City Desk

Whirlybird Bowers

Jared Bowers was arrested after hoisting himself on top of a van in front of the Starboard, dropping his pants and twirling his dick at a bustling Route 1. In the police report, one bystander described the maneuver as a “whirlybird.”

That was last year. In 2009, Bowers has managed three arrests, scoring a felony on the third. It’s the sixth time Dewey Beach Police have collared Bowers. They even banned him from the town.
What makes Whirlybird Bowers come back for more?

Bowers’ 2009 arrest record commenced normally enough, one for underage drinking on May 20 and one for being in a package store around Memorial Day. Bowers stuck around after Memorial Day, crashing in the rental house he used as a base of operations. Eventually, the landlord had enough and evicted him.

That night, Bowers walked in the front door, grabbed a beer from the fridge and flipped on the TV. A resident leaseholder found Bowers on the couch, apparently unaware that he was ever evicted.

When he asked Bowers what he was doing, Bowers stood, announced, “I’m gonna fuck you up,” and duffed the leaseholder in the face. After a brief scuffle on the floor, Bowers fled out the door and into the night.

As of May 26, he was at large. When I asked seasonal officer Nate Hollis about Bowers, he rolled his eyes.
“He just does not seem to have the capability to learn,” Hollis said dryly. Out of all the Dewey cops, Hollis has the most face time with Bowers. He said every time he processed Bowers, the youth would ask if he was charged with a felony. When Hollis invariably said no, Bowers would smile and laugh to himself.

“Burglary One,” said Hollis. “That’s a felony. He entered a house he was evicted from and drank a beer that wasn’t his.” He smiled with half his mouth. “I can’t wait to tell him, yes, this time it’s a felony.”

Bowers turned himself in the next morning, sober and polite, cooperative throughout the process of his incarceration. Sgt. Cliff Dempsey said if Bowers gives cops the slip, he almost always turns himself in.

Messages to Bowers were unreturned. I don’t want to ask him if a felony arrest has chastened his inner party-animal. Really, I want to know if his Starboard performance will see a reprise – and, if so, can I sell tickets?

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  • ratnerstar

    Hey, this sounds like an interesting story! Maybe the City Paper should try writing about it in a manner that's, you know, comprehensible. It took me three tries to get the timeline down, and I'm still not 100% certain. You talked to Hollis when?

    Still, interesting.

  • OldFriendOfWhirlyBird

    Unfortunately i experience some of Jared Bowers obnoxious antics first hand. Because his presence was forced due to a mutual friend, I have seen everything from Ecstasy streaking, to drunken Jared beatings, walking out on restaurant tabs, stealing breathalyzers from the police, and even propositioning one of my guys friends to sex. I guess while it was funny watching a cartoon character look alike doing ridiculous things, now that I'm alder i cant believe he is still up to the same old stuff.

  • Outsider Looking In

    What is very hilarious about this is that yes, Mr. Bowers did get into a little bit of trouble this summer; however, it was nothing but harmless fun. What I do recall is a fellow by the name of, Nicholas Smith, who suffered from extreme jealousy issues towards Mr. Bowers, was always creating crazy stories about him. The resentment towards Mr. Bowers and the strive to be him went as far as Mr.Smith moving into Mr. Bowers old beach house after he was so called "evicted." Unfortunately, he experienced some obnoxious antics of his own. One night, he was extremely intoxicated and passed out on a sidewalk of Dewey Beach. An officer awoke Mr. Smith by questioning him, and he replied by attacking him. While it was entertaining to watch a real life cartoon of Mr. Smith, it all came to a screeching halt when later that summer he beat up a girl. THIS is your real problem of Dewey Beach...

  • Nick Smith

    lol I'm actually a fugitive on the run. They almost caught me in Florida so now I'm attending a Division 1, top 22 academic school in America.. Gees wonder who posted Outsider looking in? lol

  • Outsider Looking In

    Mr. Smith, the last time I checked, getting into a Division 1, top 22 academic school in America doesn't make you a good person. You are surely going to need a great education considering your record. At your rate you can have a Masters and still not get a job... so don't get ahead of yourself buddy ;)