City Desk

Cheap Seats Daily: La Canfora Replacement from RavensLand? Mike ‘Biggest Loser’ Williams Not Big Enough for Madden? Brunell’s Band to Play Six Flags?

The typists' gathering spot sportsjournalists.com has been rumoring that the Washington Post will hire a former Baltimore Sun columnist, Rick Maese, to replace Vinny Cerrato nemesis Jason La Canfora on the Redskins beat.

As predicted in this space, the beat wasn't big enough for the Skins' GM/racquetball partner/DJ and the Post's writer/blogger/agitator.

La Canfora left the paper to work the NFL Network.

The entertaining putzes over at Dan Snyder's message board, Extremeskins.com, are taking credit for driving La Canfora away.

And while the Skins obsessives don't trust anybody coming from Baltimore, they liked one thing about the Maese move.

As Extremeskins poster RedskinsVictoryorDeath put it: "As least they didn't hire anyone from the City Paper..."

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Here's how far out of football Mike "Biggest Loser" Williams—an offensive lineman and the largest of the Redskins' Five Guys Named Williams by at least a Williams—was before Cerrato pried him away from the buffet: The guy can't even be used by gamers on Madden '09!

This dude's peeved about not being able to put Biggest Loser on his digital roster, and uses the situation to demand changes from EA Sports, which produces the game.

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Remember, tchotchke freaks: Tonight's Matt Wieters Collectible Figurine Night at the Bowie Baysox game!

Management, saying they've been burned by hoarders at past giveaways, have put new rules in place guaranteed to take all the fun and civil rights out of the event.

From the Baysox website:

"There will be a limit of one figurine per person and there will be a 'No Exit and Re-Entry' policy in effect from 6:00 – 7:00 pm or until all giveaways have been distributed. Fans will not be able to exit the stadium during this time period."

Here's hoping a brawl breaks out between Baysox security and some clown trying to get out of the stadium yelling, "I bought THREE tickets! I want THREE Matt Wieters Collectible Figurines! HELP!"

I smell a scandal! GateGate?

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Where God and gridiron intersect: The Newsboys, Mark Brunell's partners in Christian Rock via Nashville's InPop Records, are scheduled to play shows at Dan Snyder's Six Flags parks this year. If there is a this year for Dan Snyder's Six Flags.

InPop's been the focus of complaints from cult-watcher groups, who claim the record label is a mouthpiece for EveryNation churches, which has in the past been caught using recruiting methods shadier than anything John Calipari ever tried.

But before you bash Theme Park Rock, remember: The Jonas Brothers played Six Flags when they were nothing. And Bob Dylan played Kings Dominion when he was Bob Dylan!

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The latest issue of Sports Illustrated tells the tale of Jeff Komlo, the former DeMatha and Detroit Lions QB turned drugged-up, domestic-abuser fugitive.

Komlo was killed recently in a car accident in Greece, where he was living on the lam and completely out of touch with friends and family. But he fell apart years before his death.

The story doesn't answer why Komlo went wrong, but just reading how wrong he went is fascinating.

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Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

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