Housley: No Chance Ryan Seacrest Carries His Own Skin Bronzer
Nice interview in the latest edition of Bookslut with Dave Housley, the D.C author of the short-story collection Ryan Seacrest Is Famous (we profiled him in November '07) and coeditor at the literary journal Barrelhouse (which disclosed its Patrick Swayze anxiety in our pages last April). He talks a little about Barrelhouse, the story collection, and Swayze, but the best exchange involves a hypothetical scenario:
You are in a little room with Ryan Seacrest, 40 copies of your book, and an oversized toothbrush. Ryan Seacrest has a cellphone with your mother's number in it. He also has a squirt tube of skin bronzer in his tight jean pockets. There are no windows or doors in the room, but there is a TV, and Ryan Seacrest is trying to watch TV. What's going to happen?
Now, the most interesting part of this is that squirt tube of skin bronzer. I really feel like he might have that in his tight jean pockets. Do you think when he leaves the house he actually might have a squirt tube of skin bronzer? He probably would carry it in a little man-purse, or he'd have an assistant carry it for him and he'd shout "TAN" every now and then, and the assistant would have to come rub bronzer on Ryan Seacrest, and then by the end of the day, the assistant's $500 jeans would be the exact color of Ryan Seacrest's hair, because he's been given nothing to wipe his hands on, other than Ryan Seacrest.
Photo of Dave Housley by Darrow Montgomery