Comments on: This Just In: Maureen Dowd Can Do Whatever the F*ck She Wants

By: Angry Al Gonzales

Angry Al Gonzales — Wed, 20 May 2009 18:50:10 +0000

As punishment, Maureen should have to wear a tube top & mini skirt & come sex me up at Nick's Riverside Cafe.

By: sock puppet

sock puppet — Tue, 19 May 2009 21:00:35 +0000

She has a ball gag with my name on it.

By: Luke

Luke — Tue, 19 May 2009 20:44:01 +0000

Actually, if the City Paper can arrange it, I'd love to hear what Jayson Blair thinks about all of this ... it's funny how many apologists she has, Howard Kurtz et al. ... I guess if you're a part of the Media Cartel, you're untouchable.

By: Ted Scheinman

Ted Scheinman — Tue, 19 May 2009 16:04:10 +0000

Indeed, Ms. Hess.

[Phone rings stage left. Enter MAUREEN wearing lime-green kaftan. She picks up receiver on the fourth ring.]

MAUREEN: Vivian, is that you dear?

VIVIAN (offstage, shrill): I was just about to send you an email as to whether all that torture was 'preventative' or just for kicks—there's a graf you simply must use in Monday's column!

MAUREEN: Splendid!

[Enter AARON SORKIN wearing khakis and A Few Good Men t-shirt.]

AARON SORKIN: Hey, Mo, I just stopped by to help with that column....

MAUREEN DOWD: Splendid!

[Enter ARTHUR OCHS SULZBERGER, JR. wearing double-breasted pinstripe suit and pork-pie hat.]

ARTHUR OCHS SULZBERGER, JR.: Hey there, Dowdie. Just wanted to see how that column was coming. No pressure, or anything.

MAUREEN: Splendid!

[Cue speakers: The Police's "Synchronicity II" starts playing, soft at first and then gradually louder. Enter JOSH MARSHALL, suspended on a bungee cord from the rafters.]

JOSH MARSHALL: Deep thought: How many Times columnists does it take to write a fucking column?

[Enter STING strumming on a lute. Curtain.]

By: Amanda Hess

Amanda Hess — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:43:38 +0000

Ted, I would love to see this play out in Dowd Screenplay form. Wouldn't you?

By: Stating the Obvious

Stating the Obvious — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:00:01 +0000

"Now, can somebody suggest a good punishment for Dowd, a well-paid, respected columnist at a world-famous institution, who has demonstrated that she’s too lazy to rework a friend’s idea into her own words?"

For plagiarism and sloppy writing she could be forced to write copy at the Washington City Paper like some former writers....

By: Downtown Rez

Downtown Rez — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:33:19 +0000

Holy Goose and Gander! Did the Grey Lady just validate aggregation?

By: Angry Al Gonzales

Angry Al Gonzales — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:25:03 +0000

In other words, you are 100% correct - Maureen Dowd can do whatever the f*uck she wants. I love you, Maureen.

By: Angry Al Gonzales

Angry Al Gonzales — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:22:49 +0000

I like Maureen a lot, all the Irish-Catholic stuff grasped my I-C loins, teabagging my family jewels. The past year or so she's become a little too weird - call me, Maureen, if you need a good hard romp on the auld sod.

By: Simon Owens

Simon Owens — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:20:32 +0000

She's like AIG, too big to fail.

By: Ted Scheinman

Ted Scheinman — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:10:44 +0000

They should tell Dowd she's never allowed to use the "script" format in her column. Ever, ever again.

By: Dave

Dave — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:07:14 +0000

If Dowd doesn't get canned over this, she must have dirty photos of NYT corporate leadership locked away in a safe somewhere, or something.