Tips for Fag Hags and More! at Learn-a-palooza

Learn-a-palooza is coming! If you missed its maiden voyage last year, you can check it out Saturday, May 10. It’s a daylong Everything for Dummies workshop fair, where you can learn or teach just about anything. Here are my top five offerings this year:

1. How to Find Gay Men in the City: A Fag Hag's Guide to DC (5 p.m., Potter’s House, 1658 Columbia Rd. NW)

2. How to Teach Philosophy to 1st - 3rd Grade Students (4 p.m., Potter’s House)

3. How to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket (1 p.m., Affinity Lab, 2451 18th St. NW 2nd Floor)

4. Driving on Waste Veggie Oil (12 p.m., Hoopla DC, 2314 18^th Street NW)

5. Stretching Your Own Canvas (3:30 p.m., D.C. Arts Center, 2438 18^th St. NW)

There are also lots of workshops on eco-living and financial management. Notably absent from the current list are yoga and bike maintenance workshops, which were all but promised in the propaganda and kind of seem like a no-brainer for this kind of DIY anarchist up-with-community blowout. Ten to one they appear on the list before the big day.

There will, however, be workshops for the hipster-challenged on “How to Dance at a Party” and “How to Build a Facebook Application.”

You can sign up on their website to teach a workshop on anything you want. No, really: anything.