City Desk

Attention People From Colder Climes: Shut Up.

Hey, you know what would happen if they got an inch of snow in Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.? Nothing! You know what would suck worse? Living in Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.*!

Every time it snows here I get ready–make sure I have ice melt, find the snow shovels in the basement, check air pressure in car tires. I also brace myself for a boatload of superior twaddle from people who are originally from colder climes. You know who they are. Hell, I'm friends with some of them. No matter how cold it is, they insist it isn't cold. And God forbid it should snow. You call this snow? they'll ask without waiting for you to answer (and the answer is: yes).

Now even Jesus the new president is in on it. Hey Admiral Byrd and Co., here's why school is canceled. My street isn't clear. It's not a main street, but there are many streets like it. I'm excellent at driving in snow and couldn't get my front-wheel drive car up the hill and out of the nabe yesterday. This area doesn't have enough snow-removal equipment to clear the streets quickly enough. Where cars can't go, buses can't either. Please snicker and hold your now-that-was-a-real-snow-day nostalgia parties out of earshot of the rest of us.

*FULL DISCLOSURE: My parents live in Sault Ste. Marie, Mich.

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  • Mark Athitakis

    You call that complaining, Andrew? You should come to Chicago sometime...

  • Michael J. West

    Appropriately enough, I had just seen this in my RSS feed and came here to write "Hey, you know who should read this? A certain former CP Arts Editor who shall remain nameless..."

  • Meha

    Just for the record, Mayor Richard Daley pretty much put the kabosh this year on street cleaning in Chicago, ESPECIALLY the suburbs, where so many families--and their school-attending children--live. We had some of the worst snow storms on record, and hardly saw a snow truck to clear the streets. And the suburbs were the worst, but kids still got to school. slower. Because if school gets to be cancelled, all offices should close, too, so parents can stay home with their kids. But I know people in Washington, D.C. are working today, right?

  • http::// randomduck

    DDOT has enough equipment, for sure. But they have the most inept, untrained drivers who don't know how to properly assess, pre-treat, plow and clean the roads. You'd think that the blizzard of January 2003 would've pushed DDOT to train their drivers. During and after that storm, I witnessed many DDOT plow drivers look at snowed-in roads and decide to pass them by - a move that eventually necessitated bringing in New Jersey DOT plows, fresh off their expedient clearing of Jersey's roads, to finish the job down here. What DDOT couldn't manage in 9 days took 48 hours for NJ plows to finish. The amount of DC money wasted on plow drivers cowering in fear and ineptitude was crazy.

    Since then, we really haven't had any challenges of that magnitude, but that's no excuse for DDOT not learning how to properly use the tools they already have.

  • xlprq

    Meha -- Mayor Daley has NOTHING to do with snow removal in the suburbs. NOTHING! That's why they are not part of the city of Chicago. They have their own governments with their own mayors (or village board presidents) who set their own budgets to remove or not remove snow. Daley can be blamed for a lot of problems, but not any of the suburban ones. Geez, a basic history or civics class would have explained that.