Note to Whole Foods: More Samples, Less Service
I was running some errands Saturday when I began to feel a bit peckish. No problem, I thought. I have to go to Whole Foods anyway. I can eat there. I wouldn’t buy lunch, of course. I’d compose it from delicious samples.
To sample successfully at the P Street Whole Foods, you go straight to the bakery section and work your way to the front. The bakery’s good for some fresh bread and, if you’re lucky, a bit of Mo’s Dipping Sauce. Then you head to the olive section where, without risking disapproval, you can sample as many olives as you like. Sometimes you even find a quartered quesadilla atop the prepared foods counter.
But for me, the heart of Whole Foods sampling is the cheese section. That’s where I had my first date with Parrano and where I’ve indulged my lifelong affair with Vermont cheddar. So on Saturday, I bucked tradition and beelined for the brie. It was the right move. I found three pristine triangles of soft cheese, two jars of chutney, and a mound of crackers.
But just as I prepared to shovel a cheese-slathered cracker into my mouth, a hand jutted out and grabbed it from me. “Can I help you?” said a man with a supercilious manner, a slight British accent, and a Whole Foods uniform. “Chutney?” “Sure,” I replied, caught and cowed. I took my chutney and bolted.
Now, I know Whole Foods serves an upscale clientele, and I recognize our society is moving towards ever more services. Just last week, the New York Times Magazine included a photo spread called At Their Service featuring a contemporary art conservator who makes house calls, a medical concierge, and a family wealth counselor.
But amid the abundance of Whole Foods, there’s still something to be said for a little DIY action now and then. I’ve always appreciated the store’s lax sample policies, and I consider it part of our tacit deal: I pay too much for produce, Whole Foods throws in freebies sans judgment. If I go in for seconds or thirds, staffers pretend not to notice. I’ve spent years preserving my end of the bargain, and I expect the same from Whole Foods. So, here’s my advice: Ditch the cheese guy and return to the laissez-faire sample style that got me hooked in the first place.
10 Responses to “Note to Whole Foods: More Samples, Less Service”
Leave a Reply
Recent Posts
- Biking to the Inauguration (0
)
Yesterday, Loose Lips Daily linked to San Francisco Bike Blog-- which thinks the Washington Area Bi… - Will The Kerstetter Shooting Spark Reforms With D.C. Police? (0)
On the morning of November 6, two D.C. police officers responded to the home of David Kerstetter. Th… - 700 Block of 7th Street NW, November 28 (0)
… - Pearl Beale Gets Justice: City Gives Biggest Payout In Wrongful Death Of Inmate (0)
In a "Special 40th Anniversary Issue" of its newsletter, the Washington Lawyers' Committee for Civil… - The Lighting of the National Hairnet (3)
In two days, the decorating committee of the National Parks Service will ruin yet another beautiful…
- Biking to the Inauguration (0
October 22nd, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Can never shop at Whole Foods - they don’t call it Whole Paycheck for nuthin’! Trader Joe’s is almost as good & a lot cheaper anyway (barely any samples, but you can get a 3 oz cup of free coffee)
October 26th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
Ya gotta read this:
http://thecompanybitch.blogspot.com/2006/04/banned-from-whole-foods.html
October 26th, 2007 at 7:16 pm
If you stick to only the 365 brand stuff — you’ll probably pay about the same or a little less than at TJ’s. And there is basically no produce at TJ’s just a bunch of over-packaged samplettes.
October 27th, 2007 at 9:02 am
People like you are messing up free samples. I can’t believe you wrote about it too.
There must not be any shame or decency in your world. I suppose you take freebies from soup kitchens too?
October 27th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Samples are for paying customers to sample, not so some starving writers can get fed for free. Yes whole foods is expensive, but they don’t owe you anything. There was no “implicit” agreement that you get to steal their samples because you were to uppity to shop at cheaper markets. If you didn’t want to overpay for groceries, haul your ass to the local asian market (H-Mart, woot!), which literally costs 50% less than even Safeway/Giant. Of course, you’ll have to wash the Spinach extra carefully to remove all the “organic fertilizer”, but at least the meats at the asian markets are of superior quality.
What starving writers and artistes who had morals did at my liberal arts college was dumpster dive at the local upscale grocery.
October 27th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
I’d have to agree with Roy. Your moaning about lack of free samples shows what a juvenile moocher you are. Perhaps if people like you bought more groceries at Whole Foods instead of STEALING olives and SHOPLIFTING grapes and welshing old bread crumbs, the prices would be cheaper for ALL OF US. Stop thinking you’re entitled to handouts just because you are a “cool” writer working for a paper that does dubious public good, and start living within your means like the rest of us.
Can’t wait for your next post: details about how you’re pissed off at the Mercedes dealership for not allowing you an extended 48 hour roadtrip “test drive.”
October 27th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Oh, Please. Like WF actually factors the cost of free samples into their food prices. Was it the P streets WF? They’ve got the greatest profits of any in the entire chain, or so their employees like to boast.
October 27th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Hey, Ward 2: Take a business class. It’s all part of the bottom line.
October 29th, 2007 at 1:03 pm
[...] Whole Foods, you go straight to the bakery section and work your way to the front,” Gould wrote in the controversial post. “The bakery’s good for some fresh bread and, if you’re lucky, a bit of Mo’s Dipping [...]
October 30th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
I’m sorry if I came over as supercilious.
I was wearing a Virginia Chutney Co. apron and don’t work for Whole Foods. My family makes the chutney and in order to spread the word, we then hand out samples. Even though some of my best friends are “sample shovelers”, when you ignored our “slow cooked, southern-style chutneys” I took it personally and snapped.
Regards,
Oliver