What to Do With This Steaming Pound of Meat on My Desk?
There is a steaming pound of meat on my desk and I don’t know what to do with it.
Okay, that’s not true. On my desk, there is actually a ticket stub from yesterday’s New Year’s Day matinee match-up between the Washington Capitals and the Eastern Conference-leading Ottawa Senators, whom the Caps beat by the score of 6-3. (Last Saturday, the Capitals beat the Senators in Ottawa by the score of 8-6; the lowly Caps are 3-0 against the Sens so far this season.) Should I make the trip to any nearby Austin Grill, however, I would be able to trade this now-seemingly worthless ticket stub for one free pound of chicken wings, while supplies last. (What, is Austin Grill going to run out of wings?) It’s all part of a game-day promotion; any time the Caps score six or more goals in a home game, attendees can get a free pound of wings at Austin Grill the following day with a valid ticket stub.
Had the game been just two days earlier, I would have happily devoured that pound of quivering chicken flesh the following afternoon. I would have done so without bothering to wipe the sauce from my glistening mouth until I was completely finished; perhaps, for good measure, I would have thrown the bony remains at my co-workers while letting out a bellowing belch to signify my dominant place at the top of the food chain. Unfortunately, less than a week ago I was told by my doctor that I need to get my cholesterol down—and, as a result, I made a New Year’s resolution to return to a pesco-vegetarian diet. (I’m pretty sure that, in some other language, “pesco” means “not a.”) So chicken—and, by extension, chicken wings (be they of a free nature or not)—is out.
It’s been real, meat.
2 Responses to “What to Do With This Steaming Pound of Meat on My Desk?”
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January 2nd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
i hope your special feelings for the Sabres didn’t prevent you from watching yesterday’s Winter Classic.
January 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Oh no–I definitely watched the game. The only team I hate more than the Sabres (who I don’t actually dislike at all–I just can’t stand the team’s bandwagon fan base) is the Penguins. Of course, I hate the Pens because I’m a Caps fan, and they’re the Caps biggest rivals. (At least, on our end–I don’t know how much the Pens actually care anymore. They used to be Patrick division rivals, and the Pens beat the Caps 6 out of 7 times in the playoffs in a 10-year span. I think the Pens have won 7 of the last 8 games, too. Plus, the whole Crosby vs. Ovechkin thing.) I LOVE to hate them, though.
That said, I got a real kick out of watching the game. The terrible weather was amazing–like a Superbowl during a blizzard or something. Hopefully it did well rating-wise (don’t know why it had to be on New Year’s Day, though), and they do more in the future.