Five* Minutes You’ll Never Get Back
Dear Readers (and Ernest),
In an effort to bring City Paper customers more, more, more, [more quality journalism!] despite our dwindling resources (and mounting depression), Amanda Hess and Yours Truly bring you “Five Minutes You’ll Never Get Back,” in which the two of us (and Intern Bobby) talk politics and sex, sex, sex! Please make your way over to The Sexist blog for a look/listen (and catch it again next Tuesday!)
Feel free to hate on it or love it in the comments section (as if any of you were waiting for permission). We’re even open to ideas on how we can make it better. We will disregard blatantly cruel or stupid comments, unless we decide to incorporate them into an untitled section where we hate on people for being blatantly stupid and cruel.
*Originally titled “Four Minutes You’ll Never Get Back,” but Hess and I could not stop talking. (Psst, that’s how you know it’s good!)
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10:45 am
One may be tempted to assume that upon hearing the new feature the readers will savor the City Desk with fresh wonder or at least some curiosity. Well, one shouldn’t because the podcast disappoints. Both the content and delivery are, like, remarkably lame – exactly what I’d expect of Riggs, by the way. Five Minutes is an exercise I mediocrity readers can safely ignore.
11:12 am
Does that mean you’ll tune in next week? Because it would mean a lot to me if you did.
11:22 am
Ernest: Call-in segment?
12:04 pm
Next week ?!… How about now, Riggoletto? Resign now. Because it would spare you further embarrassment.
See how well it sounds?
12:14 pm
Amanda, I can see your lips moving but all that’s coming out is a kind of “moooooooooo” sound. Could you elaborate?
12:18 pm
Ernest, you have to call in–you must! You can harass me in person.
12:26 pm
Ernie’s posts are so much more amusing when you imagine them being spoken in Malcolm McDowell’s voice. They have all the fine craftsmanship of a short story written by a high school sophomore who just discovered the thesaurus function in Microsoft Word.
12:28 pm
In person? That would be insupportable. Too risky, you see. What if you emanate offensive odor?
6:10 pm
Say, Reid, why don’t y o u call Riggs?… The two of you will hit it off just fine.
Now, where’s that award winning Jules Verne of Bumsville, PA?
3:19 pm
Dishing out French in Paris, I suppose. Five Minutes are awful indeed. I wish Riggoletto would spare citizens his arias in the future.
Ernest, wouldn’t it be charming to go out? I long for an opera.