City Desk

Cafeteria Slimfast

Defense attorneys at D.C. Superior Court are getting a reminder that they’re not at the top of the lawyer food chain. Their meeting space among the tables of the courthouse’s cafeteria is shrinking by more than half in order to make space for the U.S. Marshals Service and Family Court, according to court spokesperson Leah Gurowitz.

The news has gone down like a chunk of heat-lamped meatloaf. One defense attorney cited a full-blown gentrification conspiracy that demonstrates “the ongoing disrespect” to “the rights of poor people.” Another defense attorney, Bruce M. Cooper, mourned the loss, saying, “It’s the only big conference space that most attorneys have access to. Sometimes it’s the first impression that the defendant’s family has of the attorney.”

If the seating cutbacks weren’t enough, the cafeteria also cut the hot entree station. It will be replaced by “concession kiosks” serving coffee and soup, according to an internal court e-mail. In other words, carryout food.

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