Imminent Canadian Soccer Hooligan Invasion
Oh no! Canadian soccer hooligans coming to D.C. this weekend! Or at least the object of their adoration: Toronto FC, which apparently is a soccer team. Apparently, D.C. has one, too, and theirs is visiting ours on Saturday!
Some survival tips vis-a-vis Canadians:
1) The term “going Canadian” refers to not wearing underwear
There’s a reason for this. Be careful around anyone in camo pants.
2) If you see anyone dressed as Canadian comedy icon Red Green, run for your life
Hidden in the SAP audio track on CBC broadcasts of this show is a coded command to “Kill yanks, eh?” (Note: That’s not a question, even though it sounds like one.)
3) Do not bring up Strange Brew
1983 Oscar snub still an open wound north of the 49th.
4) If you find yourself surrounded by a rabid pack of Canadian soccer hooligans, you can shout, “Hey, half-priced poutine!” or, “Hey, it’s a Quebecois separatist!”
This should give you time to turn and run for your life. Don’t go into the woods. Canadians know many of the forest’s secrets.
Photo by jmcnally
4 Responses to “Imminent Canadian Soccer Hooligan Invasion”
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March 31st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Those Canadian hooligans are sure worth taking note of.
On the bright side, Toronto FC is very likely to loose, being the least capable in the league.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Just like 1814, we’ll leave Washington a smouldering ruin. Don’t worry about your beer, we’ll bring our own provisions with us.
April 4th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Wow. Seriously?
You forgot the flannel-shirt joke.
Hope you’re not paid real money to write this.
We just signed a frenchman. I suppose he’ll wear a beret on the field and train in a stripy shirt, right?
I mean for God’s sake, at least come up with something, y’know… witty. Funny. That’s all I ask from any of these types of entries. National Lampoon-type stuff about maple syrup and poutine is just sad. But maybe I should be telling you how to do your job - after all, you *are* writing to a readership comprised of quite possibly the stupidest people on the planet.
And Canadians - stop pandering to this idiocy.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
http://www.soccerpubs.com/boards/lofiversion/index.php?t19192.html
Toronto Stalinists have been fighting the Red Patch Boys and the U-Queers for years. We are the only supporters group that back MO’s ten year plan to make the play-offs.
Join our facebook group.