City Desk

City Paper Softball Team Seeks Real Competitors

Departing why.i.hate.dc blogger Rusty poses with two of his least favorite D.C. institutions—Smith Point and City Paper—in an interview with washingtonian.com. When asked what one thing he’d improve about Washington, a city he’s been hating on so much that he considers moving to Columbus, Ohio, a step up, “Eliminating the Washington City Paper once and for all.”

Really, all he’d ever have to do to fulfill that fantasy is to join a team that plays us at softball. As detailed on this blog, our softball team was overmatched in every contest we played this year. We forfeited our final game, not for a staff meeting—we tend to hold those on weekdays—but because most of the team had to volunteer at Crafty Bastards Silver Spring.

Never did quitting feel so good. I blogged a while back about the difficulty of getting up and driving for 45 minutes to get your bahookie thumped by some team with “video” in its name.

Thing is, I like playing softball. We all do. But serving as cannon fodder for the fine folks at the Gazette papers isn’t really all that fulfilling. So here’s what I’m thinking. Around town, there have to be publications staffed by people as hopeless as we are. Sculpture, I’m looking at you! Hey Preservation, preserve this!

I am proposing a league of wusses. DCist! We must at least stand a chance against you! National Geographic! Actually, I’ll bet those sturdy explorers at National Geographic could wallop us. But National Geographic Kids! Ranger Rick! Callin’ you out, too! Metro Connection! Current Newspapers!

16 Responses to “City Paper Softball Team Seeks Real Competitors”

  1. catherine Says:

    I think us folks over at washingtonian.com would be interested in your softball league of wusses. Keep us posted.

  2. Arthur Delaney Says:

    I met Russel Allen at a party once. All his friends said he was a writer but he wouldn’t say what he wrote.

  3. Steve Says:

    Thank God Rusty, perhaps the biggest coward of the local blogosphere, is leaving. Columbus should be white-bread enough for him (because, you know, Friendship Heights was too urban for him).

    I call him a coward because for years he has complained about this town, but has done absolutely nothing to improve his lot in life. He just sat there and took it, displaying his yellow streak for all to see.

  4. Arthur Delaney Says:

    Oops, I think it’s Russell, not Russel. Dang.

  5. Mark Athitakis Says:

    I’m totally game for a Washingtonian-CP matchup, league-sanctioned or no.

  6. Sommer Mathis Says:

    The fact that you all have actually played a game of softball before gives you a huge advantage over DCist. That said, I think we could cobble a wuss team together, especially if the Ranger Rick crew actually shows up. You should ask Science News, too. They seem pretty nerdy.

  7. Will Atwood Mitchell Says:

    We need to do this.

  8. Andrew Beaujon Says:

    Anyone know anyone at On Tap?

  9. Andrew Says:

    Japanese American Press Corps!

  10. Andrew Says:

    also, The Blade

  11. Tom Lee Says:

    Forget On Tap — I nominate Mid-Atlantic Brewing News for handling keg duty.

  12. Angela Valdez Says:

    If On Tap has a team, Ronny Mervis — Muh-vuhs — better be on it. He used to have a column on love!

  13. CM Says:

    You should play the Intowner- they’d forfeit for lack of players every time.
    But, more seriously and better yet, just play at a local field. The exposure’d help ensure it doesn’t get turned into “passive greenspace”, a parking lot or, GF, a dogpark.

  14. Mike K Says:

    Before the, um, “unpleasantness” last summer, we were trying to set up a softball game between Washington City Paper and Baltimore City Paper. We suggested playing for the domain name http://www.citypaper.com, but they weren’t having it. They were, however, still interested in a match on a field somewhere between the two cities.

  15. Amanda Hess Says:

    Rusty “likes softball,” I’d like to see him on the field.

  16. Jonathan Mervis Says:

    My dad grew up with cricket, but I’m sure he could learn softball. Let me know about the after-game drinks and I know he’d be down for that.

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