Last-Minute ANC Write-In Campaign Announced at Last Minute!
This afternoon Southeast Capitol Hill resident Arthur Delaney kicked off his write-in campaign for a spot on the local advisory neighborhood commission. Delaney, who is me, is campaigning entirely on a pro-single-beers platform for 6B08.
Lately, the local political establishment is united in its insistence that corner stores not sell single cans or bottles of beer and malt liquor. Delaney has two simple questions:
- What is a person supposed to do if he or she wants a beer but can't afford a six pack?
- What if a person just wants one beer?
The answer to these questions is that a person who has ever been or ever will be in either situation must vote for Arthur Delaney in 6B08 tomorrow. Arthur Delaney has the necessary maverick qualities to begin to reverse the nannyish tide that will outlaw single sales in early 2009.
After the jump, more details, plus Arthur Delaney's first campaign video.
In a surprising development, the office of Ward 6 D.C. Councilmember Tommy Wells inexplicably endorsed Arthur Delaney, because, according to Wells chief of staff Charles Allen, Wells approves of the idea of drinking just one beer.
Sometimes, you just want one.
UPDATE: Charles Allen writes to say that Tommy Wells does not, in fact, endorse Arthur Delaney. Allen writes, "My actual quote was that Tommy supports the idea of enjoying one beer, not that he endorses your candidacy….perhaps an overeager candidate has stretched my words little too far."
5:16 pm
Isn't it, like, a breach of FEC laws to campaign from a newspaper? Isn't that like getting free advertising?
5:20 pm
Good question! I have no idea.
5:20 pm
Arthur works for CP as a freelancer.
5:21 pm
The relevant authority is the D.C. Office of Campaign Finance. (202) 671-0547. Ask for Wesley.
5:26 pm
Go ahead and try to stop me, Political Establishment. Go right ahead.
5:46 pm
If you work the polls tomorrow, you're guaranteed to win. Print out a flyer with you and a picture of Obama, saying that Obama supports single sales.
A message at the Office of Campaign Finance said it will get back to me "within 24 hours." So you may be in the clear.
10:06 pm
Arthur, don't dare try to make that "one" a Schaefer. Researchers have observed Schaefer pleasure almost entirely unfaded, even when subjects' thirst was "done." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nrRlXlbWCU .
10:33 pm
Personally, my vote's going to Jimbo. Why buy one drink when you can buy 27?