City Desk

Obama: You’ve Got Something…

Last night, I watched Barack Obama's acceptance speech on a neighbor's high-falutin' High Definition television. The up-close-and-personal HD technology appears to benefit no face on TV—silver fox Anderson Cooper could stand to lay off the foundation; silver Wolf Blitzer's glinty eyes make him look perpetually high. Barack Obama, however, looks somehow even more fantastic; one member of the viewing party described him as "crisper" in HD. Mmm. Crispy.

Mid-speech, however, the HD turned on Obama, exposing a small collection of saliva in the left crease of the candidate's mouth. (Spittle not pictured in the above Wikipedia-snatched photo). The development nearly incapacitated my housemate; he spent the remainder of the speech in a nervous fit, wishing aloud that one polite delegate would flag down the candidate and discretely wipe his own mouth, the telltale indication that Obama "has got something ... right over ... no ... a little to the left ... there, you've got it."

One viewer twittered the spittle, in the hopes that some party operative would intervene. None answered our call.

Near the speech's end, Obama did move to wipe the corner of his mouth, causing a grand celebration among the party. However, the move only displaced the spittle, helping it to migrate lower down the lip. My housemate hung his head in shame. High Definition spares no one.

Good luck, McCain.

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  • Ted Scheinman

    "Good luck, McCain."


  • Uh, Clem

    Little known fact about Sarah Palin, #789: Sarah's spittle has brought down deer at 30 yards.

  • Philo

    Nothing unusual about a rabid man foaming at the mouth.

  • MNDasher

    I must admit BHO can read a teleprompter better than anyone. Unfortunately (or fortunately) his brain becomes disconnected from his mouth when the teleprompter is not running. His vision becomes replaced with a sonnet of Uh, Uh, Uh.

  • Daveg

    Sarah Palin: the HD candidate of choice! And I thought women's beach volleyball was the pinnacle of HD viewing.

  • Tatterdemalian

    Damn, people. Have we become so spoiled by our virtual reality that we cannot tolerate even the tiniest imperfection in our fellow human beings? Are we so desperate to live in a flawless Hollywood-scripted world that we pitch a fit when a potential leader drools even the tiniest bit?

    Australia's prime minister was caught on camera eating his own ear wax, and they elected him anyway. If you get totally freaked out by such superficial flaws, maybe you should re-evaluate your standards, before you find yourselves being led by someone who uses a perfect surface to conceal a thoroughly rotten core.

    Then again, it may already be too late...

  • RJ

    Looks like you and Obama have a lot in common. You're both a mile wide and an inch deep.

  • Texas Pete

    The Obamabots are absolutely high-larious. I'm surprised Amanda didn't include a brief culinary blurb about the brie and arugula her precious friends were imbibing while they fawned over The One in HD, and fretted about his spittle-flecked countenance.

  • edh

    I suppose Obama could have got away with doing the whole Satchmo thing, with an open handkerchief in one hand, wiping his entire face and mouth periodically.

    As for McCain,I suggest the Joker's make-up, Nicholson, Ledger or even Romero.

  • Shivas Irons

    Maybe he was sending secret, spittle-based - messages to Chris Matthews?

  • Texas Pete

    Shivas, I think you just sent a thrill up my leg...

  • Philo

    Maybe Obama had already seen Matthews and that wasn't spittle....

  • Sue took me 12 responses to understand this is a "joke" site...No?

  • Uh, Clem

    My advice is to get a sense of humor, Sue. Come the first Wednesday in November, you're gonna need it.

  • Joe

    Daveg Says:
    August 31st, 2008 at 9:38 am
    "Sarah Palin: the HD candidate of choice! And I thought women’s beach volleyball was the pinnacle of HD viewing."

    Hmmm, I think you are on to something there. I look for female sports to become very popular in no small part due to HD. I admit to a fair bit of curiosity myself. ;)

  • Carolyn

    This is a trivial and worthless article.

  • Amanda Hess

    Carolyn may have unlocked the key to everlasting blog success.

  • Terry

    How is it that the "all powerful" media couldn't procure an image of what he did?

    Try to cover this administration objectively, despite your biases. After all, look at how you handled GWB. :-P

  • Sue

    Oh Sue, take it for what it is...a collection of witty individuals all congregating around the same internet "watering hole" talking about a silly political mishap. Of all the things Liberals vs Conservatives could be split about, isn't spittle on the lip of The Chosen One the least harmless...?