Lazy Blog Post About Dog Poop
Dogs just shouldn’t have to poop in litter boxes.
I know you. You bought this cute little pricey dog. You can tuck it under arm. Put it in a purse. Whatever. But no matter how small, you shouldn’t force it to crap in a box made for cats.
Maybe dear reader, you’re wondering: Do people, sophisticated people renting in the Capital of the Free World, actually force dogs to poo in boxes? Yes. They do. I’ve seen it. And it’s disgusting.
Think sweaty sausages coated in sand. Think glistening ice cream smeared in gravel. And it smells like dog poop. Do you think a dog likes crapping in a little box? Do you think a dog doesn’t like going outside for a nice walk? Are you that lazy that you can’t take your freaking dog for a jaunt around the block? People: Please stop torturing dogs this way!
Cats produce little pellets. Dog poop is more like human poop. It belongs outside wrapped in a plastic Safeway bag—not chilling out in your closet.
While on my apartment search last week, I noticed two things about a Columbia Heights one-bedroom: a little barky dog and a litter box filled with dog turds in a hall closet. I did not sign a lease for that apartment. I don’t care if the dog and the box would disappear, if the same construction crew that built Nationals Park would buff and scrub the place. That dog scene was serious bad karma.
So dog owners, again, please let your pooches crap outside. It will not only improve your dog’s health but the housing market.
8 Responses to “Lazy Blog Post About Dog Poop”
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July 14th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
You spend so much time complaining about Columbia Heights and about how much better it was before all the recent development. Why not take this opportunity to find a neighborhood that better suits your needs? Someplace with no chain stores or chain restaurants, no traffic, and a place to buy clever little hats.
As a Columbia Heights resident who loves the neighborhood, I suggest you check out West Virginia.
Also, I loved the title of this post.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Oh Jim, I don’t think my anti-dog-poop-in-litter-box had much to do about Target’s impact on Columbia Heights. But thanks for commenting!
July 14th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
A dehydrated/malnourished cat may pop out pellets, but every cat I’ve known lays logs. And consistently win the morning stink out.
But yeh, walk the dog people. It’s probably ok to have an emergency destination for the dog, and great that it uses it, but keep that box clean.
July 14th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I thought those little yappy dogs just crap in designer purses.
July 14th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I was just commenting on your search for a place to live—though the stuff you wrote about poop was SO TOTALLY FUNNY! It sounded like something one of those ladies from Sex and the City would say, right?
Are you still looking for a place to live in Columbia Heights because the neighborhood has given you so many insightful blog posts? My favorites are the ones where you complain about stuff.
July 14th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
You mean stuff like Target and how traffic gets backed up on weekends–and nearly every week night–and how everything is overpriced and overrated and how Mayorga kinda just sucks? [Overpriced now includes the one place in Columbia Heights I loved--Sticky Fingers!].
Jim, since you are such a fan of the Heights, I dare you to defend the Giant. One of the worst places to buy food in this city, period.
July 14th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. Why are you still looking to live in a neighborhood that you clearly dislike?
It’s hard for me to look the other way on something as mature as a dare, even though I think the Columbia Heights Giant is foul and their meat section often smells like an old bucket. But here goes: Sometimes at Giant’s deli counter, when you order cold cuts and cheese, one of the deli workers will roll up a piece of fresh-sliced meat with fresh-sliced cheese and give it to you on a piece of wax paper to eat right there. I always thought that was great.
And they have a CoinStar machine, so that’s handy. But I don’t think it takes quarters or nickels.
July 14th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
“Clever little hats….”
It looks like Jason has a good old-fashioned secret admirer!