City Desk

Monkeyrotica: Bait-taker

Who among you is an expert on local sausages, French fries, delis, and fried pork chops? We've got you by your monkey balls, monkeyrotica. First, we poked you in our Content Bankruptcy filing for complaining about City Paper on sites that are not owned and operated by City Paper. Now you're all over our shit.

Don't think we don't know you're a man of prole tastes. Sausages, French fries, delis, and fried pork chops? Aimed right at your squishy belly, monkey. You are powerless to resist. Mwa-ha-ha.


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  • monkeyrotica

    Look, this is the last time I'm telling you. There's no "e" in "monkeyrotica." We dropped the "e" when we emigrated from Provence.

    You must be new here, Jule. I'll let it slide this time. But don't let it happen again or I'll eat your face.

  • Jule Banville

    Fixed. Sorry I didn't get your ridiculous handle right. Is this the first time someone's apologized to you?

  • IMGoph

    HA HA!

  • IMGoph

    damnit! the nelson muntz tags didn't come

  • monkeyrotica

    Apologies? Well, so far I've had them from most of the crowned heads of Europe, the notable exception being ex-King Zog of Albania. And the Holy See. But honestly, I don't know what the big deal is. So I like good cheap food. Maybe you obscenely wealthy City Paper interns can afford artisinal sausages, but SOME of us have expensive drug habits, bookies, and perverted sex habits for which we have to pay.

  • Amanda Hess

    I'm sorry, but there is an "e" in "monkeyrotica."

  • sock puppet

    I think monkyrotica would be a bad habit.

  • IMGoph

    there are still two "e"s in it somewhere on this page...

  • monkeyrotica

    The "e" in "monkeyrotica" is a silent "e." Like in "banana."

  • J

    Monkey- u are hilarious keep it up. BTW- Jule is a managing editor, not an intern.

  • monkeyrotica

    Well, in that case, I for one would love to know where Jule goes to find DC's best porkchops, cocaine, hookers, and colonics, preferrably at a one-stop-shop.

  • John B. Tater

    I too would like to know where to find good colonics for research for my play about D.C. businessman.

  • monkeyrotica

    I highly recommend New Life Wellness Center. They make gut blowout an art form. There's also a chinese carryout across the street that's doing some great work with porkchop sandwiches. Tell 'em, "Monkey sent ya!"