Drivers Ed
This week, Jessica Gould and I took to the mean streets of---well, of a high school parking lot, where we drove in circles. This may seem like a step down from our conquering of McLean last week, but parking lots are trickier than they sound. For one thing, a father-and-son duo kept tailgating us. They circled the lot, stopped for a 10-minute chat, then did it again. That looked pretty boring to us, but it was a safari adventure compared to the father-and-daughter team who did nothing but sit in a parking space and watch us go around and around.
I have not driven in a high school lot since I "passed" my driving exam ten years ago. There were several elements to the test: a three point turn, the dreaded parallel parking, driving on an actual street, etc. I only completed one---the "quick stop"---before my instructor mistakenly signed me off on the entire test. This was a lucky break for me, if not for Florida's pedestrians, because I had only driven once before. An entire summer of drivers ed, and I completely avoided driving---opting to stay inside and watch the scary crash videos instead.
Since then, I have scammed friends and relatives into driving me everywhere I wanted to go. Now, I am scamming them into letting me behind the wheel.
This week's teacher was Beth, who loosed us on the streets of Upper Northwest after our parking-lot antics made her sufficiently dizzy. There, I learned that you should accelerate through curves, because that gives you more control. Drawing upon last week's lesson, I also made sure to wave to neighbors. But unlike the friendly Virginians, it turns out that D.C. residents don't wave back. Instead, they avert their eyes---as if they expect us to roll down the window and ask for spare change.
Additionally, we learned that you don't have to brake for woodland creatures such as birds. "They get out of your way," said Beth. "Well, not that one," she added, as Jessica rolled over a previously-flattened squirrel.
Next week: Jessica spends some time communing with nature while I tackle Mount Pleasant in a Zipcar.
DRIVING LESSON 2
Destination: Upper Northwest
Weather Conditions: Sunny
Lessons Learned: Re-running over roadkill is A-OK.
Sadie: B+. Overcame fear of high schools.
Jessica: B+. Overcame fear of side-mounted car mirrors.
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3:45 pm
Excellent news, glad you are progressing. My friend, coming home from getting his license, hit a bird. The bird's wing got stuck in his windshield wipers, so he panicked and turned on the wipers. But the bird refused to dislodge, so my 16-year-old freshly licensed friend drove for several miles with an expired bird streaking hither and fro across his windshield before it finally fell off. He was somewhat traumatized.
The very next day, he hit another bird, but this one bounced harmlessly off his windshield (well, harmless to him; the bird probably bit it). For a long time, he thought hitting birds while driving must be a pretty common experience and lived with this irrational fear until he eventually realized his two-day avian massacre was naught but an unhappy coincidence.
So I wish you better that that, Sadie.
3:48 pm
Excellent -- I was v. dubious about the "birds getting out of your way" story at first, but after 12 years of driving I can say that it appears to be true. When do you get to try highway driving??
4:20 pm
I fear these driving lessons are a precursor to you eventually moving back to a state (which shall remain anonymous) where public transportation is practically non-existant. Why else would you want to learn an awful skill, in my opinion, when you reside in a corner of the world that is well-serviced by trains, buses, taxis and those amphibious tourist vehicles that occasionally splashdown in the Dupont Circle fountain instead of the Potomac?
5:00 pm
In case she ever TRAVELS?
5:27 pm
Sadie
I think I was the first one to be subjected to your driving. As you may recall, I really wanted you to drive, but once our lessons began, I quickly had my doubts. In 20-20 hindsight, I do think that it was your poor peripheral vision that impeded you severely...and I regret that we didn't pick up on that earlier, but now with your contact lenses, your vision is amazing....so I expect that your driving skills will likewise greatly improve!!
This discussion also brings back memories of your first and only car...aka what your stepbrother coined "The Macaroni-Mobile!...(didn't I invest big bucks in that car (1t least $250). You can tell everyone why he called it that! Ok - good luck to you (and the DC squirrels). As always, I am very proud of you!!! Dad
6:57 pm
The real reason I want to learn to drive? I want to go to the secret gay strip club that Jessica's writing about in the next issue of the City Paper!
(Just kidding Dad! It's actually because I want to move back to Florida.)
((Just kidding Matthew! It's because I want to be able to shuttle myself to those Takoma Park bluegrass jams we are always talking about hitting.))
11:45 pm
Is the macaroni-mobile that repulsive blue bug someone gave you-- the one where you could see the road through the floorboards? The one you never drove? I remember borrowing it at Smith (since you didn't know how to drive an automatic, much less a 40-year-old standard death trap), to drive to Williams, of all places. That midnight road over the Berkshires was...interesting.
Anyway, if your learning to drive is anything like teaching you to apply eyeliner, I wish your teachers (and terribly gullible friends) very good luck. And probably, by the time I see you next you'll have it down cold-- just like the ease in which you now can approach your own eye in a mirror. Now you have absolutely no excuse for not coming to visit me (Vermont being one of those states with absolutely abysmal public transportation.) LOL
11:00 am
I Love it! You took me back to the good 'ole days before I drove everyone around, but rather when I was forbidden to take the wheel. Even though I had acquired my cherish permit and had already passed my lessons, I could only drive with an adult since I was 15 1/2. My mother was terrified at this option and banned me from taking the wheel. I had to be chaufered around in friend's station wagons and reliants, fantasizing when I could finally take the wheel. After pleading for days, my brave grandmother who was visiting us back in 1994, allowed me to drive us down the street to a strip mall that had a beloved blockbuster. I was ecstatic and even when I crossed three lanes of traffic after an ambitious left turn, she stayed calm and collected and told me "I was doing fine", I knew she was freaked out but didn't show it. Needless to say, that with over ten years driving experience, I am still driving and with a better sense of left turns. Except for the one case of running over a pedestrian... It is still being disputed ;-)
Good Luck!!
1:32 pm
On my first driving day of drivers ed the other student didn't know that birds got out of your way and so when we happened upon one she swerved so as not to hit it, resulting in us crashing into a parked car. Needless to say I had to learn the hard way that birds get out of your way. Be thankful that Beth taught you that valuable lesson.
2:07 pm
Sadie,
Hmm. Does this mean I can ask you to drive me around now?
2:21 pm
I'll provide moral support for your driving attempts in exchange for trader joe's runs!
8:34 am
Sadie,
This is funny. I was under the impression that you'd never driven before in your life, so I was impressed to find that you actually had passed the driver's test. Parking lots are good places to learn how to drive -- that's where I learned how to drive a stick shift. Maybe that could be one of your next blogs: learning to drive stick. Even though manual transmissions are going the way of the velociraptor.
3:22 pm
Sadie-
I agree with Chris -- your next challenge must be learning how to drive a stick shift. We could do it together. I've had a total of two lessons so far -- over the last ten years. It's just way too much to keep track of -- I just don't get the appeal!