Let Bolt = Phelps
Usain Bolt provided the biggest thrills from Beijing. But he wasn’t given the sustained attention Michael Phelps got, and his legacy won’t last as long as Mark Spitz’s.
That’s only because dominant runners can’t pad their medal counts in the sort of filler events available to swimmers.
There are 13 swimming events for males going 200 meters or less. There are three such sprints in track, including one relay.
Seven of Phelps’ eight medals came in events where he traveled either 100 or 200 meters. All of Spitz’s 1972 golds came at those same distances.
Everybody in the world runs and only a few rich kids have ever swum the breaststroke or butterfly. So this disparity makes no sense.
But this is an easy fix: Add some silly new track events. Just throw in some flourishes to sprinting, like running while pounding your chest or running while pretending to fly. Bolt has already displayed prowess in these styles, and shown them to be thrilling.
So then the track event now known as the 100- and 200-meter dash could be called the 100- and 200-meter freestyle.
Coming up with names for the new running events won’t be tough, either. Imagine the water cooler talk when these races get certified.
“Damn, did you see Bolt win the 200 Showboat last night?” and “Man! No way anybody’s gonna touch Bolt tomorrow in the 100-meter Birdman!”
Would the showboat or the birdman events be any sillier than the breaststroke or butterfly? Nope.
Then let Bolt cherry pick from the foolish number of relays and medley events available to swimmers, and he goes home with more necklaces than Mr. T. And more than Phelps.
Where’s the justice?
38 Responses to “Let Bolt = Phelps”
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August 21st, 2008 at 10:23 am
usain bolt’s performances were utterly dominating and undeniably impressive. but his runs in the finals of the two events lasted a total of 28.99 seconds. that’s just a little longer than the first half of phelps’s shortest race.
3 of phelps’s medals came in sprints — one individual and two relays. 200s in swimming are not sprints. multiply swimming distances by four and you have equivalents of track events. (check the winning times and you will see that is about right.) so a 200 meter swimming event is roughly equal to the 800 in track. (and the swimming equivalent of the 100 — the 25 — is only a competitive event for children under the age of 8.)
the 400 IM is arguably the most grueling event in swimming, while the 100 freestyle and 100 butterfly are drop-dead sprints. nobody is good at both the sprint 100s and the 400 IM. phelps is the best in the world in the 100 fly and 400 IM, and the best in the US in the 100 free. nobody does that. when usain bolt wins the 200, the mile, and the 400 hurdles in the same olympics, he might be the track equivalent of phelps. (i realize there are more heats in track, so let’s only ask him to do 3 individual events.) there’s no need to make up silly new events; there are plenty of track events that usain bolt didn’t participate in — without even getting into the field events.
usain bolt will have a relay to win a medal too. and his amazing olympics has certainly not gone unnoticed. and i’m sure he will soon be richer than just about any rich kid who has swum the breastroke. but its silly to compare him to phelps — especially if you have no idea what you are talking about.
August 21st, 2008 at 10:37 am
CL:
great to hear from you, CL, what with all these numbers and times. you typed a lot.
obviously, you have, to use your parlance, an idea of what you’re talking about.
correct me if i’m wrong, CL, but your idea boils down to: it’s just coincidence that all the big multiple olympics winners throughout history have been swimmers.
or, perhaps your non-silly idea comes down to: all the best olympic athletes in history have been rich kids.
no sale, CL! i’m not buying it!
but thanks for playing the feud!
August 21st, 2008 at 10:45 am
I would note that Bolt is the large front page picture on today’s Post as well as in the Sports section.
Also, while Phelps’ feats may not be as worthy to you as those of Bolt (which are pretty spectacular), Phelps is an American and is somewhat local which is more than likely what generated the large amounts of coverage of his 8 golds.
August 21st, 2008 at 11:00 am
Running while drunk!
August 21st, 2008 at 11:07 am
Oh, btw, Phelps’ mom is a single mother and middle school principal. I don’t usually rank those folks up there as being rich.
Oh and wasn’t Carl Lewis a big multiple Olympic winner? My memory is getting a bit foggy as I approach 40, but I’m pretty certain he wasn’t a swimmer.
August 21st, 2008 at 11:09 am
AV:
Running while drunk is totally medal worthy.
You’ve hit on something here: Olympic volleyball and softball and all the boating events should also add booze, since nobody sober bothers with those pastimes in the real world.
August 21st, 2008 at 11:17 am
Adams Morgan:
Carl Lewis! fine of you to bring him up.
Lewis’ greatest total was four gold medals, which he got in the 1984 Olympics. That means he heard only half as many anthems as Phelps did this year.
And, Lewis had to enter the Long Jump to get that many.
That’s like Phelps winning all his little sprints, then taking home the top prize in the platform dive.
I think deep down you’re on my side, Adams Morgan.
But thanks for trying to play the feud!
August 21st, 2008 at 11:27 am
Phelps is an amazing athlete and I am amazed at what he did. However, while every kid in the world has a shot at running the 100m (all you need is feet and somewhere to run), not every kid has access to a pool and a $550 dollar swimming suit! While I feel comfortable saying that Bolt is the fastest in the world as the whole world has the potential to participate in sprinting, I don’t feel that is the case in swimming. While the shear number of medals available in swimming make it more likely that they will win more medals, it does not take away from his feat, but you have to admit, there is something sexy almost primal about watching people run, lift weights and do gymnastics. When Bolt won, you know something amazing had happened, even if you just woke up from a coma, in Phelps case a little more explanation would have been needed.
All the athletes are amazing, if they do amazing things it should not matter what country they come from, we should celebrate as human beings at what the human body can achieve.
August 21st, 2008 at 12:22 pm
I think we should have them meet halfway, say a race through the Baptism by Firehose. You’d have to block the drains to give Phelps a chance, I’d wager.
August 21st, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Why didn’t Bolt compete in hurdles? Or the 400? Or long jump or triple jump?
Who’s to say these events are more disimilar to the 100 and 200 than the freestyle is to the butterfly or backstroke?
Listen, it’s clear what you’re really complaining about is that there are more medals given in “White” sports (might as well throw in gymanstics and diving to support your point) than in other sports. Yet there are 14 medals given for track events (not even counting long jump, which sprinters logically ought to be pretty good at) and 17 medals for swimming. That’s not really a big difference. It’s just that runners are more specialized than swimmers are. Does that make Phelps’ accomplishment lesser or greater?
And frankly, if Bolt were American, there’d be a ton more coverage. Remember how much attention Michael Johnson got in 1996?
August 21st, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Reid:
why didn’t Bolt compete in the Triple Jump?
wha?
are you also wondering why michael phelps didn’t sign on for synchronized swimming? i mean, that’s in water!
again, there were 13 events w/o props at 100 and 200 meters in swimming. the breaststroke and butterfly are dumbass events, as non-sensical as a one-armed or one-legged swim.
there are no dumbass running events that Bolt could have entered, Reid.
so, Reid, if you’re going to count medals as the best way to rate Olympic greatness, either take away dumbass swimming events, or add dumbass track events.
that’s all i’m sayin’…
but thanks for playing the feud!
August 21st, 2008 at 1:38 pm
i just loved that hoedown family feud theme. just watch me dance to that hoedown family feud theme.
August 21st, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Poor kids at disadvantage? Que va. One can always practice strokes to perfection in the sea which Jamaica has aplenty. It is truly amazing what can be achieved given a certain amount of desire, determination and the right focus. I don’t see an injustice.
August 21st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
No, there were 10 events at the 100 and 200 meter distances.
Besides, yes there were other events he could have competed it. Why didn’t he enter the hurdles (he probably wouldn’t even need to jump)? Why didn’t he enter the 400? Phelps won events at the 100 through the 400. Why couldn’t Bolt? If he did he could have won 7 golds (100, 200, 400, 110 Hurdles, 400 Hurdles, 4×100, 4×400). [This isn't a rhetorical question, I really wonder why such an incredible runner doesn't try to expand.]
Compare the winning times of swimming to running. A 100 freestyle is about the same as the 400 m run. A 400 freestyle is about the same as the mile.
The day someone wins the 400 dash and the mile run is the day someone matches Phelps.
August 21st, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming…….
If Phelps’s example is not a conclusive proof of American superiority, I know not what is.
August 21st, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Are we not counting hurdles as dumbass track sprinting events?
There are quite a few folks who’ve said had Bolt been training longer the 400 could have been his best event (400 is also a sprint in track; I think we’ve all conceded different distances are considered sprints in the two sports).
So had he peaked just a little bit later, Bolt had the potential for 100, 200, 400, 4×100, 4×400. Oh if only he wanted to master those dumbass hurdles!
But in defense of Phelps, it says something about his depth when he rarely faced the same competitors across his races, something that doesn’t seem to be true in the track events. But, boy, was Bolt’s 100m victory far more entertaining than any of Phelps’s, even the last one!
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:37 am
This is very much a debate about the here and now. At any given time there will be a dominant force in a particular sport. To consider ‘great Olympians’ the bigger picture has to be considered. US discuss thrower Al Oerter, won four gold medals in consecutive Olympics - in an era when athletes competed for the love of sport without financial support or reward. British rower Steve Redgrave won gold at five consecutive Olympics (and nine World Championship golds). If Phelps or Bolt are to be regared as ‘great Olympians’ they need to have longevity. Nobody is served by comparing sports as diverse as chalk and cheese. Accept each for their tremendous achievements - Phelp’s record is amazing, and Bolt has won with ease and broken Johnson’s long-held world 200 record.
But let’s get real. What really sucks about these Olympics is the dearth of live coverage. Above all, America is governed by the dollar, and commercial interest dictates that races have to go out at prime time. This not only deprives athletics fans of live action, but also requires a master-plan to avoid finding out the results before NBC deigns to air the competition.
On a lighter note, I’d like to see the 100 meter backwards sprint!
August 22nd, 2008 at 10:36 am
Baffled Brit:
the backwards sprint is totally dumbass! i like it!
JenniM has problems identifying dumbass. She asks if hurdles are dumbass.
while not as pure as the straight 100 meter dash (which will be known as the 100 Meter Freestyle™ once we add dumbass events like the 200 Showboat™ and the 100 Birdman™ and, with a nod to Baffled Brit, the 100 Backsprint™, in the McKenna Olympics), the hurdles are just straightforward running and jumping.
Those are things all humans do to get from Point A to Point B at some point in their lives, JenniM.
Ruling: The hurdles are totally not a dumbass event.
But, who breaststrokes while leaving Point A, JenniM? Who butterflies to get to Point B?
A couple rich kids, that’s who!
That’s totally dumbass!
But thanks for playing the feud!
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Whoever mentioned island countries are surrounded by water so have equal opportunity are not very bright. You need a still body of water and a controlled environment to train successfully. Ask Phelps if he does or would do his trainjng in the ocean and he will laugh in your face. Not to mention the salt water effect.
August 23rd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Yes, and the sharks!.. The ever present danger of the sharks! How totally dumbass of Ernest not to consider that.
August 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Bolt > Phelps worldwide
Bolt <= Phelps in United States
August 24th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
z = totally got it right. If Bolt was Jamaican one could a bit more clarity in the discussion. But as it is he’s not so it’s a us vs them kinda thing and people will always side with their own.
August 25th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Oh shucks, Peg. Ernest simply suggested if one hasn’t a pool, ocean is an advantage. Ernest, tell them this is unfair.
August 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Sure thing, Megan. One has to be seaworthy to train in the pool, and those named ‘ocean swimming’ quite mistake the matter.
To put it another way, if one aims to be Phelps, ocean certainly helps.
August 25th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Dave, take a second to bother to compare WR times in the events for track and swimming. You are a total idiot for saying a given distance in swimming is equivalent to a given distance in track. You multiply by 4… IF bolt was half the athlete Phelps was he would have won the 100 dash, 200m, 400m and 800m, along with the hurdles, long jump and tripple jump. … but he didnt… bc he isnt half the athlete that phelps is. Nobody wants to hear your sorry excuses trying to compensate for Bolts inability to win as many golds as phelps. Awww, not as many people can swim bc of money (bs bc phelps grew up poor) etc etc etc. You should write a book on excuses, and it would become a staple of the also rans and failures for an entire generation. Most of the top medal winners in the olympics are from gymnastics, only 2-3 of them are swimming. Track has almost the same number of events as swimming.
#Phelps gold > # Bolt gold. but dont forget about all the excuses!
I’d bet alot of money that you cant even swim.
How about this… We put bolt in a race against phelps in the pool and again in a 100m or 200m dash. That huge gap that shows up when bolt tries to swim vs the relatively small gap for the dash will easily demonstarte what we already know, phelps is the better athlete.
“Thanks for playing”
August 26th, 2008 at 12:16 am
Chris:
“IF bolt was half the athlete Phelps was he would have won the 100 dash, 200m, 400m and 800m, along with the hurdles, long jump and tripple jump. … but he didnt… bc he isnt half the athlete that phelps is.”
and then you propose (”How about this…” FAB!) setting this fabulous feud between Bolt and Phelps by getting them to swim AND run against each other!
i like it! Chris, I think you’ve just invented a new Olympic event: the Dumbass Duathlon™!
listen, chris, much as i like you and your totally Dumbass ideas, if you’ve come into my house to defend the breaststroke and the butterfly — and you do defend the breaststroke and the butterfly, Chris, don’t you? — well, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
but thanks for playing the feud!
August 26th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Goes to show that any dumbshit writer will pour out absolute nonsense when he has an outlet.
How about you actually go and talk to folks familiar with each sporting event, before spouting off?
August 26th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Anon:
your post pretty much proves your argument. goes to show, for sure!
thanks for playing the feud!
August 26th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Have you actually tried going out and talking to athletes that compete in these sports or are you just writing your unbiased opinions from your well broken in couch?
August 26th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Anon:
what are you talking about?
you’re not coming in here defending the butterfly and the breaststroke, are you, Anon?
you’re not gonna argue that the butterfly and the breaststroke shouldn’t be called Dumbass Olympic Events™, are you, Anon?
if so, bring it!
and thanks for playing the feud!
August 26th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Using that example to further show who is the better athlete in no way disproves what I was saying above it. Are you high or something? Hurdles are even more retarded than any strokes in swimming. “In real life” someone with half a brain (not you obviously) would just run around the hurdle instead of hopping over it. To further expound upon what I have been saying all along, from a exercise physiology standpoint phelps won a ~50 second event a ~1:40 event, and a ~4:00 event. Bolt only wont two events, a 10 second event and a 20 second event.
Actually… forget I ever brought up the whole exercise physiology arguement, its way over your head, maby this will make more sense to you: (I converted it to caveman for you)
Ugh uhh Ugh Phelps 8 ugh ugh uhh uhh ugh Bolt 2
Hopefully your 2 brain cells can compute something more on your level.
August 26th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Each of these events have been competed in the world over for a long time. Each one is as individually unique as sprints, long distance, mid distance, hurdles, etc in track.
Your argument that only rich kids participate in the sport is complete crap. You should think about doing a story on the club in your back yard DC Parks & Rec which is a competing member of US Swimming.
Any other questions?
Thanks for playing!
August 26th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Anon:
fabulous points! we agree!
uniqueness is the whole problem with the breaststroke and the butterfly.
who breaststrokes, anon? who butterflies?
then, who runs?
i agree, the state of the butterfly and the breaststroke at DC public pools is a fabulous story idea!
but, i gotta say, anon, based just on doing a column on the kids triathlon not long ago, i got a feeling it ain’t gonna help your “complete crap!” argument much.
but thanks for playing the feud!
August 26th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Chris:
while most of your post was, as you predicted, incomprehensible, i believe that Bolt was shortchanged in your caveman conversion (”Ugh uhh Ugh Phelps 8 ugh ugh uhh uhh ugh Bolt 2″) just as he was shortchanged by bizarro defenders of the butterfly and breaststroke all across the U.S.
i mean, not to go all GEICO on you, but shouldn’t that be “ugh ugh uhh uhh ugh Bolt 3″?
but thanks for playing the feud!
August 26th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
“but thanks for” proving my point and showing all your readers your retarded.
August 26th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Chris.. after looking at this guy’s previous articles and responses… I am realizing that this guy just posts the most ignorant and insane crap, just to get a rise out of people and probably to generate traffic to this site.
If we ignore him, he may be forced to actually go out, and perform intelligent research and journalism for a living, although based upon what I am seeing, it is more likely he will end up working as a busboy somewhere..
August 26th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Chris & Anon:
don’t tell me The Feud™ ain’t a public service: sure sounds like i’ve brought you two together. let us know where you’registered!
August 26th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
You should know, its on your trash collecting route.