Front Royal Survival Guide

I grew up in a rural area. I like hiking. I know how to put up a tent and start a fire. But the lovely people who live in Front Royal, Va., are good; they can smell the city folk from two blocks away. Last weekend some friends and I rented a cabin for a little R&R, which included a couple trips into town. Here's what I learned:
1. Don't Buy Firewood. This is a dead giveaway. After an unsuccessful fire from the soggy wood we chopped with random tools we found in the basement--including a mini chainsaw, a sledgehammer, and something called a wedge--we went searching for wood to buy. We found it at a 7-Eleven. And we got heckled. Actually, we got passively heckled. Two guys getting in their car had a very loud conversation that went something like this: "Shit! They're buying firewood!" "Oh my god, I can't believe it! They're buying firewood?!" Not enjoyable.
2. Don't Buy Fancy Coffee. OK, this one should be obvious. But if a town has a cafe, it seems reasonable to stop by it and buy a cappuccino. We did this. As we were walking down the sidewalk of this sleepy town, there were suddenly people hanging out every window (or so it seemed) making fun of us and our coffee. Much laughing ensued.
3. Don't Take Pictures of the Anti-Abortion Signs. It's hard to resist, especially with gems like: "If you can read this sign, you weren't aborted." But I'm pretty sure we got a nasty stare from a guy on his dirt bike.
4. Don't Drive a Rented Chevy Impala. Enough said.
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2:35 pm
My dad lives on a mountain right outside of front royal and we use the first big abortion sign off 66 onto rt. 55 to direct visitors to the house. You cant miss it.
2:18 pm
I moved from Reston to Linden 3 years ago and came up with a similar list including the correct way to pronounce Front Royal: pretend you have a mouth full of marbles and say "fir oil".
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE it here - but is sure is different that a typical NOVA town.
8:31 am
I moved out to Linden a few years back. The very first thing I noticed was the honesty behind the "may I help you?" at the stores and shops. Understandably; I get the fire wood comment; I might've been the one that made the comment had you not heard the ACTUAL words and said you surmised them. Fairfax County, where I grew up, has been overwhelmed at 1 million+ residents and has become a hard place to get a moments rest. Life is decidedly different here in the "FronRoyl" area. "I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
10:57 am
also, if you happen upon a bouncy ball, don't let it bounce down the street into cars. and, while in the pawn shop, don't interrupt the regulars card game! we are damn lucky we did not get shot, i think.
7:59 pm
Our office (Warren County Dems) is right across the street from the "fancy" coffee shop and not once have I gotten heckled. Methinks you might be too sensitive. Front Royal is a wonderful town and the people here are truly amazing. My husband and I had a fire in February and the town rallied around to help us. We had people we didn't even know dropping off checks at the hotel we were staying in. EVERYONE wanted to lend a helping hand. I come from Fairfax and know that I would NEVER HAVE gotten that treatment from my neighbors there.
Oh the firewood thing . . .yeah we have ours delivered every fall. The stuff at 7-11 is crap.
11:20 pm
Moved to Linden in the 80's when there were not many houses. Now there are houses upon houses. Things are much different today then they were back then. When we moved here the locals did not want us here and we were treated like it too. It took a long time to get accepted. Today anyone can move in and they don't bother them. The government was the opposite of what I was used to. I took Government in school, but it wasn't this kind of government. It has improved. The town has improved and the people have improved. New move in's are lucky they didn't have to put up with the stuff my family had to deal with.
Inspite of it all, I love the country out here and would never move back to the city. I just wish the city wasn't catching up with my neighborhood. I remember when I couldn't see another house. Now they are right on top of me!