News & Featuresblogs
City Desk

Hey Fenty, Here’s My Idea for the D.C. Quarter.

I want a sweet picture of the members of Congress pointing and laughing at the people who live in the capital of a nation that denies them one of the very rights this country was founded on. The rest of the country probably won’t get it, so you might as well add the old “Taxation Without Representation” line on there. (Yeah, I know we’ve got license plates that say that, but think nationally, dude!) If you want to work Blelvis, a bald eagle with a tear running down its beak, or some bullshit cherry blossoms in there, that’s cool with me, too. Fuck yeah!

While we’re at it, the D.C. quarter should be missing a chunk equal to about 1/5 the size of a regular quarter to symbolize how much of that quarter the federal government is taking out of our pockets without adequate representation. I’d say drill a hole in the center of the damn thing, but I think it’d be better just to have a pie-slice-shaped piece cut out—and make sure that the edges are sharp, so that people slice their fingers open and bleed all over themselves whenever they try to use it.

Thanks for the fucking quarter, douchebags. Now, about that $257.17 you took out of my check this week…

Leave a Reply

DC SEARCH
calendar
restaurants
movies
classified
personals

Find an Event

Enter a keyword, select the type of event, and the particular day this week below.

Submit your event to the City Paper's Event Calendar.

Find a Restaurant

Enter a restaurant name, or select a cuisine and neighborhood below.

Find a Movie

Select a movie theater in the box below to see a list of all movies at that theater.

...Or view a full list of theaters, films, and showtimes.

Search Classified Ads

Post a Classified Ad

Find It

Find a Match

Age range: to
Find It

Who saw you? Check I Saw You
Looking for something kinky? Wild Side

City Paper Newsletter
advertisement

CP Events

Find yours

This Week

Current Issue
The Issue of Sep. 5 - 11, 2008

This Week in
City Paper History

  • WILLIAMS EYEING HISTORY
    Aug. 28 - Sep. 3, 1998
  • The Big Takeover
    The Frodus conglomerate builds a Fairfax empire out of pancakes, bikini briefs, and hardcore irony.
    Aug. 29 - Sep. 4, 1997
  • Dicked Over
    Penile implants were sold as a safe cure for impotence, but a D.C. lawyer says the manufacturer gave his clients the shaft.
    Aug. 29 - Sep. 4, 1997
advertisement
advertisement