City Desk

Arlington, Den of Thieves

To the greedy bastards who stole my helmet from the top case of my scooter: I have lice. And, I put itching powder in the helmet. And that really good salsa, which you also took, it's expired. Happy botulism day!

After getting so much guff for living in scary Petworth, I should note that this dastardly crime occurred Arlington, in front of the Columbia Pike Library.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin
  • Rollo

    My guess is they rolled in from Petworth on the yellow line, stole your helmet, pawned it, and used the money to buy pomfizzes at domku. Or ak47zzes.
    Arlingtonians light cigars with million dollar bills and eat stemcell fajitas; no time to steal helmets!

  • Bobby

    I agree, we are too busy educating children in well heated and equiped schools, running a functional local government and taking rides in reasonably priced cabs to take the time to steal a helmet. Also, who needs a helmet; everyone in arlington drives Snaabs and Jettas.

  • Dwayne Serrano

    Holy shit number 12 is incredible!

  • Ezequiel Hancock

    Wow I know more about botullisim than I ever wanted to know.