard (48) of the 1969 Washington Senators.

And yet the 2009 Nats are still going to lose a lot more than 100 games!

I'm no Casey Stengel, but looking at these numbers, I think I figured out what the problem is. So I said to Phil Wood: "I guess it's the pitching."

"Of course it's the pitching," said Wood.

***

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Comments

  1. #1

    Last time I added up 100 and 105 I got a number greater than 203. So Dunn and Zimmerman as of right now are still behind Killebrew/Lemon in 1959. Although, barring calamity, that will surely change by the end of the season. Perhaps you might want to wait til then to proclaim that "Zimmerman and Dunn already have more RBI than any pair of DC boys of summer since the 1930s."

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