Spitting on the Cars of Dipshit Drivers
An ongoing chronicle of douchebaggery on the road
Hey, idiot. Yeah, you—the one behind the wheel of 5,000 pounds of steel on 18th Street NW. Come here. There’s something I want to say to you.
No, come closer. It’s a secret. It’s an important secret meant only for you. Are you ready?
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOU!
OK, I lied. It’s not a secret that just about every person who drives a car in Our Nation’s Capital is a fucking dumbass. And my ALL-CAPS “Fuck You” isn’t meant only for you, either. It’s for every stupid prick who bought a Hummer to compensate for a tiny dick, every soccer mom who traded in her mini-van for an Escalade, and every compact SUV owner who thinks buying a hybrid makes them less of a piece of shit. Fuck you, every last one of you.
Oh, what’s the matter? Do my words hurt you? Are you upset? Are you furiously typing away a defensive comment right now telling me what a great driver you are, how you need that Ford Escape because every once in a while you buy a big piece of furniture at IKEA, or that you picked up that 4×4 option not out of vanity but because you never know when you’ll feel like getting a little off-road action in through Rock Creek Park while chugging some Coors Light?
Well, dumbfuck car-owner, go for it. And, while you’re at it, P.S.: Go fuck yourself.
And do you know why? It’s because you suck. Try walking through the city for a change instead of spending a million spacebucks on gas each month for the privilege of sitting in traffic while the rest of us get to and from work in less time than you do. Do you know what you’ll see at EVERY FUCKING INTERSECTION? An asshole running a stop sign. Another idiot making a right turn on a red light without stopping. Some dipshit accelerating into a crosswalk trying to beat a pedestrian. “Oh, look at me! I’m an important person driving a tank and I can’t be bothered with civilians trying to cross the street!”
You don’t believe me, because you’re too busy being an asshole in your car, honking at people like the prick that you are. But if you were to get your fat, lazy ass out of your automobile and take a nice stroll or bike ride through town, you’d see drivers such as yourself endangering the lives of pedestrians at every goddamned intersection in the city. It’s true.
So it is for you, the stupid car-owning resident of Washington, D.C., that I write this blog entry—as well as those that will inevitably follow it as I continue to be almost killed by stupid shits such as yourself during my daily 10-minute walk to work. No, no—don’t thank me. Thank the batshit crazy driver of the silver Nissan Pathfinder who refused to stop at the crosswalk on Columbia Ave. Road NW in Adams Morgan even though I was in the middle of it. Thankfully, he wasn’t going fast enough to prevent the big fat fucking loogie I hocked up from landing right in the middle of his rear passenger side window.
Yeah, that’s right. I spit on your fucking car. Deal with it.
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1:26 pm
you are an idiot
1:27 pm
A well-written response from an articulate individual!
1:34 pm
Mr. Borlik, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Your ideas intrigue me.
Aside from Ms. Valdez’s post keeping me updated on LNS hilarity, this is the greatest thing I’ve ever read on the City Paper site.
1:42 pm
I don’t suppose the crosswalk you were in at Columbia Road was the one where you turn from Columbia onto northbound 18th street? You know, the one with the green arrow that is only lit up when the crosswalk sign says DON’T WALK, yet dumbass pedestrians routinely ignore it and cross against the light anyway, holding up traffic and endangering their lives?
I walk all over this city, and I drive too. I have to say, the drivers are bad, but mostly because they don’t use turn signals and generally drive erratically. But I get FAR more frustrated while driving, than while walking, because of all the peds and bikers who think that they can just chargee into the street or through an intersection anytime they want, regardless of whether they have the right of way.
2:26 pm
Where is this “Columbia Ave. NW”? Blog screeds should be edited, too, you know?
2:49 pm
God I hope I see you just an inch outside of the crosswalk. god Please!!
2:54 pm
So it is for you, the stupid car-owning resident of Washington, D.C., that I write this blog entry
i dunno. most of the cars i dodge while walking to work have MD and VA plates, not DC. i am willing to bet many “car-owning residents of Washington, D.C.,” are walking to work, riding the bus, bicycling, etc., despite owning a car.
2:56 pm
13: I am posting this response from my cell phone while standing at the intersection of 16th St. and Columbia Ave. WHERE ARE YOU? I CAN’T SEE YOU! DO YOU SEE ME? I’M THE ONE WEARING A BLUE COAT, WAVING MY HANDS IN THE AIR, AND HOCKING UP A HUGE OLD SPITBALL JUST FOR YOU!
2:57 pm
Bob, you make a good point. I should have said “D.C. Metro area.” I will change this in future editions of Spitting on the Cars of Dipshit Drivers.
3:02 pm
Can you wait until I’m off? Meet me in SE at 19th and Mass, and please step out of the crosswalk.
Let’s say around 4:00?
3:04 pm
I’m there dude. Just remember to NOT yield the right of way to a pedestrian lawfully crossing the street because, you know, you’re in a rush to get somewhere VERY IMPORTANT (probably a gas station).
3:06 pm
I fucking love this blog entry. As a fellow pedestrian that has to deal with douchebag drivers, instead of just spitting on the car (which I also like to do) it helps to hit the rear quarter panel. Scares the shit out of the asshole, hopefully does some damage, pisses them off and the bigger the car they drive the smaller the dick they have AND the bigger the pussy they are – only have balls when they are behind the wheel won’t ever stop to confront anyone. Keep up the good work!!
3:17 pm
I agree with a previous comment…most automobile traffic is MD and VA residents. I live in DC and own a car because I have no other option to get to work, as I work in Hanover, MD. So…I’m willing to bet that most DC residents who own cars are using them to drive out of the city to work. Its the MD and VA drivers who are coming in. And I hate them.
They always think they can park on residential streets and in front of fire hydrants. What makes them above the DC laws?
3:23 pm
Amen. You can call Matt a dipshit all you like, but his anger is absolutely justified. Careless drivers put people’s lives at risk for their own convenience. It’s not a game, not something trivial. These are human beings — with families and friends, presumably just like you — who could die in a heartbeat just because someone decides he’s above following reasonable rules.
Try to get passed your knee-jerk reactions to blog posts and understand what it really means. What if someone in your family got run down by one of these jackasses?
Plus, it is a funny post.
3:27 pm
Please tell me you’re not joking about making this a regular feature.
3:28 pm
matt-
please do not spit on the red saturn station wagon from new york, dutifully yielding to pedestrians
thanks
3:28 pm
Right on Borik. I think there should be a tax on people who drive SUVs.
3:29 pm
Oops! Typo Alert. I meant Borlik.My computer screen is all fuzzy.Yeah! Make this a regular feature!
3:36 pm
Yes, why do we even have roads in DC. They should just rip up the blacktop and plant grass everywhere. Not like anybody in the city actually needs to get anywhere. It is convenient and possible for everyone to live close to their office. Can’t we just un-invent the wheel? Ug. Me Jorge.
3:41 pm
Jaime’s right. My commute alternates between walking and driving (depends on work location that day) and driving in the District is 1000x worse. Crossing streets can suck as a pedestrian, but I’ve almost been killed more times than I’d like to count while driving…and I’m not counting times it would have just wound up as an accident. Lived in quite a few places and DC drivers are by far the worst.
3:43 pm
Jorge: The douchebaggery of choosing traffic and expensive gas over the D.C. Metro area’s public transportation system aside, people who drive cars to get where they need to be could do so without threatening the lives of pedestrians who walk to get where they need to be. Unfortunately, many drivers choose to be assholes.
3:45 pm
Matt, I have to say that A) I do drive a car and I try to be the exception to the douchebag drive rule. B) I walk/Metro more often than I drive and as someone pointed out above, 9 times out of 10 when you see a driver doing something idiotic they’ll have VA tags.
On the flipside, TWICE I have been almost killed while rightfully crossing the street on the corner of Columbia and whatever street it is the Argonne apartment complex is located. EACH time the light said “Walk”, each time I nearly lost life and/or limb because some nutjob was making a left turn trying to beat the on-coming traffic.
I once kicked the tail-light of a minivan making one of those aformentioned right turns-without-stopping that almost nailed me. Unfortunately I didn’t do any damage. But it felt good.
It’s now to the point where whenever I near a crosswalk and there are cars on the way, I basically have a nice spit globule ready to launch just in case.
(Sidebar: Metro bus drivers, you are not driving Hyundais, you’re driving freaking BUSES. So act like it! You can’t weave in and out of traffic like the rest of us.)
3:56 pm
A car-to-pedestrian collision happens about every 2 minutes in the crosswalk outside of my office. A large proportion of the folks in cars who don’t give a crap about pedestrians… they just avoid eye contact and frickin’ gun it. You *know* that they can see you, but the offense is easier to forget about if you don’t have a face.
Another breed of miscreant driver likes to gently tap the horn just before he/she blows by you in the crosswalk… kind of saying: “Fuck it. At least I honked.”
Bike chain provides a more lasting memory than a loogie… great post.
3:59 pm
**er, meant to say “A near car-to-pedestrian collision…”
4:00 pm
There is a tax on SUVs. On all vehicles in fact. It’s called car/sales/property tax (depending on where you live).
Since when did City Desk publish inane screeds like this? Are you that strapped for content?
4:13 pm
Truth is, most of the drivers in DC — whether local or from VA or MD — are fair to poor. But the worst offenders by far are DC cab drivers, who don’t use turn signals, swerve and stop unexpectedly, flout signs and laws with alarming regularity, and invariably creep into crosswalks during stoplights, frequently blocking the crosswalk entirely. On this last issue I’ve made a point of calling out hacks loudly if they violate my crosswalk. Just this morning on the way to work, a cab pulled completely into the walk with more than 10 seconds left, even as I was leaving the curb. I yelled “WTF! I have the right of way here!” He rolled down his window and said, “Go kill yourself.” I’m really sorry now I didn’t write down his license plate.
4:31 pm
I think there should be a specific tax on those drivers of SUVs since they take up way more parking spaces, clog the roads and turn many of our small city streets into hazardous gridlock.
What happened to everyone either riding a bike or driving a Honda Civic?
4:54 pm
Well considering SUVs typically cost more than cars, and that the tax system is progressive, SUV owners are taxed more.
I really don’t see how an SUV can “clog” the road more than any other car. It’s not like they take up two lanes of traffic. People just like to bitch about SUVs because that’s the “cool” thing to do. A modern SUV is no worse than your grandfather’s ‘72 Cadillac.
5:56 pm
And what’s even better are all the little greenie hippies who drive cars and think they care about the environment. Liars.
6:08 pm
Oh, come on, JB. Everyone knows Subarus don’t pollute!
7:20 pm
“What happened to everyone either riding a bike or driving a Honda Civic?”
Well, we grew up and moved out of our parents basements.
Some of us got jobs that require us to have mean old cars. Real life sucks that way.
And try getting the trendy microbrews and other hipster crap you’uns consume by the assload delivered to the city in a Honda Civic or on a bike.
Or, really, any of the other city services you depend on.
And there is an SUV tax already. Cars in DC over a certain weight limit are already taxed higher than other cars.
It’d help if you’uns did your research before posting.
The real problem in DC is lack of police enforcement. I never see DC cops giving traffic citations. Ever.
But if we want them to give tickets then they need to give pedestrian tickets too. Fair is fair. And we all know jaywalking and other pedestrian offenses are quite routine in DC.
8:42 pm
What happened? The Arab lobby and child-safety lobby colluded to ensure that anyone who wants to car-pool children to school have something that can hold 3-6 booster seats. You can’t “pile in” to the back of a station wagon the way we did when I was a kid.
On the pedestrian safety issue, enforcement is good, but I also like that many localities are doing with engineering solutions where traffic is by necessity slowed down, and preference is given to bicycles and pedestrians.
Look at what they do in Seattle, Portland, Tuscon etc.
8:19 am
Hillman, those without cars recognize that some people need them. But that won’t stop the judgment. And concerning cabs, I am willing to bet that they hit far fewer pedestrians than any other motorized form of transportation in D.C.
8:31 am
It is unfortunate that the article is so foul, because there is a legitimate point in it. However the F bombs don’t display a lot of class or intelligence.
9:30 am
I like you, Mr. Borlik.
I am a nanny/bartender who uses a razor scooter to get to work. Twice in the last month, a car has stopped so suddenly upon the sight of me that I’ve had to bust ass jumping out of the way. I can’t even count the number of times the toddler’s almost lost his life in Dupont Circle because some ass-hat in a vehicle is screaming around a corner, ignoring our WALK signs.
Well-done, you!
9:47 am
matt, as a conscientious DC driver (who got his license in RI), i agree that some people are horrible drivers here in DC. but i can also guarantee that this is not the only city where there are bad drivers. and bad drivers does not necessarily corrolate with SUVs. i’ve seen some shitheads behind the wheels of geo prisms before. that all said, i can tell you that there are some shithead pedestrians out there too. to generalize that all pedestrians are shitheads would be wrong, but people thinking they can just make it after the walk signal turns red, not looking to see that a car is coming, are just as guilty as the asshole driver.
also, i’d like to respond to comment #12-tyler-your solution to hit a person’s car because the drivers, “…only have balls when they are behind the wheel won’t ever stop to confront anyone.” you should take a look at what your annonymous commenting is and realize you’re doing the exact same thing behind the protection of your computer right now. big man. yeah. violence isn’t the answer. you live in a city. deal with it.
11:21 am
right on! and to that motherfucker driving the semi down columbia rd nw toward connecticut ave blaring your horn at a cyclist (me) at about 11:10am this morning: it is not my “white ass’s” fault that you had to stop at each stop light and stop sign on that street, so lay off your goddamn horn! you’re lucky i wasn’t within spitting distance, you racist douchebag.
my friend puts it well when she says that in addition to having their cars inspected each year, all drivers should be forced to stand within 2 feet of their own blaring horn.
12:49 pm
Um, RCR, a lot of SUVs take up *twice* the parking spaces smaller cars do. and on some of the narrower DC streets, they do take up a lane and a half so that you have to brake as they go by in the opposite direction to avoid being sideswiped.
And inevitably, if I’m almost hit by a car as a pedestrian, it’s an SUV. one such behemoth had such a high hood that he didn’t see me in the crosswalk (with the walk sign) as he kept inching forward into said crosswalk. I don’t know how many times I’ve crossed a certain 1-way street where I’ve almost been hit by cars making a left onto that street.
1:07 pm
I have a car and drive sometimes. Most days I walk to work (through Farragut Sq, no less, haven of the bad driver) and I’m friends with a lot of people who ride bikes, from messengers to hipsters trying to show their badassness by riding a Huffy from 1988.
Generally, whether driving or walking, my frustration with DC drivers can almost always be tracked to a car with VA or MD plates, or a “C Plate” DC driver (moved here last week).
I have just as much frustration with many bikers, who are far more apt to ignore traffic laws generally than car drivers. Again, the annoying ones are often wearing helmets and nice work clothes and driving 3 miles an hour down the middle lane of Rhode Island Ave at 9:00 in the morning without a care in the world. They don’t stop at lights (at all) they travel between cars (REALLY ANNOYING) and they turn with little or no warning. These are the sorts of things you can get away with if you’re a bike messenger who’s been riding in cities for a few years and has a track bike that can stop on a dime. If you just moved here last week and decided you’d save metro fare by riding the uber-hip Lady-Schwinn that you found in your grandma’s garage in Arkansas, do us all a favor and stay off the roads.
As far as walkers go, I am a walker, and I’ll admit that I cross sometimes where and when I shouldn’t but I’m not an idiot and I do so in a manner that won’t cause a huge line of traffic to have to stop so that I may pass. That’s just being a douchebag. You’re not so important that the world needs to stop to let you through, and it takes a walker a lot longer to get across a street than a car, let the car go.
Further, lets look at this for a moment as a matter of classism. Granted, I’m not a fan of MD or VA drivers, but to insinuate that there is something wrong with them because they live in the suburbs and away from a metro is pretty short-sighted. People live in run down areas of Prince George’s County because they can’t afford to pay $1000 per month to move their family to Columbia Heights. They may not live near a metro, and it may not make any economic sense for them to drive to a metro parking lot, pay to park all day AND pay for a trip on the train each way, which can get pretty damn expensive if you’re coming from the end of a metro line. The argument put forth in this article essentially states that these people should spend near equal amounts of money, perhaps even more money, to get into the city as punishment for the crime of making less money than our privileged author here. The reason they should do this, no matter the expense or the annoyance, is to make it slightly easier for those of us who do live downtown to bike or walk to work in the morning. This is, at best, a pretty tough sell, and a pretty weak argument. It is born from a horrible combination of self-importance (the world should alter it’s behavior on my account), self-righteousness (I’m a good person because I don’t pollute, you are a bad person because you do), and privilege (What do you mean they can’t afford to live near a metro station, why don’t they just get a new job like I did? Mine has dental and a 401k). It is also, and this is most important, not a productive argument, it’s merely an emotional (and rather annoying) rant.
How about we try this approach. Yes, SUV’s are annoying, and it’s tough not to grab hummer drivers and shake them and demand an explanation. Yes, A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THE ROAD ARE RUDE AND/OR STUPID AND SHOULD HAVE THEIR DRIVER’S LICENSES REMOVED AND POSSIBLE HAVE THEIR TIRES SLASHED (this also applies to bikers and walkers, minus the licenses, and in the case of walkers, have their shoes slashed I suppose). I think we can all agree on this. But let’s say that walkers really need to start thinking before they cross the street. Bikers need to start planning their routes to maybe stay out of super crazy thoroughfares and look for roads with bike paths OR lobby the city to add more bike paths (which I think is an AWESOME idea). Drivers need to be careful and watch out for bikers because the two of you SHARE the road, the bikers are NOT INFRINGING ON YOUR TERRITORY. Most important though, all three groups need to remember that everyone has a place to go and no one actually more important than anyone else. Before you get all angry, start thinking what it would be like if you were in the other position. Most of us have driven a car at some point, ridden a bike, and walked across a street. Start to be a little more considerate, and maybe we can work this out. Though it may feel like justice is being served, spitting on a car for the crime of driving on a street may not advance this discussion the way you’d hoped.
3:30 pm
Alas, the commenters are ignoring the worst drivers of all: diplomats.
4:54 pm
I beg your pardon but the cars heading in from the suburbs that have nearly run me over do not look like the cars of people who are poverty stricken nor do they don’t look like the cars of people I should feel a lot of pity for. Especially when they get 20 miles to the gallon and have ONE PERSON IN THEM. People who can afford the luxury of an SUV and $3 a gallon for gas can afford to let the little people cross the street when there’s sleet pouring from the sky.
Please familiarize yourself with the deplorable state of bike paths in DC before you advise me to take more time finding one. I’ve got an idea. I’ll give you a bike, a helmet, my home address, my office address and YOU be the genius who figures out a safe way for me to get there that doesn’t involve nearly getting creamed by buses, cabs, and cars hurtling in from suburban MD. I guess I should just move closer to a bike path? (I did. Rock Creek. And it’s been under construction for ages). Get a new job? And you say that I am the person who refuses to be inconvenienced? When all we’re asking is that people who are driving slow down, and respect cyclists and peds? I leave myself plenty of time to get to work in the morning safely and respect the rights of others. People who refuse to go the speed limit down 16th, 14th, etc. clearly have not and do not but that is NOT MY FAULT NOR IS IT MY PROBLEM.
And lastly Matt, I see your point, but I agree with the other reader that it’s undermined by the F bombs. Swearing is most effective when used judiciously.
9:30 pm
1. In Mt Pleasant about 7 years ago I was stopped at an intersection waiting to turn on Irving St and proceeded through, only to pause while a speeding car careered past me. At this point a pedestrian hit the back of my car and screamed at me to get out of the crosswalk. I entered the intersection while he was still on the sidewalk and had the right of way, but it didn’t stop him from screaming that I was in the wrong. Matt Borlik, sorry, your story just isn’t believable. I don’t think you’re lying on purpose, but it just doesn’t hold water and I do not believe you’re telling the truth. The reason is that as a driver, I’ve dealt with too many bicyclists and even pedestrians who are PO’d that I’m in their way when I’m doing something perfectly legal.
Just tonight I saw a bike courier hit the back of an elderly woman’s car and yell at her because she was exiting a parking garage and stopped because traffic wouldn’t let her through. Frankly, that’s assault on an old woman and is far more politically conservative than a car blocking part of the sidewalk for 12 seconds.
2. My gas mileage is none of your affair, seriously. I bought my car, as did my friends who work at the city paper and drive gas guzzlers, based on the safety rating of the car and the ability to transport equipment in the back.
3. I drive 4 people every morning to 4 different locations. Two schools and two offices. If you see me driving alone in DC and you think I should take the subway, you’re an ignorant fool who has his head firmly planted up his ***. You are fooling yourself with personal fantasies that have no basis in reality. I’ve had coworkers tell me to my face that I shouldn’t drive ALONE in a big car. Yet I’m only alone for the last 5 minutes of my morning commute.
Grow up. You all are inventing lies about drivers and I’m tired of reading this self-righteous drivel from people who should be more educated than they right.
Matt, this piece will follow you throughout your career and I don’t think it makes you look even sane, let alone, a good writer.
10:43 am
right on, brother. i’ve lost count of how many times i’ve slapped or punched the back end of a car/truck/bus that has nearly mowed me down in a crosswalk. it’s not an suv thing, it’s an asshole-behind-the-wheel thing. no one in this city seems to have the nerve to look you in the eye. this is the same type of situation – drivers just pretend you’re not there. well fuck you. i dare you to get out of your vehicle next time and confront me.
and to all you politically correct, spineless pricks who object to people telling it how it is, fuck you too. you are an excellent example of why nothing gets done in this town.
12:46 pm
Thank you.
1:13 pm
I drive car, bleep my tailpipe hippies. I also walk the same streets mentioned in the entry above. Amen to people walking on the left turn light at Columbia and 18th. Those a_holes don’t look you in the eye or give a shit anymore than crosswalk speeders do.
My drive home through the city looks a lot like a human version of Frogger with human bag of shit after human bag of shit running across streets. I can’t say they’re walking against the traffic signal every time because there is no signal in the middle of a city block. Oh yes, definitely continue texting during your stroll jackball.
But they race anyway, and my duty to my fellow humans is to continue at my current speed. After all they must have walked or run into the street as part of some kind of daredevil fantasy. Therefore its my pleasure to give them the thrill of near misses as I drive through green lights. If you’re in the street against traffic, expect the exhilaration of my 1,500 pounds of car sharing the road with you. I do.
And if it happens to scare you a bit that some car just drove through a green light and got really close to you, good. Thats a healthy fear thats supposed to KEEP YOU OUT OF THE F’ING STREET. Hey look all caps works for me too. sweet.
3:01 pm
Don, I’m not telling anyone what to do except obey laws and respect everyone on the road. I am saying that I don’t feel sorry for drivers. Especially the one in a silver BMW SUV that honked at me last night as I crossed a street completely legally in the freezing rain because I was holding up his left turn. At least he had a roof over his head. I wasn’t trying to inconvenience anyone, I was just trying to get home. This is after I’d stopped at every light, in the rain, obeying the law. Seriously, if you walked or biked every day I think you’d have a different perspective or at least would be slightly less defensive.
I know people with cars who drive their families to school and work too. I don’t think they deserve my contempt but neither do they deserve a medal and certainly no more consideration on the road than I do as a walker/pedestrian which is what routinely happens because people in cars seem prone to myopia. Hey, it happens to me too the few times a year I drive. That’s why I don’t do it much, and when I do do it, I have to remind myself not to honk at people pushing babies in crosswalks where the light is way too short (16th and Irving springs to mind). I think people carry their beltway driving style into the city and it’s just not okay! Speeding, swerving, not signaling- if you don’t see it happening, you aren’t paying attention. It’s not great when it’s happening on 495, but it’s even worse when people and little children are walking around. If you can’t drive calmly through areas where people live and children go to school, don’t drive. That’s all I’m saying.
I think this story is TOTALLY made up by the way, which is ridiculous considering it’d be pretty easy to find actual examples of traffic conflicts from all types of parties, most of which will be valid but steeped in bias. As someone who is predominantly a driver, you are more likely to remember stories that focus on your inconvenience. As a walker/biker, I’m more likely to remember stories that focus on mine. However, there’s an added level of danger and potential death for a pedestrian that makes the issue a bit more personal for us (regardless I would never spit on a car because I wouldn’t spit on anything).
Anyway, calm down. You’re not the only person in the universe with a family’s safety to consider.
3:43 pm
Hey Don. Actually, your gas mileage IS my affair. See, all those gallons of gas that your vehicle gobbles up don’t just disappear when you use them. The gas you burn goes into the atmosphere where it causes smog, ruining my day, and global warming, ruining my planet. And as if that weren’t enough on its own, your insatiable thirst for oil causes my country to fight wars on your behalf.
So I’ma go ahead and join the author in shouting a big FUCK YOU. When you figure out that what you do hurts everybody else then we can chat more amiably.
5:20 pm
So, Dan, your solution is that everyone just quit driving, lest they be called jerks? We can chat more amiably when you understand how the world works and how hilariously impractical your suggestion is.
7:04 pm
cars blah suv’s blah drivers blah bikes blah blah driving blah blah walking blah bike messengers blah blah jaywalkers blah blah. Ah, CP comments, how I love thee.
Quick everyone, help! Someone on the internet is wrong!
11:57 am
Anyway, calm down. You’re not the only person in the universe with a family’s safety to consider.
—-
Calm down? I was laughing when I wrote that.
This morning I watched a man with his 4-6 year old son on a tandem bicycle attachment run 4(!) stop signs on 17th st, including one where a car had to stop in the intersection to keep from hitting him.
To be fair, I saw no bikes obey the stop signs on 17th st, so it wasn’t just him.
Also, I went through an intersection on Mt Pleasant St and a pedestrian walked right in front of my car, leaving me in the middle of the intersection while she used (texted?) on her cell phone. But I’m completely used to that by now.
12:00 pm
Hey Don. Actually, your gas mileage IS my affair.
—
No it isn’t and when you, as Buddhists would say, reach enlightenment, you will realize the logical fallacies you’re making.
It is not actually, for you to comment on at all. In the bible, the suggestion is for one to not covet thy neighbor’s oxen, in Buddhism, it’s a rejection of material goods. It took me a lot of living to recognize what an obsession with other people’s decisions means… I think you might want to look into that internally. Meditate on that if you will.
Because it really isn’t all about you, it’s not.
2:30 pm
Hey, just so you know…New York is filled with horrible drivers also. They’re not just obnoxious to pedestrians, they’re obnoxious to other drivers. I’m actually thinking about giving up my car because I can’t deal with it anymore. They’re rude, self absorbed and completely oblivious to anyone other than themselves.
6:49 pm
Matt, I think it’s important to note that, while a lot of readers feel comfortable insulting you here, they all had to first make up some way of imagining that you imagined the entire event.
Some of them even based their disagreement with your reporting of an event they did not witness upon a premise that all drivers follow all laws all of the time.
Somebody better run and tell Fenty, so he can give all the traffic cops the early retirement they’ve clearly earned.
As someone who has driven in D.C. and had backseat drivers actually tell me to speed up and cut off pedestrians trying to cross streets because they were convinced that everyone in D.C. wanted to carjack us, I find your story believable and frustrating.
As a driver, I have also frequently been kept from making turns by other drivers who were apparently in even more of a hurry than I was.
As a frequent pedestrian, I am actually surprised when cars stop for me in crosswalks. Then I remember that they’re stopping because at the time I’m in some other city and state (or province). Those of you who are afraid to walk the streets of this affluent city, yet always stop for all pedestrians everywhere, I’d like to thank you both.
On my first day in D.C.’s streets as a bicyclist, I have been passed on the right by a honking car, which then herded me over to the double yellow line, where I faced oncoming rush hour traffic. So, yes, I believe that sometimes people can act selfishly and maliciously, even while operating motor vehicles.
As for whether or not it is practical for everybody to stop owning motor vehicles in order to minimize this danger, I would like to ask you to estimate the practical value of the average human life. No, you may not ever hit a pedestrian, but as long as we all use our cars as much as possible, there will be too much traffic to make respectful, safe driving practical for anyone who wants to get anywhere on time.
If you’re not part of the solution, then stop kidding yourself.
I, personally, work a job that is below my qualifications and barely meets my financial requirements, but is walkable from my living situation. If these decisions are not available to you, Don, then I wish you luck in finding better opportunities to practice the enlightenment you so deeply cherish.
2:54 pm
To all the posters complaining about DC pedestrians: bad pedestrians inconvenience drivers. Bad drivers threaten the lives of pedestrians. Anyone who gets behind the wheel of a car needs to take responsibility for the safety of fellow citizens rather than whining about people being in his or her way.