City Desk

Cheap Seats Daily: Draft Evades the Wiz, Nats Need the Hot Dog Gatling Gun, Skins Fans Annoy, Vick? Ficker?

In hockey, being the biggest loser one year gets you Alex Ovechkin for the next 15.

In the NBA, being the second biggest loser in the 2008-2009 season means Blake Griffin's brother Taylor might still be available when you get to pick.

The draft lottery is ridiculous!

***

Michael Vick's almost out.

Would He? Could He?

Will He?

The Redskins have in the past been rewarded for aggressively pursuing QBs while they're still in The System in Virginia.

During the 1987 NFL players strike, the team got former Tennessee Volunteer Tony Robinson out on work release from a Richmond prison, where he was serving time for a federal drug conviction, so he could play against the Cowboys on "Monday Night Football."

Though the Cowboys had regulars such as Danny and Randy White dressed out for the game, Robinson and the Skins won, 13-7, and their underdog tale was sorta the backbone of the Keanu Reeves' feature film, "The Replacements."

It'd be tough to make an, um, underdog movie about Vick.

But would anybody really be shocked if He pulled the trigger here?

If He works fast, maybe Vick can be here in time for the FREE FAN APPRECIATION DAY party at Six Flags!

***

The streaking Nationals dropped their sixth straight last night vs. Pittsburgh.

The Nats scored a run in the bottom of the ninth to send the game into OT, and, more importantly, to keep shelled starter Shairon Martis' record blemishless and his All-Star dreams alive.

Based on the AP's game write-up, the Nats rally also left baseball geeks wooden: "Washington became the fourth team in major league history to score at least five runs in a six-game losing streak, according to STATS, LLC."

I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds big.

***

The great Dan Steinberg (full disclosure: friend, neighbor) has been following The Great Hot Dog Massacre of '09, where mascot Screech has been shooting weiners into the Nationals Stadium grandstand.

Problem is, the food is getting obliterated during transport.

"It's just funny to watch hot dog rolls explode and come down on people," one fan told Steinberg.

Sounds like the Nationals need to call Todd Scheel. He's the genius who gave the world the T-Shirt Gatling Gun, the weapon that the Georgetown Hoyas have been using to rapid-fire gaggles of shirts into the upper deck at Verizon Center during home games.

Scheel, a Milwaukee-area inventor who works in the "dead ball entertainment" field, told me he devised the T-Shirt Gatling Gun sort of by accident, while engineering a "multi-chamber hot dog launcher."

Scheel's rapid-fire hot dog cannon, which shoots a dozen dogs at a time, uses plastic capsules (“Like the ones at a drive-in teller, sort of,” he says) to keep the bun/sausage combo intact, and to allow mustard and catsup packages to go along for the ride. He really wants somebody to give it a shot.

C'mon, Nats! Be the first team in baseball the Hot Dog Gatling Gun!

And lawyer up!

***

Speaking of lawyering up, the fight over the Redskins name really brings out the dregs in the team's fan base.

"No living Indian has ever had this name used in description of them," wrote Art Mills, Dan Snyder's longtime media attack dog and the longest running moderator at Extremeskins, the Snyder-owned message board.

Mills, who used to be entertaining, used his laughable lie — Google for five seconds and get back to me, Art — while rallying the troops to deny that the name of the team is offensive. As the debate was heating up, the moderators moved the thread off the main forum of Snyder's board.

Then there is the Get Over It! crowd.

Such as "J," who posted his annoying thoughts on an ESPN chat with Suzan Shown Harjo, one of the Native American plaintiffs in the Redskins trademark litigation. Harjo's response is just plain killer.

J: Ever think that instead of promoting equality, this fight of yours will sour people about Indians. People may think that Indians are kind of stupid for tying to change a mascot's name.

Suzan Shown Harjo: The thoughts of those who could be soured over a bid for justice are of little interest to me — what are they going to do? Get mad and take away the western hemisphere?

***

Robin Ficker Update: He took it on the chin in yesterday's race for Montgomery County Council.

The Gazette reports that board of election figures have FIcker, who ran as a Republican, him losing by a nearly 2-1 margin to Democrat Nancy Navarro.

He'll run again.

***

Update on the Federal Government's War on Pickup Soccer: the red snow fence remains in place on two spots along Piney Branch Parkway. The grass is thick and green all over. Perfect for soccer1

Because of the fence, the mostly Latin players that have been recreating at the site for decades are now using the plot of grass on the east side of the 16th Street bridge. Last night, there were a couple dozen players there, even though that means they're playing on a hill.

There is no reason to have that fence there except to keep folks from playing soccer.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that fence!

We at City Desk ARE NOT GONNA LET THIS GO!

***

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Comments

  1. #1

    That Art Mills is such a d-bag. Snyder's propaganda machine has to go into stupiddrive, because there's no rational excuses left.

    George Preston Marshall was the biggest racist in the NFL for 24 years. Lone Star Dietz grew up white, stole another man's name/life, and lied about his Indian heritage. Princess Pale Moon isn't Indian, either. The Skins 200,000 waiting list is a myth.

    Makes you wonder what other untruths/lies are being used to prop up the team's tradition.

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