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Women, Sit Your Asses Down

This topic may be a bit unseemly, and I’m usually too apathetic (except, maybe, about foie gras) to start a movement, but someone has to say it. Ladies, you gotta stop this hovering over the toilet bullshit. Get your quad workout somewhere else. You hoverers are the ones causing the problem. You’re the ones splattering all over the seat. Leave aiming to the men. Sit down. The backs of your legs can’t pick up diseases. If everyone sits down, then the seat stays clean. Let’s work together. Let’s sit.

5 Responses to “Women, Sit Your Asses Down”

  1. urban pioneer Says:

    hear hear!

  2. Restroom User Says:

    Hear, hear. I used a (pretty scrungy) public restroom once where there weren’t toilet seats. In response to my griping about it, one of the women I was with said “why does it matter, who sits on the toilet seat anyway?” I was shocked.
    However, I do think that MOST (certainly not all!) of the splatters on toilet seats are due to spray from flushing.

  3. Eaton Says:

    That’s fucked up. I had no idea.
    Any thoughts on those folks who build a bird’s nest on the seat before using it?
    Or the floor bombers who refuse to use the bathroom nearest their cube for fear of running into a coworker?

  4. matchstick Says:

    Eaton, that is hilarious! What about the biggest one of all? The non-flushed toilet? There’s never just pee pee in there, either!

  5. A Man Says:

    I’m a dude, and I’ll admit to being like Larry David on occasion and (oh, the shame!) sitting down to piss. I do it when I don’t want to wake up others in the household. I’ll also hover over the seat if I’m in a public restroom–but more often I’ll lay down some terlet paper on the seat or use those wonderful paper seat covers.

    but regarding seat splatter: What women don’t realize, I’ve come to understand, is that pee splatters *off the water* when we men urinate. So droplets are not necessarily the result of a careless aim. Richochet is to blame!

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