The Nats Are a 600-Pound Woman, and Julián Tavárez Has Beer Goggles
This was mentioned already in LL Daily, but it's just too good not to get its own post.
Do yourself a favor and read aging reliever Julián Tavárez’s rationale for joining our local baseball club, as reported in WaPo by Chico Harlan:
“Why did I sign with the Nationals?…When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”