City Desk

Update: SIX Flagging

This is so stupid, I can hardly type:

Dan Snyder's pseudo-afloat theme park chain, Six Flags, a company already balls deep in debt — we're talking BILLIONS OF DOLLARS of debt here — is apparently about to launch its own line of kiddie hair salons.

Snyder's burgeoning debacle-within-a-debacle will be called Rollercoaster Cuts and its tag line will be "A Hair Razing Experience!"

Get it? Yeah, me too. Though "A Hair-Brained Idea!" is more what comes to mind here.

I'm stunned by the dumbassery. I'm cold and clammy as I type: Dan Snyder is opening up a chain of kiddie hair salons!

I mean, I've poked fun at Snyder's boardroom chops in this space for years. But at least some of that was joking.

But Rollercoaster Cuts is the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of Redskins Park.

Sure, charging for training camp and banning pedestrians from walking into FedExField were dumb and dumber. And there have been tons of other decisions just as, um, hair-brained.

But next to the launch of Rollercoaster Cuts, those brainchildren now look like the cure for polio.

The only Rollercoaster Cuts outlet I can find any info on will allegedly open in Hartford, Conn., within the next few months.

Check out the Rollercoaster Cuts Web site and answer me this: Gotta be a hoax, right?

Gotta be.

My butt is watering as I type: DAN SNYDER IS LAUNCHING A LINE OF KIDDIE HAIR SALONS!

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder's Six Flags soap opera.

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  • Sherry

    Okay. For the first time I agree.

    This is basically (And I never EVER Use this word) Completly retarded.

  • TomHandy

    I can't tell if this is more or less stupid than the Cartoon Cuts franchise - VA has a few at Tyson's and Springfield Mall: http://www.cartooncuts.com/

  • Dave McKenna

    Sherry:
    thanks for sticking with me. winning you over is the only reason i've kept this "SIX Flagging" serial going. Speaking of: Six Flags stock was trading at 22 cents this morning. Looks like Wall Street is with us, too, Sherry.

    and TomHandy, Cartoon Cuts would be equally stupid, if only Cartoon Cuts WAS MORE THAN TWO BILLION DOLLARS IN DEBT!

  • Sherry

    I'm not sure if you're being serious or sarcastic, and if you're being serious, then I'm flattered.

    I just wanted to note that SIX ended trading last week at .27cents, down from the .33-.34 it's been hovering around. And with the bad press they've been getting (That "Fifteen companies that may not survive 2009" list that everyone loved) I just can't see how they can stay...to use Dave's word "Afloat" or even "Pseudo-Afloat" for much longer.

    On the other hand, at my local Six Flags park it's been nothing but good news, they're saying that with enemployment the way it is that labor this year should be spectacular, and that they won't re relying as much on high school students who can only work so many hours a week.

    I guess that's one good thing in a sea of bad things though.

  • Sherry

    Okay, so I meant to say "Unemployment" and "Be Relying"...Give me a break it's 3:10am.

  • Pete

    HI Dave. I have a question for you. Why do you dislke Dan Snyder so much to devote so many portions of your column to what is going on at Six Flags? I read your columns on Six Flags all the time and it is obvious there is something personal here. I have never seen another columnist rip apart a business or businessman quite like this before.

    I work for Six Flags and all things aside, they are a great company to work for.

    Thanks.

  • Sherry

    A Great Company to work for! I laughed reading that!

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