Cheap Seats Daily: Still More from Chris Cooley™?

Dan Snyder is still getting crushed because of the Paul McCartney debacle.

Traffic to and parking at his stadium were hideouser than usual. For some reason, the official FedExField web site is still pumping up the public transportation option as a way to arrive, and indicates that shuttles would be running from closest Metro stops to the stadium "every 15 minutes."

Alas: Snyder stopped the shuttle service for his stadium events a year ago. So anybody who believed what they read on the FedExField site got stranded.

Those who made it to the show found that bathrooms were shut down, since plumbing to big chunks of the stadium went out in the early evening.

But food vendors continued selling food even though the ability to keep things clean largely went away when running water disappeared. Ewwwww!

Just another day at the office for Snyder.

The comments section for the Washington Post's story about the debacle makes for some fabulous reading. A couple tidbits:

thefrontpage1 wrote: Why on earth does everything having to do with Dan Snyder and FedEx Field end up being over-priced, under-organized, a pain in the neck to people, handled poorly, organized poorly, managed poorly, and a rip-off for consumers? Why does everything associated with Dan Snyder work out so poorly? It's a viable question.

jbtjbtjbt wrote: Our pal at the Redskins office apologized "for the inconvenience". That's nice. How about refunding some of those "convenience" and "facilities" fees?? Welcome to your nation's capital. Toilets were backed up BEFORE the concert.

And, rletra wrote: As I waited for my wife to come out of one of the few working bathrooms, I mentioned to a Redskins' sales guy that in the men's room the toilet flushed but the sinks were dry. He said, "No big deal, guys don't wash their hands anyway."

Yuckety yuck yuck!

Snyder should just sign Michael Vick now.

AFTER THE JUMP: Chris Cooley's new app? DC United has a Real foe? Rabbit ears will get you the United/Real game? Would we stoop so low as to use Pablo Dean's free throw championship to hype the Eddie Dean/Tim McGraw Feud? The Nationals won? It's still baseball season?

Even before the plumbing at his stadium failed, Snyder's hands were dirty enough to where I really don't think his reputation around here can be damaged. And Vick could help his football team.

So, what the hell? Sign him!

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FedExField has another big event this Sunday: DC United, after glorious recent U.S. Open Cup wins over the Ocean City (N.J.) Barons, regarded as “the Real Madrid of Ocean City (N.J.),” and the Harrisburg (Pa.) City Islanders, known around their hometown as, “the Real Madrid of Harrisburg,” and the Rochester (N.Y.) Rhinos, the, you guessed it, Real Madrid of Rochester (N.Y.), United now plays Real Madrid, which we'll dub the Real Real Madrid of the Real Madrid.

A crowd of about 70,000, or much larger than the one for McCartney which proved too big for Snyder's staff to accommodate, is expected for the United/Real match.

If you're off put by gridlock and third-world hygiene and want to avoid the stadium but don't have cable or even a digital converter box, you can still watch the match on analog, over-the-airwaves TV! Telefutura, the all-Spanish network found locally on channel 47. I'm gonna warm up the rabbit ears!

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Last week it was a home movie with Colt Brennan making fun of an NFC East Rival. This week it's announcing a new iPhone application to promote his web site.

The branding of Chris Cooley marches on...

Seriously, pretty soon the Jonas Brothers are gonna be jealous of this guy's level of exposure.

Well, maybe not all his exposure.

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I'll probably have to stretch like that dude from Fantastic 4 to make this a sports item, but here goes: As mentioned yesterday on this very same web site, Tim McGraw, the son of longtime relief pitcher and cult hero Tug McGraw, took a beating in the galleys of “Man of Constant Sorrow: The Life and Times of a Music Legend,” an upcoming book that bluegrass cult hero Ralph Stanley co-wrote with longtime City Paper writer and cult hero Eddie Dean. Dean let Stanley say that the younger McGraw couldn't recognize a real country song if it kicked him in the ass or somesuch.

But then the book's publisher got cold feet or the marketing folks got an idea and the bashing passages got yanked out of the version that went to press. Anyway, as longtime City Paper publisher and cult hero Amy Austin pointed out in a terse email to me after my blurb about the Great Tim McGraw Massacre of 2009 appeared, I should have also mentioned that Eddie Dean, back when he was on the masthead, went longer than Jerry Rice in a 1995 profile of Stanley, "Appalachian Death Trip." Read it and tell me Eddie isn't the man! I dare you!

Also, Eddie's son Pablo won the recent Maryland state free throw championships, sponsored by Knights of Columbus in Bowie. Pablo, according to his father, made 21 of 25 shots in the finals to "edge out some kid from Kensington in a Kevin Garnett jersey."

So, we squeezed pitcher Tug McGraw AND free throw champ Pablo Dean into this item. Plenty sportsy for Cheap Seats Daily!

(And, to the Tim McGraw crowd: Direct all hate to Ralph Stanley and Eddie Dean. Not me! I LOVE Tim McGraw! "Just to See You Smile" is awwwwsummmm!)

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Oh, right: Nats Win!

Listening on the radio to those big back-to-back four-run innings from Pittsburgh only reminded me how awful this team has been for several years now. "So THIS is what a big inning sounds like!"...

And for a few minutes I did feel bad that Cheap Seats Daily had already moved on to football season last week, during the Great Four-Game Losing Streak of Late July and Early August 2009.

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Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Tags: cheap seats daily, Chris Cooley!, D.C. United, Dan Snyder, Eddie Dean, fedexfield, jonas brothers, pablo dean, paul mccartney, Ralph Stanley, real madrid, Sports, Tim McGraw, Washington Nationals, Washington Post, Washington Redskins