Losing My Crush on the House
I'm a big fan of walking home after a night out. This pastime does not have much support among my male friends. They say I live in a bad neighborhood (Petworth), and I'm asking for trouble to traverse the streets between my nightlife and my home. I like to think of Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, who marched herself through the dark wintery avenues of the Bronx to report Random Family. Plus, I'm not reporting at 2 a.m.—I'm going home—and I don't walk if I've had too many. The one time I've been the victim of a crime, I was standing in front of my house, and I'd let my guard down. You can't live under a rock in a city.
Anyway.
Last night I discovered that my new journalist girlfriend and Petworth neighbor also enjoys an evening's walk homeward, and is better than me at assuaging the fears of our male protectors. We walked north on Sherman till we got to her place and then I decided to shortcut on Georgia to get myself home. I quickly realized I should have turned back to Sherman. Georgia was a gantlet. I was bombarded with cat calls. Those didn't faze me—but then one of my fans started following. I sneered and walked faster, and he sped up and propositioned me in Spanish. I got a little scared so I looked for a business to duck into. The only one in sight was the House, so far my favorite D.C. strip club.
When I walked in I told the bouncer I was going to wait just a moment until "this guy who's following me moves on." He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Baby girl, you need to go back outside. Don't bring that shit in here." He physically ushered me back onto the sidewalk, where my fan was waiting. He lurched forward and I darted around him into the street, where two men pulled over in an SUV, obviously mistaking me (in cowboy boots and a short skirt) for someone interested in a business transaction, or so I imagined. I ran past them and finally stopped at Temperance Hall. The bouncers there were nice, and invited me in, but I thought I was safe and continued on. By that time though, I think I'd lost my street composure and two more guys in cars stopped to try and pick me up. I gave up and hailed a cab, who noticing my developing hysteria, drove me the five blocks home for free.
That said, I'm still walking home. Still gonna wear boots and skirts. But I'm avoiding Georgia Avenue. And I have a bone to pick with the House.
3:03 pm
This is awful. If you can't trust the bouncer at a seedy jiggling ass-worshipping Georgia Avenue strip club, who CAN you trust?
(Your description of dodging these miscreants reminds me of the old video game "Frogger." Someone should create a new version of that game where the frog protagonist would be replaced by a woman attempting to get home via Georgia Avenue, having to dodge idjits left and right. They could call it "Ogler.")
3:54 pm
Any male friend who was worth anything would see to it that you got home safely. ESPECIALLY if you live in a shady neighborhood. Get some male friends with manners.
3:58 pm
Wha? If someone told me they wanted to "see me home safely" I'd tell them to fuck off.
4:02 pm
My friend and I were seeing each other home safely, the best option of all. I just made a wrong turn.
4:07 pm
By "someone," I meant a guy who said it in a weird Victorian way like I'm incapable of seeing myself home--not talking smack about you and your friend at all!
4:13 pm
Whatever. Those male friends are still pieces of shit for not seeing the both of you ladies home. Victorian my ass.
4:17 pm
I had a date once who *refused* to let me walk home at night by myself. I was hot from dancing, I was tired, I wanted solo time and fresh air, and he would NOT let it alone. It annoyed me. Sure, walking home solo's a risk, but you're an adult human being and should be allowed to take one if you choose. It's the a-holes who hassled Valdez on the street and the creepy bouncer who wouldn't help her who had no manners.
4:18 pm
Booooooo Amanda!
6:16 pm
Let’s summarize, shall we? The author – presumably attractive, provocatively dressed and inebriated Latin female - finds herself in a vicinity of a strip club on Georgia Avenue without an escort in the middle of a fucking night. And now for the big surprise...
The young woman endures catcalls, an indecent proposal and even pursuit by an infatuated, if unsophisticated, man. Which frightens the Dickens out of her. She decides to share her unprecedented experience with the readers. The end.
6:21 pm
Then, Ernest repeats the story in almost as many words as the original.
6:26 pm
what does her ethnicity have to do with it?
i can't give advice because i haven't an inkling of what its like to be a woman and put up with this kind of shit. but as a lifelong dc resident i can say this: you need to work on your 'keep walking-completely ignore everything' type game. acknowledging the pest will get you robbed/shot/raped in this town. most of the troublemakers are bored and will leave you alone after a block or so.
also, if you're a woman, always carry mace.
6:32 pm
Valdez just needs a strong man with decent jiu jitsu skills and access to a glock who can protect her and watch out for her best interests;
a man who can tell her what to wear on nights when she has his permission to go out kicking it (old school style of course.)
7:10 pm
Short skirts and boots in dangerous neighborhoods?.. Ms. Valdez deserves a medal.
7:18 pm
Not to mention the Pulitzer Prize.
I find this dress extremly becoming, Peggy. Did you buy it in Paris?
10:51 am
Ernest, you miss the point entirely. And your summary's not just snide but wrong: a) Valdez says she doesn't walk if she's had too many; she was *not* inebriated, b) I'm not sure a short skirt and cowboy boots qualifies as "provocatively dressed" these days, but it's charming of you to rehash the old "she was asking for it" argument, c) She says the catcalls didn't faze her.
You managed to "summarize" without getting the point: A local business, (one with a bouncer, so more prepared to deal with creeps than your average Georgia Ave. biz) faced with a young woman trying to avoid a potential stalker in the middle of the night, chucked her back out onto the street and into his open arms. That just sucks.
8:02 pm
So sad to hear this, Angela--I had a very similar experience in New York City with three followers in a pack (though dressed in a white t-shirt, loose jeans, and two braids --so Ernest's "provocatively dressed old-think is just SO BEYOND THE POINT WRONG!) and ended up shaking in my room for two days. I applaud you for getting angry and getting this out there.
One thing that needs to change here is not just where you, I, and other women walk, but what is considered acceptable male behavior. It's like the whole "broken windows" syndrome of streets where there is trash and stuff being more crime-ridden---when cat calls and other demeaning behavior is seen as okay, stalking and other scary behavior follows close behind. Guys like that bouncer (and ERNEST here) need to get with it and realize they have a role to play in making this kind of thing history.
8:16 pm
I'll not pass judgement on attire etc, a woman should not be harrassed if she doesn't want it. PERIOD. I live very near GA & NH and I won't go much past Temperance Hall at night alone. During the day I don't even feel super comfy around The House and usually cross the street several times to 1) avoid the sidewalk construction but more importantly 2) i can tell if anyone is following me. All that being said, I think a lot of GA Avenue (in the day) is harmless, but given I don't hang out there at night, I don't know. Most of the street looks far too drunk to actually act on much of anything. Best to you and be safe!
8:48 am
Calling Petworth a "dangerous neighborhood" is a bit of a stretch. Get real, folks.
12:06 pm
Depends on what area and time of day, Skippy.
11:57 am
If a short skirt and cowboy boots outfit doesn’t qualify as “provocative”, what does? I think it a dress-for-men look in a classic sense – not exactly blatantly suggestive yet certainly sexual attention seeking combination.
Further, to count on the strip club bouncer as a noble protector was naïve to say the least. Besides, what was he to do? To let her on the premises thus to provoke harassment from the patrons as well? He doesn’t need the crap.
The “point” that ought to be made is one either shouldn’t be walking where one shouldn’t be walking or be prepared to face the consequences. Ever heard of taking responsibility for your actions?
Really, Carrie, SarahG has more sense than you do.
2:41 pm
Ernest, saying that a woman wearing a short skirt and cowboy boots is "dressed for men" is so silly it barely warrants dissection of all the assumptions -- about fashion, her sexuality, the length of the skirt, her reasons for wearing particular clothing -- it makes.
So let's focus on the hypocrisy of your argument re: taking responsibility for your actions: That applies to no one but Valdez? Stalkers are excused from culpability? Citizens need feel no responsibility to each other when one of them expresses concern for her safety and asks to stop inside for a minute?
I'm sure the Taliban boys would be down with your argument: Men can't be expected to behave responsibly; the slightest hint of sexuality causes them to leap, penises a-throbbin', onto the nearest female. Therefore women should wear the veil and stay indoors if they desire safety or respect. (I'm not sure which gender that idea insults more.)
Tell the truth, Ernest: Has Jane Goodall seemed *unusually* interested in you lately? Would you like a yummy yummy banana?
10:55 am
Ha ha ha. Now, Carrie, while your attempts at humor are overall passable but your views are simplistic, twisted and exaggerated.
No, stalkers are not “excused from culpability”. Stalking is vulgar and creepy, but the article is not about stalkers, it’s about Angela, by Angela and from Angela’s perspective. Take another angle, however, and she may have been sending wrong signals to the wrong guy. Inadvertently, no doubt, but nevertheless.
The Taliban comparison is particularly preposterous. There’s a time and place for everything, that includes displaying “hints of sexuality”, or what some call cock teasing. And somehow Georgia Ave in the heat of the night doesn’t strike me as the right place for this particular activity, especially when considerations of respect and safety are involved.
“… short skirts….. barely warrants dissection of all the assumptions...” Cut the crap, Carrie. Not that there’s anything wrong with short skirts, but again, time and place are of crucial importance. Sporting one on a seedy block is unwise unless she wishes to be accosted by the kind of men who hang out on seedy blocks. According to the reporter, that wasn’t the case. Reduced to tears, she had to flee. Doesn’t it prove my point?
11:22 am
It certainly does, Ernest. Your logic defies refute.
12:18 pm
Apart from that, Ernest deserves substantial raise. The entire office agree.
12:58 pm
Right, Ernest: It's obviously Angela's fault, for having the radical idea that she should be able to walk home safely in the same outfit that she's been socializing in with her friends rather than first changing into the HAZMAT suit appropriate for Georgia Ave.
Even if you believe women should have to gear their clothing to discourage sexual attention (which, by the way, doesn't work; I was on Georgia Ave. the other night in jeans and a t-shirt and I may as well have been wearing a bikini), you have yet to present a single point to contradict the main issue: That the bouncer at the House -- an establishment in her neighborhood, one she had actually patronized -- was an asshole for not letting her in.
If your car ever breaks down somewhere unsafe, and you've come from the gym and you're wearing those short-shorts and your fine callipygian little ass is threatened by 300-pound shaved-head hooting leather-clad S & M bikers, I hope that a local club will offer you sanctuary, rather than lecturing you smugly about your shorts and the importance of regular car maintenance and sending you back out for the ass-pounding beatdown that you would so richly deserve.
And don't pretend that a short skirt and cowboy boots does it for you, Ernest; you've made your sexual predilections entirely clear. If you google "red shiny ass of female baboon in heat," you should find some women you can really talk to.
3:06 pm
As I live and flourish, Carrie! You happen to carry an uncanny resemblance to a supreme example of the described species yourself!
Now, do yourself a favor and have some counterpart inscribe on your red (no pun intended) shiny ass in block letters the following reminder: “I must live in the real world as opposed to one that exists only in my little head!”
3:08 pm
Bob, it would be an honor and a privilege to treat you and your family to a night of fine food and drink. A weekend, even
Peggy, you look leggy without looking vulgar. Fabulous dress.
6:15 pm
Care to try it on?
Oh, you forgot to present a single point to contradict the main issue: That the bouncer at the House — an establishment in her neighborhood, one she had actually patronized — was an asshole for not letting her in.
6:36 pm
Bah!..
Oh yes, the point.. the bouncer... She had the great expectations of the bouncer but he turned out to be no gentleman. An asshole. So to speak. He let her down. Driven to tears, she fled by taxi. How shaming.
6:45 pm
Yes, it is a shame.
Are you free for a drink tonight?
6:47 pm
It is difficult to feel stung by jibes about my looks within the blogosphere, Ernest. But I hope your boss hears Bob's cries of support and gives you a raise of two mangos, a coconut, and a few of the tasty fleas from the ass of your screeching, puffy-red-butt beloved.
Do let us know when you and the rest of those typing monkeys manage to recreate the entire works of Shakespeare, will you? So far you're managing more like the early works Norman Mailer after a severe head injury and a few scotches.
7:02 pm
I am not. I already promised Beaky to help repair his moped. He just arrived from Copenhagen and has no wheels to get around, poor thing. Awfully nice of you to ask though.
7:22 pm
Tomorrow night then?
Carrie can be disgusting but deep inside she may be fine. Who knows.
7:26 pm
Yes.